the priest came to give my dad last rites this morning.

[xchrom]

for two years i have cared for dad -- and my mom -- as he slowly succumbed to old age.

the last year -- i was his body -- his arms -- his legs.

and his body became mine -- aged, infirm and slowly falling prey to encroaching dementia.

i bathed him, fed him -- moved from bed to chair and back.

i cleansed his wounds, washed and changed him and imperfectly loved him and looked after his wife - my mom.

he's breathing his last and giving me back my body -- and he claims his for the last time.

i've surrounded him with pictures of his sister and his parents -- and the ashes of our beloved dogs and and cat who will accompany him to the grave -- but who will be the first to greet him at heaven's gates.

i can't say how much i miss him -- will miss him when he takes his last breath.

and i love him more than i can say.

blessed be god -- father, son and holy spirit.
and blessed be god's kingdom now and forever.
amen.

[Call Me Wesley]

1. Safe passage to your dad, xchrom.

Might he be free from suffering. Peace and comfort to you and yours. I'm sorry.

[xchrom]

4. thank you -- the dogs will see him there.

and the cat will take the credit.

[QMPMom]

2. I am so sorry,

You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

[xchrom]

5. thanks.

[Radio_Lady]

101. Xchrom, you are a dutiful son. I sincerely hope there is someone as

caring who accompanies you at the end.

It would be justified completely.

I was estranged from my father due to an occasion of Clintonesque sexual abuse which he never admitted. I did see him a few months before he died, and he was so debilitated from heart disease and other infirmities that I tried to quell the resentment in my soul.

I am an only child, so there were few alternatives for my father. Mother seemed well enough and cheerful, but she was slowly descending into the age abyss. We were not close and we had an argument on the telephone a few days before she passed away. After Mother died, suddenly and alone in her apartment, my husband and I flew from Boston to Miami to settle their affairs. This was 15 years ago, and I am only now feeling regretful that I did not help them out more when they were alive.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[tjwmason]

3. .

In paradisum deducant te Angeli; in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres, et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem. Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, et cum Lazaro quondam paupere æternam habeas requiem. Pie Iesu Domine, dona eis requiem. Dona eis requiem sempiternam.

[xchrom]

6. thank you so much.

[judaspriestess]

7. I am so sorry

I grew up without a father. How lucky you are to have had the life you had with him. But for me, all is forgiven and we move on from the hurt that it caused in my youth.....

My mommy lives with me and she is still young but she's getting up there and I will do exactly the same thing you did with your dad. I will always take care of my mom and she knows it.

God bless you...........

[xchrom]

8. thank you.

[RetroLounge]

9. Oh, Man, I am so sorry.

All I can do is give you a hug...

:hug:

RL

[xchrom]

10. thank you.

[Lars39]

11. ~

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[xchrom]

26. thanks

[Karenina]

12. May he fly on the wings of angels

to his rest. Condolences to you and your family. :hug:

[xchrom]

27. swing low sweet chariot... thank you.

[NewWaveChick1981]

13. Xchrom, I am so sorry...

:hug: That must be terrible. :( Please accept my deepest sympathies. :pals: I know you will miss him more than words can express.

[xchrom]

28. i do and i will miss him. thank you.

[swimboy]

14. I'm sorry, xchrom.

You sure have been a wonderful son to him. I wish him all the best on his journey and to you on your passage through this difficult time.

:hug:

[xchrom]

29. he is/was a wonderful father. thank you.

[Bunny]

15. You are a lovely man.

I wish a peaceful passage for your father, and comfort for you. :hug:

[xchrom]

30. thank you.

[LeftyMom]

16. You're a good man and a good son

I'm sure your parents are proud of you, and grateful for you.

[xchrom]

31. i'm grateful to my parents. thank you.

[rockymountaindem]

17. May the Lord be with you and your family

I marked the anniversaries of the deaths of my grandmothers today, so I feel a small portion of your pain. May God comfort you.

[xchrom]

32. and also with you. thank you.

[brook]

18. and Blessed are you,xchrom.

Your love for your father shines as a star through your beautiful words. You have made the priceless gift to him of a peaceful transition. You have both my admiration and my sympathy. :hug:

[xchrom]

33. thank you.

[sarge43]

19. "End?

No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path -- one that we all must take. The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all change to silver glass -- then you see it -- white shores ... and beyond. The far green country under a swift sunrise."

[xchrom]

34. the dogs are waiting for him. in that green place.

they will see him home.

[sarge43]

46. And they will be filled with joy to see their beloved friend again n/t

[uppityperson]

20. thank you for what you wrote. My condolences and wishes for peace to you,...

and the rest of his family and friends. It is difficult to have a parent die.

[xchrom]

35. thank you.

[mcar]

21. Bless you for loving so much

You have truly honored your parents with your loving care of your Dad. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you now. I have a little clue because both my parents died of cancer, at home and my sibs and I helped to care for them, but not to your degree.

You are an incredibly giving person. I wish your father a peaceful passage and you a peaceful transition.

[xchrom]

36. i only tried to love him as he loved me. thank you.

[Gormy Cuss]

22. Your father is a rich man because

he has a son who loves him this much.

Peace to him and to you xchrom.

[xchrom]

37. thank you.

[miss_american_pie]

23. My condolences

I pray your family is comforted. :hug:

[xchrom]

38. thank you.

[Kajsa]

24. I'm so sorry ,Xchrom.

You and your family are in
my thoughts and prayers at
this difficult time.

Your father knows he is loved.

:hug:

[xchrom]

39. thank you.

[RevCheesehead]

25. God bless you and your family, xchrom.

Your spirit is well, and so is his.
Yes, it will hurt like hell for a while, but it does ease with time.

You are in my prayers. :hug:

[xchrom]

40. and god bless you as well, thank you.

[hatredisnotavalue]

41. You truly are an inspiration to us caring for ailing parents

I truly don't know how you do it. I am sorry for what you are going thru, but faith will guide you.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

[xchrom]

42. and we shall all dwell in the house of the lord. thank you for your words.

[BarenakedLady]

43. I'm so very sorry.

:hug:

[xchrom]

59. thank you.

[photogirl12]

44. I am so sorry, xchrom

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[xchrom]

51. thank you.

[xchrom]

58. thank you.

[ThomCat]

45. You're a good man

and you apparently come from a very good family.

:hug:
I'm very sorry.

[xchrom]

53. my folks are wonderful people. thank you.

[Flaxbee]

47. Oh xchrom, I'm sorry.

I know it's been very difficult but also fulfilling. I wish you, your dad, and your family peace and comfort. :hug:

[xchrom]

55. thank you flaxbee.

[DrDan]

48. wow - what a caring father he must have been

to have such a caring child . . . .

[xchrom]

54. he was caring and wonderful -- he was a father. thank you.

[ikojo]

90. Xchrom, you and all who were lucky enough

to have a dad who stuck around and raised you are fortunate and blessed indeed.

I hope your mom is able to come through this OK.

[Throckmorton]

49. I buried my beloved wife April with her cats ashes,

Matty, the wonder cat, who died the day she was diagnosed with cancer.

Godspeed to your father, and may you always remember him right.

[xchrom]

50. the dogs will bring him to heaven's gates -- and the cat will

make sure they did it right.

[ronnykmarshall]

99. That's so sweet.

I know one day I'll be greeted by my beloved cat Mickey and our family dog Cleo. My brother will be tapping his foot hanging out with Florence Ballard (of the Supremes) and say .... "Well looky who's here." Flo will say "Honey, you is terrific".

[lildreamer316]

52. Sending light to ease his passage..

and yours.:hug:

[xchrom]

56. and he has now found it. blessed be. thank you.

[Road Scholar]

57. I am sorry my friend. You all are lucky to have each other. eom

[xchrom]

62. thank you, my friend. he has now gone on.

[Lady Freedom]

60. My dearest sympathy ...

[xchrom]

63. oh my -- he looked out at roses from his bed every day. thank you.

[Haole Girl]

61. He is very fortunate to have you there beside him...

...:hug: :hug:

[xchrom]

65. he's now gone -- he was my dad -- my father. thank you.

[Haole Girl]

68. I'm sorry for your loss...

...:hug: :hug:

[xchrom]

72. thank you.

[Nicole]

64. I'm sorry

xchrom,
You're a good son to show your father such kindness & love.

Prayers to comfort & give you strength.

[xchrom]

66. thank you.

[barb162]

67. I'm so sorry. It' so sad.

I'm near tears reading this. May his last moments and yours be peaceful

[xchrom]

73. he has been met by his beloved animals and gone

to be with jesus now.

i thank you.

[ikojo]

91. I don't know your father or you, xchrom but

the love you had for one another comes across in your brief comments here. You sound like such a caring giving person.

Peace be with you and your family as you mourn.

May mourning bring you comfort.

zichranon livracha...

TRANSLATION OF KADDISH


May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which he has created according to his will. May his Kingship be established in your lifetime and in your days, and in the lifetime of the entire household of Israel, swiftly and in the near future; and say, Amen.
May his great name be blessed, forever and ever.
Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, honored elevated and lauded be the Name of the holy one, Blessed is he- above and beyond any blessings and hymns, Praises and consolations which are uttered in the world; and say Amen. May there be abundant peace from Heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who makes peace in his high holy places, may he bring peace upon us, and upon all Israel; and say Amen.

KADDISH TRANSLITERATION


Yis'ga'dal v'yis'kadash sh'may ra'bbo, b'olmo dee'vro chir'usay v'yamlich malchu'say, b'chayaychon uv'yomay'chon uv'chayay d'chol bais Yisroel, ba'agolo u'viz'man koriv; v'imru Omein.
Y'hay shmay rabbo m'vorach l'olam ul'olmay olmayo.
Yisborach v'yishtabach v'yispoar v'yisromam v'yismasay, v'yishador v'yis'aleh v'yisalal, shmay d'kudsho, brich hu, l'aylo min kl birchoso v'sheeroso, tush'bechoso v'nechemoso, da,ameeran b'olmo; vimru Omein.
Y'hay shlomo rabbo min sh'mayo, v'chayim alaynu v'al kol Yisroel; v'imru Omein.
Oseh sholom bimromov, hu ya'aseh sholom olaynu, v'al kol yisroel; vimru Omein.

[greatauntoftriplets]

69. Oh, xchrom, you have given your all for him....

You obviously have taken excellent care of him. I am so sorry for your imminent loss.

Like you, I took care of both my parents. It's never easy....

[xchrom]

74. then you know -- thank you -- and he's gone now.

[greatauntoftriplets]

79. I am so sorry for your loss....

Be well. It cannot be an easy time for you and your mother.

[ScreamingMeemie]

70. xchrom...how my heart hurts for you tonight...

I'm so sorry your dad has left you.

As long as somebody speaks his name, he's never really gone. :hug: Your family, and especially you, will be close in thought. What you have written here is the most moving post I have ever read.

Please take gentle care,

~Laura

[xchrom]

75. thank you so, mrs grumpy.

[blondeatlast]

71. What a beautiful tribute to him. God bless him and your family,

my friend.

I was with my dad when he took that last breath; he looked quite peaceful after a long. hard struggle.


My love to you all.

[xchrom]

76. thank you.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

77. I am very sorry for your loss, xchrom.

I'm hoping you and your family will be comforted by this old Irish prayer:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

You, your mother and the rest of your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[xchrom]

78. and may god also hold you. thank you.

that's one of my fav prayers.

[w8liftinglady]

80. Bless you.I'm a nurse who cares for many at the end of life

The strength and sheer love of their families is a testament to the person they were before their illness.I am often in awe of the families that care,without complaint,for their loved ones.Know that it made a major impact in your dad's last days.he had peace knowing those who loved him were there,and cared.I hope you find some comfort in that.I'm thinking of you.

[xchrom]

83. thank you.

[bridgit]

81. dear one come closer if even for a moment to me...

you have stayed in my mind a wondrous memory of procession, and blessed familial concourse; here i extend to you a facet of my belief system this: great & good works you perform are not able to be forgotten; every wholesome remembrance remains in our minds, no human tear is ever fallen...they are 'the all of it' writ in: The Book Of Life, friend, peace to you & yours :hug:

Do and be seen doing ~

[xchrom]

84. oh my sweet bridgit, thank you so much!

[AussieDave]

82. Dear xchrom - I'm so sorry to hear this

I hope he has a peaceful passage and you will find comfort in knowing he's at peace and rest. He's on a new journey now, with the dogs and cat to keep him company.

Big hugs, mate. :hug:

[xchrom]

86. i do belive there was a joyous reunion with our dogs and cat.

thank you.

[uppityperson]

96. Indeed there probably was. Hugs and condolences again.

I had to check in with this thread this morning, thinking about you. Rest and take care of yourself, and your mother also.

[Heidi]

85. my friend, I'm so sorry to hear that your dad suffered,

but am glad to know he's free now. Love and light to you and your family. :hug:

[xchrom]

87. love and light to you and yours as well. thank you.

[buddhamama]

88. my dear, xchrom

i am sorry for what your dad has suffered... he is at Peace...

my heart is with you, my friend.

if there is anything you need, anything at all, i am here.

love and peace to you all. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[xchrom]

92. thank you -- wonderful, sweet buddhamama.

[buddhamama]

94. take comfort my friend,

if you can, in the knowledge that your Dad has not left this world. His life- his deeds and his energy live on through the people he has touched in the most personally of ways and those who might not even been aware of his 'presence'. He lives on in you.

And he will not be forgotten. :hug: :hug:

[ikojo]

89. What a tribute to your father...

I was moved reading your words and feeling the LOVE in the spaces between the letters.

Safe passage to your dad as he leaves this world for what lies beyond.

May his memory be for a blessing.

[xchrom]

93. his memory must be because his life was a blessing. thank you.

[salin]

95. Peace be with you and your mother

you certainly gave great comfort to your father, surrounding him in love and warmth.

[ronnykmarshall]

97. Oh baby I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[wildhorses]

98. take comfort in the circle of life--

what once was
will be again
:hug:

[Phillycat]

100. May he know peace.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Midlodemocrat]

102. May perpetual light shine upon him.

I'm sorry for your loss, xchrom. I lost my dad in 2004 and my mom in 2002. It hurts a lot, even now.

Someone sent me this poem when my mom died. I think it is beautiful and it reminds me of them in the beauty and splendor that is nature.

I AM NOT THERE

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP,
I AM NOT THERE, I DO NOT SLEEP

I AM A THOUSAND WINDS THAT BLOW,

I AM THE DIAMONDS GLINTS ON SNOW,

I AM THE SUNLIGHT ON RIPENED GRAIN,

I AM THE GENTLE AUTUMN RAIN.

WHEN YOU AWAKEN IN THE MORNINGS HUSH
I AM THE SWIFT UPLIFTING RUSH,
OF QUIET BIRDS IN CIRCLED FLIGHT.

I AM THE SOFT STARS THAT SHINE AT NIGHT.

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND CRY,
I AM NOT THERE, I DID NOT DIE.