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Edited on Thu Nov-02-06 07:01 AM by MrsGrumpy
I find myself hoping that this guy is just messing with them:
September 27, 2006 Pastor Confessions
We want to hear your stories if you are a pastor and you struggle with porn or have struggled in the past, can you please post your story here. You can rename anonymous or you can put all your information. Sharing your story we believe will help you as well as help other pastors in need.
PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS BLOG UNLESS YOU ARE A PASTOR WITH A STORY.
08:36 PM | Permalink
Comments Hi,
I'm a pastor of a small church. I've been keeping an eye on this blog for a while, and I figured it was time to speak up.
Quite simply, my life is jacked up. Yes, as you guessed I have a dirty little secret called pornography. I've managed to hide it from my wife, two teenage daughters and my small church, and I live feeling guilty every day of the week.
I lead a double-life. I'm a full-time pastor, but most of the time I just stay alone in my church office, downloading a lot of porn videos off the Internet, and I'm just completely unable to stop it. I even bought an extra hard drive just to keep those videos and it's already getting full. The most painful moment in my life is when my daughters give me a hug and tell me they love me and they think I'm the greatest guy in the whole world. That hurts, but it's still better than having two angry daughters cursing me for my porn addiction. My wife and I haven't been intimate for years now because I just don't feel like that with her anymore. She doesn't do all the naughty stuff like those girls in video clips, and she isn't physically attractive as those young girls. She's definitely not interested in Victoria's Secret kind of fashion, either. Fortunately she isn't interested in sex all that much, so she seems to think it's kinda cool that I'm not needy in that sense. But that's just so pathetic in a way. It's like a car without A/C during the summer in Houston. It works, but it stinks.
So, guys, stay away from porn at all costs! If you can't, at least do a good job hiding it from your family and church. It's better to do that than making them go through a hell. In my case I pretty much gave up on myself. I simply pray that God will use my preaching independent of my personal struggles so more people would come and support my church. The Gospel must move forward regardless of my personal issues. That's what matters.
***I'd hate to be a member of his flock.
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