My (half) sister died tonight. I'm not sure what I am feeling.

[darmok167]

I'm not looking for prayers or sympathy because quite frankly, I am okay. She was 16 years older than me and from my Dad's first marriage. I never really "knew" her. I never grew up with her.

Quite frankly, she never really cared for me or my brother because we were creations of the "marriage that wound up 'working'" if that makes any sense. Even though it shouldn't have...but I am getting on a tangent.

As we got older, we (she) seemed to put aside our (her) differences.

I have two young children (2 and 3). She really seemed to care about them a lot, in spite of the fact that they were mine. (a product of a marriage her Father had with someone that wasn't her Mother) I always thought that was very cool.

I saw her at family gatherings about 2-3 times per year and whenever she would show up at the family business to say hi. We were always "friendly" even though we never really knew or cared about each other.

That being said, what really hurts me is the call I got tonight from Dad that I didn't even answer. The phone rings, my wife answers, I pick up (in my office) about 10 seconds later and hear a dial tone. My wife comes downstairs and says, "Your Dad called...He said '(name)' passed away...tell/call (your brother)...and then hung up."

My Father just lost a child. I know life isn't fair or anything but that is just wrong. Parents are not supposed to outlive children, in my opinion.

On top of this, my Grandmother, on my Father's side, is very likely to die as well within the next two weeks or so. She actually went into the hospital first.

My Dad was an asshole. I hated him for a long time. In some ways, I still do, but he is a fantastic Grandparent to my Children. I guess he has mellowed out.

He just lost a daughter and is likely to lose his mother very soon. I just lost a sister (half) and am likely to lose another Grandmother very soon.

I'm not sure what type of response I am looking for. Perhaps none. I just wanted to talk and it has been my experience that you guys are great listeners.

It just seems wrong.

I don't know.

[RevCheesehead]

1. That's a lot of stuff to sort through.

No wonder you're having trouble figuring out what you're feeling.

My sympathies on all the stress you're enduring right now.
And, a hug. :hug:

[some guy]

2. I'm sorry for your loss

:hug:

I had a step-brother die recently; sort of a similar situation. The reason I am posting is to warn you about whatever services will be held. I was sort of not feeling all that bad about my step-brother's death, but at his service, I was completely unprepared for how much it had affected other membrs of my family. Some were hit very hard by it, of course. I don't know why I hadn't considered how it might affect them.

Best wishes to you and those you love.

[Skittles]

3. those sentiments are sad indeed

I have a half-brother Mark who is the product of an affair my dad had - doesn't matter to me, he's my brother and even though he is English and lives in England we have been writing and emailing since I was first made aware of him when I was 19 and he was 16 (LOL, Mark sad his mum nearly had a heart attack when she saw a letter with my name on the return address). When I go to England I see him and when he is in the States on business he stops by my apartment. :)

My condolences to you; I know you are feeling something or you would not have posted.

[Shine]

4. Wow, that sounds rough. I wish you Peace and Clarity.

:hug:
You sound as if you still have a lot of compassion for your Dad, despite your history with him. May that Compassion serve you well in the days and weeks ahead....

:hug:

[mad-mommy]

5. sorry for your loss....

It's strange how our feelings can change so much over a lifetime. My dad wasn't perfect as we were growing up, but I see now where he has changed his ways, the way he thinks and acts, and how better he is with the grandchildren.

In the last few weeks, I have seen where estranged siblings had come together when one of them became very ill, and was hospitalized for her terminal illness. The sisters felt so bad over the years they had lost with her, but she had made her peace with them before she died, and I assured them, it is better late than never.

Allow yourself some time, and let your feelings guide you.

I am sorry for your loss, and that your grandmother is sick.

[crim son]

6. You must feel whatever you do, and it sounds about

right to me. I'm sorry that your family has suffered this loss.

[Nevernose]

7. Your Dad didn't mellow out.

You did.

Also, sixteen years is quite a bit of maturity and experience that you don't have yet. You will, someday.

All I can say is that what you're going through -- I've been through similar experiences. The confusion is the worst part, and also the first stage. It gets better, especially if your Dad knows how much you care, no matter how much you want to scream at him on occasion. Your sister had as many problems as you did in your family, even if they weren't the same.

The only person responsible for your feelings, though, is you, and what you choose to do with them is up to you.

I'm sorry for your loss. Godd luck and God bless.

It gets better. I promise.

[Haole Girl]

8. ...

:hug: Please take care...and take care of your Dad during this most difficult time. Here's one more...:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. I'm sorry for your family's loss...

And I'm sorry you and your sister didn't get to know each other better.

I wish you peace... :hug:

[Rowdyboy]

10. At least he called....My dad wouldn't have done that....

I'm sorry, it sounds like a tough situation. Don't let your dad didtract you from whats really important.

And, also, know that you have friends.