Just had a HUGE fight with my brother the Dittohead.... I think it may be the last

[belladonna]

We've always argued about politics but it's never been quite like this. I really think I may just disown him altogether after the ignorance he displayed today. :mad:

Our father had Parkinson's disease, early onset, pretty much identical in every respect to the way Michael J. Fox's has presented. My father went through absolute hell with this disease and passed away way too early in his life, at the age of 56. I remember kids making fun of my father when I was very young and even adults acting as though he had the fucking plague when we'd walk through a grocery store or go anywhere in public. The whispers, the stares.... I know it bothered my father and it made me VERY aware and extremely intolerant of anyone making fun of people with disabilities.

So, when Rush opened his big fat mouth recently and made those disgusting comments about Michael J. Fox, I thought that there was NO WAY my brother could defend this asshole anymore and that he'd FINALLY see the light about that piece of shit Limbaugh.

How wrong I was. Same old excuse making bullshit as always, but I guess that's the way your mind works when you're a fucking brainwashed Bush supporter :nuke:

Can somebody give me one good reason as to why I should even acknowledge his existence after today?

[olshak]

1. Not really...

...other than the fact that we can't choose our family.

Sorry you are having to deal with that.

[skygazer]

2. I don't know if it's a good reason

But... because he's your brother.

Which doesn't mean you have to agree with him, or shut up around him, or like what he says. Still, I've seen enough people regretting the fact that they cut off a member of their family after that person is gone to think that it's usually better to try to keep some sort of relationship with them. Often it doesn't seem like that will be the case but it so often is. Unless a family member has committed some horrible crime like abuse, I generally think one should try not to cut ties entirely.

[belladonna]

4. I've always tried to keep exactly what you say here in mind

Today, I'm having a really hard time with it. I mean, he was THERE.. he saw what my father went through. The tremors, the jerking and spasms, quite literally getting stuck in the middle of the floor and not being able to walk without one of us taking his hands and "getting him started again"... I could go on forever with the hell he went through every damn day, but you get the picture. I didn't exactly expect him to cross over and become a liberal over this one, but geez.... to DEFEND that fat fuck? I guess I'll have to wait until I cool down a little before I decide. Right now I'm so mad that I'm shaking :grr:

[cwydro]

3. my sister and I

had problems during the Reagan years...she is gay too, yet kept saying to me...so what? There are more important issues than AIDS.
Oh honey, that was a rough bunch of years. But now she has turned around and we're still friends. Like the other poster said...ya can't choose your family. And also, he may just be unable to climb down off his high horse. The male ego thing:eyes:

[cobalt1999]

5. I have brothers who are republicans...

I would never think to cut them off over politics. We just rarely discuss certain topics. As long as we stick to college football, fishing, boating, camping, our children, etc. we get along great.

Sounds like you're angry, not a good time to make decisions.

[wildhorses]

6. take a deep breath and let it out slowly--

love HIM not his opinions, keep practicing patience and tolerance :hug:

[crim son]

19. I'm wondering in what way "he" is not the sum of his attitudes

and opinions? I remember being told the same thing by a pastoral counselor years and years ago: hate the sin, but not the sinner. It sounds reasonable, but in practice it can be difficult, especially if the "sin" is committed every five minutes. Of course, I don't know how the gentleman in this case conducts himself when he's not discussing Limbaugh, so my comment is just a general one.

[belladonna]

20. In general, I guess he's an okay guy

He has been a good father and husband, mostly. One thing that does bug me is that he rarely visits my mother or talks to her on the phone, unless he needs something, of course. My youngest brother and my sister both live in Florida and she sees and talks to them more than she does him.

This is not exactly a new situation with him. We fight over politics and religion and I, for my part, have always TRIED to keep it fairly civil and I can't think of a time when I have ever put him down as a PERSON, only as a Republican. I have always respected his religious beliefs, although I don't agree with them.... AND I never bring up the fact that he's hypocritical as hell on the issue of religion. He, on the other hand, once told me, my youngest brother and my daughter that we had no morals and that we were going to burn in hell because we argued with him about some of the very unbelievable stories in the Bible; Noah's Ark was fun to tear apart :D:

I dunno... I just don't think I can forgive him this time. Everything else I tried to look over and write it off to his being a brainwashed Dittohead. This I just cannot look over... way too personal for me. Maybe in a year or two, or if hell freezes over and he comes to me and tells me that he was wrong. :shrug:

[crim son]

21. I had a fallout with my youngest sister after 2004.

It was over a political discussion, where she as a young and uninformed person, was spouting conservative propoganda she'd heard from my father, a repuke. It got ugly and we didn't communicate for about four months. Slowly our anger faded, and eventually she apologized to me for speaking without having the facts at her disposal. We are friends again. I hope the same for you.

[Arugula Latte]

24. Curious: How will she vote this time?

Do you know?

[crim son]

25. My guess is that she won't vote.

I don't think she votes. But do I know if she leans conservative or liberal these days? No. I don't ask, and she doesn't volunteer any information.

[nini]

7. He's your brother - but he's also a self-centered bigot.

I have disowned a brother and I will tell you it's easier than having to have their hatefulness pollute my life.

Let's hope he's not a victim of the same disease that killed your father..maybe then he'll see the light?

[belladonna]

9. It doesn't look like he'll be the one

I have another brother that I'm convinced has it... he's a Repub but not very vocal about it, so I'm able to get along with him okay. The brother I fought with though.. healthy as a horse.

I guess I'll wait until I cool down a bit, but I'm really feeling like this is the last straw with him... you're right, his hatefulness IS polluting my life. He called for the express reason of pissing me off about the upcoming election... looks like the guy I've been campaigning for locally, for the commonwealth attorney's seat, is screwed. He wanted to gloat about it, of course, so yeah... leaning towards banishing him from my life forever.

[nini]

11. Seriously.... let him go

at least for the near future. I speak from experience and I didn't really realize how much I was the one keeping the peace over the years with his nasty superiority (btw my brother is far left and Mr. Peace - though that doesn't apply to people in his life) . It's really not worth it. There's something deep inside people like that who can be so nasty to someone they are supposed to love.

He is entitled to whatever political views he wants - it's the nastiness over an issue that affected all of your lives the way it did that is unacceptable. It's not his political beliefs that you are upset over - it's his lack of compassion for a very painful part of your life. That lack of compassion and the associated nastiness is what the issue is - brother or not - I doubt you would choose friends like that.


:hug: I know how hard this is. Be strong - you'll be glad you did.

[Darth_Kitten]

15. Ask him why he's not respectful of the memory of his own father?

Family values and all.

Sorry, what does he have to gloat about? He's a jerk. :eyes:

[ronnykmarshall]

8. I can't think of an reason.

If he wants to defend that fat pig over your father's suffering then I think he's a lost cause.

[ikojo]

10. If this person was not your brother, would you

choose him as a friend? If he is that disrespectful to the memory of your dad, who suffered, then is he worthy of your time?

I don't hold family to be the end all and be all. They are people I am connected to only because we share the same parents.

[belladonna]

14. That's what is making this so hard

I was extremely close to my father... we all were, really, but I was probably closer to him than any of us. He was a wonderful father and handled everything with such GRACE... I think that's the word I'm looking for anyway. He was also a veteran of the Korean war and a pilot and, after he got sick, his life changed so drastically. Yet I cannot think of one instance when my father felt sorry for himself or stopped trying.

The fact that my brother can side with that pig over this just blows me away. He can follow Bush to hell for all I care... I don't agree with his politics, but I respect his right to be a damn Repug if that's what he believes in. But to blindly follow a vile pig like Limbaugh because Rush is on "their side"? Nope, it's just unforgiveable.

[Darth_Kitten]

16. Write this emotional leech off....

:hug:

negative energy just wears on your soul. :(

Too bad your brother didn't inherit your father's grace and class. :(

[texas1928]

12. Hey my sister does not talk to me...

All I did was call to tell her when our grandmother's funeral was. And I have not heard from her since.

[freethought]

13. I have had a similar experience with my own older brother

Circumstances are a little different, but the elements are the same. ME, my older brother, my late father who passed last year, and a serious difference of opinion about a particular situation. I really used to admire my elder brother up until 5 or so years ago when we had a series of confrontations that escalated in intensity each time. Finally, a little over a year ago he called me and my two sisters, one after the other, telling us this was the last time we would ever hear from him again. I tried to keep him on the line but he hung up.

For all intensive purposes I will not hear a single word from my brother for the next 3-4 years. That's the way it is.
I really don't have any advice since I don't even have any idea how to approach my own situation with my own brother.
I wish I has something better to say.
I am sorry.

[GardeningGal]

17. I can't.

My father also passed away from pneumonia caused by aspirating on a cookie. (He had Parkinson's.) I would never be able to forgive any sibling of mine that thought it was okay to make fund or or question Michael J. Fox.

[belladonna]

18. Sorry it took so long to reply... long, hard weekend with homework and the job

This is my biggest issue, the fact that it was such a personal thing. I loved my father SO much and had the deepest admiration and respect for him. For my brother to defend Limbaugh is just too much. I still haven't spoken to him and I'm not sure I will anytime soon, if ever. Thanks for sharing your experience and a big :hug: to you regarding your father.

[Name removed]

22. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[belladonna]

23. Wow, a deleted message?

I'd love to know what that one said, but alas, I came along too late to see. :shrug:

[dorktv]

26. Is the phrase "Honour Thy Father" in his vocabulary? Because this is

not honouring the memory of your father.

[belladonna]

27. Apparently not

I've been thinking a lot about this over the weekend. My brother also completely ignores the grave of his first born son, who was stillborn and is right next to my father's grave. There wouldn't even have been a headstone if the rest of the family hadn't gotten together to get one for him. My mother and I are the only one who put flowers on his grave or even acknowledge it's existence. I truly think it's time to write him off and move on. Sad, but true.

[dorktv]

34. Sad but then again, he made his choice.

[Generic Brad]

28. My heart goes out to you

I've been through a similar thing with my entire family which I am not up to explaining tonight. Too much pain and I have more important things to focus on right now.

But bottom line - you can survive just nicely without bigoted, judgmental people in your life. Would you willingly socialize with Freepers who enjoyed talking you down? I'm guessing not.

I cannot advise you on what to do because ultimately only you can decide if the price of cutting off contact with him is worth it to you or not.

[Lindsey]

31. How sad.....

The information on stem cell research is so misunderstood by most people. To me, if people knew that all we want to use will be thrown away it'd be a different ballgame. I just don't understand why people don't educate themselves. As far as your brother goes, my heart also goes out to you. All three of my siblings and I are progressives as well as our cousin (who's like another sister) and her husband. My sis and I speak almost daily and have gotten each other through many of the horrible political times these past six years. My only suggestion is for you and your brother to somehow just not discuss it. That's what I do with the people I work with who are freepers. Fortunately, there are others who are even more left than I am. Good luck......

[fujiyama]

29. Sometimes family members can be real ass holes

and I see nothing wrong with writing them off, at least temporarily.

I don't think you should go out of your way to try to make up with him. My two uncles had a similar dispute for some five years. Finally the ass hole brother realized his mistake and more or less stopped acting that way. They are on speaking terms now, but I think some bitterness will always endure.

I wouldn't cut off relations permanently with family members. You may find it possible to forgive later, but if he wants to be obnoxious, unreasonable, and an all around ass hole, then let him find the way - not necessarily to ask for forgiveness, but to the point where it's at least somewhat evident he has learned from his mistakes.

[Skittles]

30. I feel for you, belladonna

by the way, I have a severely autistic brother and experienced those hideous stares and whispers - it surely did help me develop my kickass personality - I remember when I was a kid saying to an asshole in a restaurant WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT?? And you are correct that sady, your brother displays the results of severe brainwashing. Very sad indeed.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

32. Rush Limbaugh will eventually turn into dust

or some sort of pool of a pudding-like fatty lipid i should say..and . one day - God willing sooner than later - he will be dead from the negativity that courses through his body, and the hillbilly heroin that destroyed his hearing and his body, and the pills that destroy his heart because he's a Mark Foley "Dominican Republican" if you get my drift.. . but one day Rush will be dead (cue trumpets and angelic hymn). i could really talk about that moment for couple more paragraphs it just sounds so good but i digress. . . Rush will die, and your brother will still be there. And I think that your dad wouldn't want you to fight with him over something like this - especially since you are so evidently in the right and your brother so evidently in the wrong. it is a symptom of Rush's poison to not admit being wrong, or weakness, or to be apologetic, or any such thing. what is there to fight over? that's why Rush is so outspoken - he has to be - because he's WRONG. to him, the issue has to be forced. you can just go along your merry way knowing youre in the right. that will speak volumes more then any fight or disowning. you have already won, and i'm sure your dad is proud of you. i'm also sure he wouldn't want division in his family. because i'm sure he unconditionally loved you both - and still does.

[spacelady]

33. How did your brother defend the physical mocking of a disability?

[jobycom]

35. I disowned a brother, sort of.

He was a foster brother, but I considered him a brother. He was also a rapist, thief, burglar, drug addict, dealer, pimp, con man, and I wouldn't be surprised if he left a few bodies before his untimely (though not really untimely) death. Two years after his death, I was still discovering horrors he had committed on people I love. I've never regretted not talking to him for the last twenty years of his life.

You have to decide whether your brother is that bad or not, I guess.