giving to street people - a question (NOT a "yay me" thing - give me NO

[bertha katzenengel]

such responses.)

This morning I dropped money into the box of a man in a wheelchair. It was raining. I asked him if I could get him an umbrella. He said no but the drugstore he was in front of had ponchos for a buck. I went in to get him one. There were no $1 ones but I got him one anyway.

While I was in there another homeless man came in and came up to me and asked if I had a quarter. I didn't but I gave him a buck. So he stood in line behind me and when I was done w/ my purchase he walked up and bought a cigar.

??

Whenever I have cash on me I always give to the homeless. Perhaps I was taken in by the second guy but I don't care. Strange for an atheist, but I kinda believe the homeless are angels on earth.

But most of all: who am I to judge who wants to use me and who really needs help? If I err at all in assuming that everyone needs help, so be it. I will hit some folks who really need it.

Your take? The guy in the wheelchair? The guy who bought the cigar?

Dear lurking freepers: would Jesus say "I work for my money!" or would he say "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Oops, I forgot. He DID say that.

[Lars39]

1. Self-worth and small joys are priceless.

:hug:

[Little Wing]

2. So is smoking a cigar when there's a good chance that the party

whose policies are part of the reason why you're homeless, just got kicked the hell out of office. ;-)

[EstimatedProphet]

3. My feelings are mixed

I usually do give money to them. Sometimes I give material things. I got a guy groceries once.

However, I've had a bad experience that pissed me off. In the New Orleans train station I was approached once buy a guy who rattled off a rehearsed spiel about being a displaced vet. I gave him a few bucks. 5 minutes later he came back, and said the exact thing. I was pissed off, but I gave him a few bucks more. 5 minutes later he came back and started again. I just looked at him. He then started yelling at me that I should just give him some money.

So, sometimes I don't like to give them money.

[skygazer]

4. I do not judge the way people use a gift

As soon as it leaves my hand, it no longer belongs to me. Besides, I can't begrudge any person a little pleasure - if a cigar brings that man pleasure, who am I to say he should buy a sandwich instead?

I've been poor and I've been homeless. There's an incredible amount of stress that goes along with living from minute to minute. When people sleep under a bridge and endure the cruel comments of strangers, it's no wonder they may smoke or drink. It's hard enough to give up those habits when you have a comfortable home, a job, a family. How much harder is it when you have nothing at all?

People often judge the homeless in my area. I consider them my neighbors. Some of them may appear able-bodied but I don't think they're capable of getting or keeping a job because they have mental illness issues, or substance abuse issues. Those are real problems and it's not simply a case of "pulling oneself up by the bootstraps." As I said, hard enough to deal with those things in ideal circumstances.

We all need help occasionally. I commend your compassion and your lack of judgment.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

6. Thats always been my view.

While I've never been in a situation where I was living pacheck to paycheck or being actually homeless, I do agree 100%

[Gormy Cuss]

9. I share your view, skygazer

Once the gift is out of my hands, it doesn't belong to me. I've probably been conned a few times but for the sake of a buck or so it won't keep me up at night. Besides, I think it really is nice to think that the gentleman who bought a cigar was indulging in a little pleasure after hearing about the election result.

[Whoa_Nelly]

5. You are a kind person, bk

Hope all went well today for your interview! :hi:

[astral]

7. I see nothing wrong with him buying the cigar

you give a homeless man a buck, what's he gonna do? Save up for a nice suit so he can get himself a good job? A cigar is a moment he can have pleasure in the Present that He Is In. Aaaah, he can savor the taste, feel the nicotine, maybe even curb his appetite for his next meal for awhile which he doesn't have the money to buy anyway.

Many times people want me to give them money for a cup of coffee. That's what they say they want, is a buck for a cup of coffee. I'd rather see that than them stuck scrounging up money for alcohol while they still got it on their breath from their last drink / drunk.

Some people do make a lifestyle choice of bumming. Some people get quite good at it. They make as much money as I do working, on their good days at least.

But who are we to judge? There but for the Grace of God go you or I in the future but then again if we are still alive and there is a human being out there willing to hand us a buck, we are still in the Grace of God.

The down and out homeless people remind us the world isn't a perfect place, or even a very pretty place, for a huge percentage of the human beings on the planet. The Haves and the Have Nots. Whose fault is it? The American Way tells us anybody can pick themselves up by their own bootstraps and work for a living if they want to. Even if it's hard work for little pay, you gotta start somewhere.

Right? Well, today's world is a little different. There's not A Job or A Niche out there for every single one of us displaced and left on the sidelines by the human race.

We got people flooding in from Mexico to take all those jobs nobody wants. Look at the homeless street people and tell me some of them wouldn't want those jobs. If they're a U.S citizen they're barred from being hired if the job pays less than minimum wage.

Ranting a bit off-topic here . . . . or am I?

[bertha katzenengel]

10. Off-topic, astral? Nope. I don't think so at all.

:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. i think when you are homeless you have a right to be on drugs and alcohol

society has abandoned you..and what do you have to lose anyway?

so yeah if i give someone a buck and they spend it on crack...so be it..its hardly like the person could invest it wisely and buy a home..

you are very nice bertha.

[datasuspect]

20. i feel ya

that's pretty much the case, i wouldn't be one to lay some puritan work ethic jive on a brother with no crib.

when i used to drink, i frequented a bar that had a liquor store attached to it, and the western ave bus stop right out in front.

before it got yupped out and before they built cinder block condos across from it, lots of homeless dudes would nurse 1.25 draft beers there.

i was a cheap drunk, so i would bankroll some of those guys sometimes.

chinese joint was on the other side, and we'd all scrounge and get some fried feast together.

it was pretty tight.

there was this one guy ray. about 80. had a pension, social security. once a month his daughter would come out from the suburbs and clean him up for a week (around check time) and then he'd come back and blow his nut on booze.

anyway, he looked like santa claus - a towering old german man, worked construction all his life, still had vitality in his dotage and alcoholism.

me and him got plastered the one night, and i torqued my ankle pretty bad.

it's 2:30 am on a weeknight, he says, "come on ya motherfucker" and proceeds to carry me on his back to the corner of western and lawrence. where he flags down a cop. in the middle of the street. to give me a ride home.

god i miss ray.

[VeggieTart]

11. I'm really loath to give them money

But if I have food, I will give it to them. I always have these Larabars or Luna bars or some such. Some people thank me. I've had one person say he'd rather get his own food, and I politely said that I really don't give money out.

One time a woman asked for money to get food. We got to talking somehow, and she said she wanted to get a hot dog. I said, oh, I can't do that. And she says that she's not a bad person. I said, I know, but I'm a vegetarian. So she asked if I would get her some chips. I got her chips and a bottle of water.

I understand they're in a horrible situation, but I'd rather not subsidize alcohol or cigar consumption. Granted, chips are not healthy, but at least it partially fills someone's belly. And the meal bars are not perfect, but they're better than nothing.

[blondeatlast]

12. Life sucks enough for those who have to ask strangers for money.

Buy a sandwich, buy a Thunderbird, buy a smoke, I couldn't care less what they do when I give them a buck.

Ya did good (sorry--couldn't resist! :spank:)

[dback]

13. I always assume that they're Jesus in disguise, testing me

Hence the thing in the Bible about "Whenever you showed compassion to the least of my brothers, you did it to me," etc. It's only a little change; what the hell, y'know?

[TheBaldyMan]

14. better to give and be suckered than not to give at all IMHO. n/t

[hfojvt]

15. How do you know either of them is homeless

The Minnesota Daily did a story on a math professor once and included a picture. My roommate saw the picture and said "I've seen him around campus, but I thought he was one of the derelicts."

I hardly ever have money on me, although I always have some in the bank. I try to help people out other ways. I hate the idea of giving somebody money so they can buy drugs with it. To me, that is clearly not somebody who NEEDS help.

Who am I to judge? Well, it's my money. Should I empty my savings account, or just my pockets so other people can buy things that I do not buy for myself (yes I buy lots of things for myself that I don't NEED, such as these computers, but not as many things as I could)? Where does this stop if I am not allowed to judge how I spend, or give away my own money? So I turn on the TV and TBN is asking for money. Send them a check. Who am I to judge if they need the money, or if they are using the money for worthwhile purposes?

I guess it is moot for me anyway. I rarely have cash on me, and I do not see alot of homeless. Don't wanna discourage you from helping, but you did ask, and seemed to cast aspersions on people who would not do what you do.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Aww

I was a street kid and I used to panhandle before it was as common, before I pulled my head out of my ass and got an education and a job. Very few of us from back then made it. I understand the mind set, and the subculture.

So I have a soft spot. I don't judge at all. If I have some change I'll give it, If I don't I don't. Drunk, sober, carrying signs with lies or the truth on them, I don't care. I've given change, candy, a extra sandwich--whatever's handy. I've given a warm coat to a crack head prostitute. She looked like she needed it. Gets cold on the street. She might have had 10 coats for all I know.

As long as no one tries to be intimidating--now THAT pisses me off, because I understand that mindset as well, but I live in a city where it doesn't happen that often.

[Lethe]

17. if i lived on the street, i would certainly buy alcohol or whatever

i never give homeless people money, but i will share alcohol.

what else do you think they are gonna get to make them happy, they already are at the bottom of the barrel. The pavement is hard as hell, and they need something to soften it up.

[bertha katzenengel]

18. Is it your view that every homeless person I give to will use it for liquor?

Including the woman at the off-ramp with her two kids asleep in the bushes a hundred feet away?

[datasuspect]

21. "hook a brother up"

i would buy a homeless dude booze in a heartbeat.

if i still drank, i'd probably drink it with them.

[querelle]

19. Tough Call

It depends on my mood. I can be generous to the homeless some days, but also a callous uncaring asshole on others. I don't feel good about myself when I walk past these people without giving anything. I can't even look them in the eyes and it makes me feel worse.

Q

[MissMillie]

22. Bertha, you keep doing whatever your heart tells you

When I give, I give and leave it at that. If a $1 cigar gives someone some happiness, then so be it. The poor deserve happiness too. Once the money is out of my hands, the decision on how it's spend it out of my hands too, and I understand that when I give it.



You have a good heart. There's no reason to second guess yourself.

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

23. A gift not given freely becomes a debt.

I give all the time. I don't care how the person uses the money or the gift because I have given it to them to do with as they please.

[hedgehog]

24. Whenever I give money to someone, I tell my kids I saw Jesus today.

What they do with the money is their concern.I'm always a little worried about enabling an alcoholic, but on the other hand, if they're so far down they're living on the street, better that they have the money to buy alcohol than that they drink radiator fluid or try to steal to get their fix. Worst case, someone is hustling strangers by pretending to be in need. What kind of life is that? They are in worse shape than the poorest alcoholic/ schizophrenic living on the street. They have no concept of compassion.