My experience with gay rights

[Maraya1969]

I have been having a fruitless email conversation with a man I know. He is such a Republican but I somehow thought I could sway him by erroneously thinking that he had a heart. Here is a part of the last email I received from him.


"Ripping apart the constitution began when you left wing judges began legislating from the bench and and started rewriting the dictionary. The same 'Visionaries' who decide words such as 'marriage' as it was defined just simply isn't in step with today's times - poop! Those radical subversives who got their hands on a grand document and said 'well, lookie here, those stupid American' just put on paper their own demise - we can bring this entire thing down under the guise of 'freedom' itself."

Many people here might not know that I bisexual and lived an exclusively gay live for many years. Here is my response to that man.


"Well I can finally see why you are so loyal to you party. You hate homosexuals. You don't want them to have any equality in this country. Let me tell you something.

I had a relationship for 8 years in my late 20's and 30's and her name was Candy. I had never before nor ever since loved someone as much as her. Candy was Bipolar like me and she had a drug problem that was very much a symptom of it. In 1994 she went to a hospital to detox off of heroin. She had listed me as her "contact" person. The night that she went in I called her on the pay phone and she sounded terrible and I was horribly worried so I hung up with her and called the nurse's station. Their reply to me was: "We don't know who you are and we can't give you any information out about her" I kept telling them that I did not want information I wanted someone to check on her. But they would not listen to me and kept telling me that they could not talk to me because they did not know who I was. (Had I been her husband I am sure things would have been much different.)This went on for several minutes until I was at the point of hysteria when a nurse got on the phone and told me she would check on Candy.

So I felt relieved and I went to bed. That was on Monday. I called her again on Tuesday, (on the pay phone) and I was told by a fellow patient that she was not there. When I asked where she was the woman did not know so I hung up and called the nurse's station again. They then told me that Candy had collapsed and was taken to the ICU of a local hospital. That hospital was nice to me and let me stay by her side the whole time. I even rented a hotel room close by so I could stay with her as much as possible. She had a breathing tube down her throat and could not talk and she was put into a sort of semi coma to keep her still. She could communicate sometimes by blinking her eyes but most of the time she was not very conscious. Six weeks went by and one day she turned her head to me with that breathing tube down her throat and mouthed the words, "I love you" so clearly that I jumped up off of my seat next to her and started telling her all the plans I had for us when she got out. Two days later she was dead.

I have always wondered how things would have been different had I been allowed to speak freely with that first nurse about how they were treating her and if any information I had could have been of help. But that didn't happen.

And another thing happened that brought to light how cruel and Incompassionate people can be. My own brother is a Presbyterian Minister and of course he is against gay marriage and gay rights. He even campaigned to keep gays from being allowed to be ministers while I was living with Candy.

So the night she died and after I spent hours at her family's house sobbing uncontrollable I came home and called my brother. It was about 11pm and my sister in law answered the phone and was very nice and comforting to me. However about 5 minutes after we hung up my brother called back as said: "How dare you call this late at night and wake us all up!" I was stunned and hung up the phone. He considers himself a Republican conservative. I don't know if he has labeled himself a "compassionate" one.

So you know what Herb? If you want to be a Republican and a bigot I don't care. I don't think we want you on this side anyway. I know I don't."

[Elidor]

1. A very sad and touching story

:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss.

Herb is just mouthing the catchphrases he has been taught. At no time was his humanity involved in his words. Maybe he has none. Maybe he keeps it locked in a box in his sock-drawer, only to be taken out when no one is looking.

[crim son]

2. You, Maraya, we want on our side.

Herb is a hopeless case. Sweetie, it's not even worth the effort. :pals: :hug: I'm so, so sorry about Candy.

[Maraya1969]

3. I still cry. I'm crying now. Is the normal? I sometimes feel like it

just happened.

[crim son]

4. What is normal?

You feel deeply about this. My god, so you should. I have come to the conclusion that half of the human population is missing something critical that allows them to understand and empathize with their fellow human beings. The other half weeps. You are right and the Herbs of this world are wrong. Maybe some day their sort will be obsolete, if there is anything to this "evolution" thing, no? I wish there were some way to ease your pain. -Lisa

[VeggieTart]

5. I am so saddened by your story...

...both of the loss of your partner and of your brother's insensitivity.

The judges' ruling is NOT "legislating from the bench," but interpreting the Constitution, which is their fucking job. And their interpretation of the 14th Amendment says that "all citizens" means all citizens, including gay men and lesbians.

[Skittles]

6. he got that shit from a dittomaster

the codewords are all there - give it up my sweet, this guy is brainwashed beyond help