The Free Republic Membership Application

[pstokely]

First Name: (check appropriate box)


(_) Billie Bob
(_) Jim
(_) Hank
(_) Leroy
(_) Willy
(_) Buford


Last Name:


(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae


Age: ____


Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A


Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right





Occupation:


(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Asbestos Worker
(_) Belt Buckle Manufacturer
(_) Un-employed


Spouse's Name: __________________________



Relationship with spouse:


(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet



Number of children living in household: ___


Number that are yours: ___



Mother's Name: _______________________


Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)



Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)




Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?



___ Total number of vehicles you own


___ Number of vehicles that still crank


___ Number of vehicles in front yard


___ Number of vehicles in back yard


___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks




Firearms you own and where you keep them:


____ truck


____ bedroom


____ bathroom


____ kitchen


____ shed





Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_



Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:


(_)The National Enquirer


(_)The Globe


(_)TV Guide


(_)Soap Opera Digest




___ Number of times you've seen a UFO


___ Number of times you've seen Elvis


___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO




How often do you bathe:


(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable



Color of teeth:


(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A



Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:


(_) Red-Man



How far is your home from a paved road?


(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know





Organizations that you belong to: (Check all that are applicable)


(_) NRA
(_) KKK
(_) NHRA



Number of tractor pulls you've been to this month :


(_) <5
(_) 5-10
(_) 11-15
(_) Can't count



Beverage of choice:


(_) Night Train
(_) Blind Dog Bourbon
(_) Cousin Cletus' Moonshine (Non-Commercial)
(_) Schlitz Beer
(_) Gasoline



Number of Skoal Belt Buckles You Own:____


Brand of Jeans you prefer:

(_) Wranglers



Do you play the banjo? (_) Yes

[Jackpine Radical]

1. Tell the truth.

Did you steal that from Foxworthy?

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. Can we lose the mobile-home stereotype?

Thanks.

[lildreamer316]

3. OK. My family is farmers, and I like mechanics. Other than that, it's funny.

...and people wonder why the rural folks don't like "them libruls".
Sigh.

When did it become a crime to be a cowboy or a farmer or a mechanic and be liberal?

I really want to laugh,but I'm just tired of the country crowd and those that have a similar lifestyle being ridiculed here. If you want their vote, don't marginalize them. They are some of the most honest people you'll ever meet. What is the problem with that?

This is not a personal attack. The above is funny in a way. Sorry; I'm just a bit sensitive to these things.

[SacredCow]

4. Isn't it ironic...

How all humans seem to thrive on ridiculing anyone not like them?

[lildreamer316]

6. Yes.

Further confirmation of this: My husband just called from his dj job to tell me someone is running around the club saying he does not have a child/is not the father of my child.

I now want to kick someone's ass. Seriously.

Breathing...........

[tinfoil tiaras]

5. you forgot about the portapotties!!!

:D :D

1_ 2_ 3_ 4_ 5_ >5_
portapotties in your
(_)front yard
(_)back yard