Attention working and other writers, and all men: be jealous of me.

[Robb]

Get this.

I just accepted a gig where I'll be paid for my writing in beef jerky.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Buddy with a jerky biz needs a little re-write on his promo stuff. Probably a half-hour's work, but he absolutely LOADED me with jerky. :D

I'm being paid in jerky. :rofl:

[reyd reid reed]

1. That's better than...

No. I'm not gonna go there. Tooooooo easy.

x(

:rofl::rofl::rofl:



Truly, though...congratulations. I've made as much as $100.00/year...BIG bucks.

I've gotta admit though, with a few exceptions, most of what I do is so short it borders on...notes.

[Kutjara]

2. Don't forget to...

...save all the dry end-bits and stringy stuff at the bottom of the bag, and send it to the IRS. They're owed their fair share, after all.

[Robb]

3. Tax law is cut and dried that way

:D

[hsher]

9. Groaaaannnnnn

Rimshot: "Ta-dump-dump."

[Nevernose]

4. You are my hero. And what kind of jerky?

I bow before you. Please allow me to kneel and worship at the living-altar-which-is-Robb.

And what kind of jerky? There's really no use bragging about it unless you can rub it in with the details a little bit.

[Robb]

5. (rustles through giant jerky sack)

We got halla peno, we got terra yaki, we got pepper, we got buffalo. Some beef strips in here, looks like various slim-jim-like products. Also some other crap he sells at the store, chocolate covered sunflower seeds, which rock, and this pop-on-the-cob popcorn thing.

All this, plus a hoodie sweatshirt that promotes jerky use. I'm never gonna get this good a gig again. :D

[Nevernose]

6. What do Chaucer, Twain, Steinbeck, and Jim Morrison have in common?

What do Chaucer, Steinbeck, and Jim Morrison have in common?

When they died, as they lived, they (probably) didn't have pepper jerky on them.

When Chaucer was working as a London toll-taker and wrote the "Canterbury Tales," did he have Teriyaki flavored jerky on him? No.

When Steinbech was penning "The Grapes of Wrath," did he have jalapeno beef jerky on him? Well, maybe, but for the sake of argument let's say he didn't.

Did Mark Twain compose the first Great American Novel because of the rush of non-carbohydrate energy that his buffalo jerky gave him? Of course not! He was still depressed because he blew all of his "Tom Sawyer" money on some crazy-ass invention called a "typewriter," not to mention selling his immortal soul to move to the North, New Hampshire, and that he was so far in debt, he needed to write a sequel. Fuck him. Where's Mark Twain's fucking jerky?

And fuck New Hampshire, too. Just because. Non-jerky-eating sons-a-bitches.

And, when Jimi Hendrix choked to death, did he have jerky in his pocket? I think not. What what was it he choked on again? It certainly wasn't on the dried carcass of an iconic American animal prolific in the 19th century, that's for certain. Selfish bastard had to go and choke on his own vomit, and not on tasty, low-fat buffalo jerky.

And that's why you, Robb, are better than Chaucer, Steinbeck, Twain, and Jimi Hendrix.

[Robb]

7. You make good sense

Now if only this crap wasn't between my teeth, I could enjoy the entire matter. :D

[sfwriter]

11. Well ... and one more thing...

"And that's why you, Robb, are better than Chaucer, Steinbeck, Twain, and Jimi Hendrix."

Well that and he isn't dead.

I haven't done as much as some of those dead guys, but they're dead and what good does that do you?

[rug]

8. I got paid with a dog once.

[necso]

10. Jerky's not bad,

but I can think of rather better currencies to be paid in.

[sfwriter]

12. I got paid in wine...

I got paid in wine by a winnery!

I've been paid in copies by "zines."

I've been paid in Yen and Pounds by foriegn mags.

I've been paid for BOOKS and VIDEOS that never got published.

Writing is a strange business.

[AllegroRondo]

13. I've been paid in beer before,

but never jerky.

I used to fix musical instruments as a side job. Musicians are not known for having lots of money, but they usually have access to good alcohol. Standard price for fixing a saxophone was a case of Guinness.

[BarenakedLady]

14. Well congratulations

I guess. But jerky is just nasty.