Man Tries To Launch Firework Out His Ass - Hospitalized

[matcom]

:rofl:

<snip>

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

'Beyond belief'

Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.

"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wear/6132140.stm

[BlueIris]

1. Oh, sweet Lord. Some people. And the Darwin Awards folks better be

all over this.

[eppur_se_muova]

63. My favorite Darwin awards story (particularly for sci/tech geeks) ...

http://www.darwinawards.com/personal/personal2000-25.html

In the second week of school, the society of physics students held a roughly annual welcome back party. As tradition dictates, we made our own ice cream with liquid nitrogen, 77? Kelvin, as a refrigerant and aerator. We spilled a little liquid nitrogen onto a table and watched the tiny little drops dance around. Someone asked, "Why does it do that?" That may have been the point of no return.

As is traditionally my role, I answered that the nitrogen evaporates at the surface of the table, which creates a cushion of air for the drop to sit on, and thermally insulates the drop, which minimizes further evaporation. That's why a drop dances around without boiling, without touching the table, and without spreading out like a pool of water.

Then I continued. I mentioned that the very same principle makes it possible to dip one's wet hand into molten lead, or drink liquid nitrogen without injury. I had done the latter several years earlier in a cryogenics lab, and remembered the physics of how it worked.
***
I woke up the next morning connected to beeping machines. It turns out that, in accordance with popular belief, you really should not drink liquid nitrogen.
***
I also learned that my memory was flawed. When I had done the trick six years ago, I put it into my mouth and didn't swallow. Over time, that fine line between parlor trick and fatal accident must have blurred.

[LynneSin]

2. Matcom, I know you were happy you could finally marry your box turtle

but geez, couldn't you find a better way to celebrate?

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

3. What did he do?

Put it in backwards?

[TheBaldyMan]

60. well he's a Geordie so ... it's a toss up.

on edit :

Those Black Cat brand fireworks are illegally imported from China every year - they are absolutely brilliant, we are talking Big Bang. The guy was lucky he still has an arse left.

[madinmaryland]

4. Can we say....

a******e!!!!

[QMPMom]

8. Well, somehow I don't think he has one of those any more! n/t

[jakefrep]

13. He has one....

...but it's a lot bigger than it used to be.

[madinmaryland]

24. He ripped himself a new one!!

[Left Brain]

40. Hmmm...

brings a new meaning to "ripped one off," too. :)

The moran was definitely screwn.

[TheBaldyMan]

61. as we say in Britain - he'll have an arse like a Clown's Pocket

[xchrom]

5. you talked him into this, didn't you matcom?

[DrDan]

6. glad to see there are Republicans in the UK

[LuLu550]

7. Please do not try this at home!

This guy was a trained professional.

[anarch]

9. no way, you mean that's not safe!!??!?

But...but...the fireworks box didn't specifically say "do not launch out of butthole." I don't get it. :shrug:

[Montauk6]

10. Are we taking bets on a lawsuit against the Black Cat company?

[LynneSin]

14. Perhaps they need the type of warnings my Lunesta has

Do not operate heavy machinery while using this medication.

It's fricking sleeping pills - what dumb fuck would do that?

[sarge43]

36. "what dumb fuck would do that?"

Difficult to say, but someone who might stick a rocket up his ass and fire it?

Work an ER on a Saturday night, full moon weekend is best. It's wall to wall Bush supporters.

[achtung_circus]

37. Probably the same dumbfuck

who required the labeling on the rat poison I bought yesterday. Apparently it contains wheat as a base and a bait and someone felt it necessary to tell the world that the product contained gluten.

Wouldn't want to trigger someone's intolerance, would we?

[Hand]

17. Count on it...

"Yer honor, the label on this rocket sez only 'Do not hold in hand.' It clearly fails to say 'Do not hold in rectum...'"

"Yer honor, clearly the defendant could not anticipate this degree of stupidity in its customers. I mean, jamming a rocket up his ASS??"

"Irrelevant, yer honor! The defendant a priori failed t'warn against the potential harm congruent to rectally-based launching. Further more..."

"Yer honor, the dignity of the court is bein' harmed by yer laughter... plainly you cannot discharge yer duties while roling on the floor. Yer honor... ?"

:rofl:

[Montauk6]

19. You're laughin', Hand, but it's sad and true...

All those RIDICULOUS warnings (don't put pets in a microwave, the no-left-turn signs on freeway entrance ramps, etc.) are, IIRC, the result of some bonehead who did it AND THEN sued!

[Hand]

22. If I laugh, 'tis only that I do not weep.

Know what you mean--I've seen bags of wood stove pellets prominently marked "NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION." It's a race to the bottom.

[sarge43]

35. My fave (may be apocryphal)

Warning sign on baby strollers: Remove child before folding stroller.

The 'stroller' was added at the end because (yes) the manufacturer's sharks were afraid that the kid would be folded after s/he was removed from the stroller.

[Hand]

42. Sounds completely credible. nt

[sarge43]

48. It does, doesn't it.

And my favorite Far Side cartoon: An ape man falls out of a tree and crashes to the ground. Caption: The Dawn of Man. Closer to the truth than Kubrick's version, I'm sure.

[Little Wing]

65. Unlikely, it's England. The sytem there requires the loser pays

I think we've identified the loser.

[LaraMN]

11. So DS1's keeping out of trouble, alright...

Been wondering what he's been up to!

:P

[grizmaster]

12. oh..... my..... god

[AngryAmish]

15. You can have my fireworks when you pull it from my cold, dead

nevermind

[KamaAina]

16. "I'm a rocket man..."

An occasional DUer has some hilarious parody lyrics to the Elton John classic, which he performs in NYC's Central Park. They revolve around the next line, which, it turns out, is actually "Burnin' out my fuse up here alone".

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines...

[Dukkha]

18. was it Rumsfeld?

:rofl:

sounds like his type of strategy

[Jamastiene]

20. A scorched colon, ouch!!!

You just can't make ths kind of shit up.

[youthere]

47. Scorched colon...now I bet that's a unique smell.

[NewWaveChick1981]

21. This gives new meaning to the term "JackASS"...

:rofl: Scorched colon??? :yoiks: No thanks... :(

[hippywife]

26. Or the phrase

Blow it out yer ass!

[hedgehog]

23. But how much was he drinking!?!?! And what frat does he belong to?

They leave out all the critical details.

[Shine]

25. OMG, what an idiot!! Talk about an explosive dump...

:wow:

[Deja Q]

27. This doesn't even qualify for "natural selection"!

:spray:

I shouldn't be laughing, but sheesh! :rofl:

[Elidor]

28. Notice that Matcom doesn't even bother denying that he had anything to do with it

"Dude, you're not drunk. If you were drunk, you'd shoot this bottle rocket out of your ass! But you're not drunk enough to do that, are you?"

Scorched colon: there is more suffering packed into those two words...

[matcom]

30. "I double-dog dared him!"

:rofl:

[sarge43]

29. That fool will be lucky

if he doesn't wind up wearing a colostomy bag for the rest of his life - if he survives.

[struggle4progress]

31. Oughta be a clinical name fer this: "auto-rocketic ass fixia" or sumthin

[sarge43]

32. Some ER doc has a guaranteed Journal of British Medicine

article, for sure.

[struggle4progress]

33. Yeah, but it will have a boring title: "Post-Surgery Infection Managemert

Protocols in the Treatment of Extensive Rectal Burn Injury"

[sarge43]

34. True, but s/he could subtitle it

That Idiotic Arse Rocket Trauma You Heard About on the Beeb. That should goose sales (pardon the pun).

[Richard Steele]

38. I think we may have just found the legendary "Fifth Bush Boy"...nm

[sarge43]

41. That's a keeper.

:spray:

[Initech]

39. Definately a future Darwin Award contender!

:rofl:

[Hand]

43. His last words...

"But... but... they only told me I shouldn't have done it that other time. They never said not to do it again..." :rofl:

[matcom]

62. or they could have been....

"Here, hold my beer"

:rofl:

[Blue_Tires]

44. he did it to impress the chicks!

[sarge43]

46. Oh that's right. Always blame the women.

:rofl:

[gardenista]

45. Well, good think he didn't have chili for dinner. Could have been worse.

[youthere]

49. "Bored" and "Out of Beer"-always a dangerous combination.

[Dude_CalmDown]

50. OK - you have to see this video

Click Me

[Scooter24]

51. Check this vid out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33PnwYpXgf8

:rofl:

[Ptah]

52. K & R

Kaboom and Rectum

[barb162]

53. what an idiot

[DBoon]

54. But most important of all

Are the naughty bits still intact?

Remeber a man's brain is only his second favorite organ...

[MnFats]

55. I want a ruling from Snopes.com on this.

it's beyond the pale, esp. the methane comment.
you sure this isn't from the Weekly World News?

[The Straight Story]

56. Who needs snopes on this - here is a video of similar act

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8jKje5Em54

[MnFats]

58. Yeee! shoulda taken your word for it...

....that is nasty. hope that guy didn't plan on having kids...

[Xipe Totec]

57. Oh wow, Deja BOOM!

This is not the first time this has happened.

[otherlander]

59. It's nature's way of stopping idiots from reproducing.

But seriously.
That guy is screwn.

[Little Wing]

64. Now with picture goodness

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/11/10/bumfire,0.jpg

[Cerridwen]

66. Well, at least he left the neighborhood frogs alone...n/t

[4morewars]

67. If I were to stick a rocket up my ass,

you can bet your ass, tape would have been rolling.