Buddy of mine got kicked to the curb on one date

[pokerfan]

He's been doing the internet dating thing. Here's the Dear John letter:

There is one thing that I have discovered about myself, no matter how attractive, sweet or funny a man is, if I cant look up to see his eyes or reach up to put my arms around his neck, it will never go past the first meeting.Don't get me wrong, you are a very nice man, but...... So I will have to send you on your way because of height. But thank you for making me laugh, and if you should have a growth spert some time soon give me another wink.

Seems a little shallow getting dumped for height but I guess it's better than getting dumped for length. I usually get dumped for volume.

[Phillycat]

1. Gosh, that's mean, but I might do the same thing.

I have a height fetish. I've never dated anyone under 6'. People can't help who they're attracted to. :shrug:

That said, I would never actually say that to someone. Some vague letdown seems kinder.

[Left Is Write]

3. I agree. Her faux pas wasn't on letting down someone she's not attracted to...

it was her phrasing. She can't help her preferences, but he can't help his height either.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

4. I'm 6'4"

Wanna go out? :loveya:

[Phillycat]

7. LOL!

My 6'2" SO's working out for me, I think. :D Thanks though! :loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

8. I do!

Oh crap...nevermind

Oh fuck, I forgot no one wants me anyway.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

24. You're completely wrong about that

EVERY man wants a BarenakedLady for their very own!! :evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

25. Evidentally

That statement is not true.

[RoccoR5955]

27. Join the club

Nobody wants me either. It's hard to date when you look like a cross between Freddy Kruger and Elmer Fudd.

[BarenakedLady]

34. Cool

Let's start the loser club. I'll be the Queen of the Losers.

[billyskank]

11. Drat

I'm a shortarse. :(



;)

[Phillycat]

12. We'll always have Paris.

:cry:

[Bullwinkle925]

2. I don't get the bit about the 'growth spurt'??

:shrug:

[reyd reid reed]

5. Heh...not 'growth spurt'

She said 'growth spert'

He can do MUCH better.

[Bullwinkle925]

13. I know - I was assuming she meant 'spurt' - I still don't get it,

but I agree, he can do much better.

[pokerfan]

16. I think it was intended as a joke

as he is in his fifties. The spelling was all hers though.

[Momgonepostal]

17. I think she means she likes him, but...

would only go out with him again if he were to grow a few inches. Dork.

[AntiWarPoster]

6. I can't date a girl taller than I am

I have petty confidence issues.

[SoyCat]

9. It really isn't shallow. Many people are comfortable with

certain physical characteristics and very uncomfortable with others. I'd be very uncomfortable with a very tall man even though I'm just over 5'9" and as a result, I married a man who is 5'10". I find it comforting that we can stand and look into each others eyes. And, it is beneficial in the bedroom.:evilgrin:

[idgiehkt]

32. the thing is, she knew it up front.

it sounds weird to me. Go out with someone who isn't your physical ideal, then dump them because of it? I did this once, when I was out of food and someone asked me out for dinner. I was hungry. That was my motive. But I didn't tell the woman that her physical features made me not want to go out with her again...so strange. And it wasn't so much her features as her personality, but that's a different story.

[SoyCat]

39. Knowing it up front makes all the difference in the world but

having that preference is a person's right. It could have been handled differently; however, rudeness seems to be the current norm in the dating world. Oh how glad I am that I'm happily married!

[Westegg]

10. Harsh toke indeed. But I gotta ask....

...How tall she, how short he? I'm 5 foot 10. I once dated a woman who was 6'1". It wasn't a problem. I dated a woman who was five feet at most-- again, not a problem, except that the taller-man thing is obviously far more common.

[pokerfan]

He's around 5-10

Taller than her but needed him to be a lot taller I guess. She should have read his profile more closely.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

42. Only 5 - 10 and dumped ?

Wow

[Momgonepostal]

14. What a bitch

LOL...at getting dumped for "volume." I have volume issues as well, so never felt like I could be picky about height.

[Phillycat]

15. One more question...

Did he lie about his height on his profile?

[pokerfan]

19. Nope, profile was accurate

He's long past the BSing stage. What would be the point?

He also has a bald spot and once had a first date ask him to his face, "how he can stand walking around in public like that?"

I guess he just draws the brutally honest types.

[Deja Q]

18. Aren't humans lovely?

[pokerfan]

20. Kiss My Shiny Metal Ass!

Great avatar:

[Deja Q]

29. I'm not into metal, but I'll kiss just about any part of you!

:rofl:

Thanks for the avatar! Who doesn't love Bender? :D

[johnnie]

21. That's pretty typical

I've always been on the shorter side of heights and even though most women say it doesn't matter, I have been around long enough to know that's crap..lol

I don't mind being 5'5", but a lot of other people do. Hey, I'm 42 years old and still hear short jokes.. I wish someone would come up with some new ones already.

But, that's too bad for your buddy. And I can relate, I have my own preferences in women I would consider dating. One is, having someone consider dating me..lol.

[CAcyclist]

33. Hey, your height wouldn't be a problem in my book

I'm 5'6" and height doesn't matter much to me, if anything I prefer them shorter - I've dated guys that were 5'3" and guys who were 6'3".

[Trigger Hippie]

22. Funny,

I prefer shorter guys. ;)

[AngryAmish]

23. I'm a short guy

I don't mind the honesty.

Just to stir the pot a bit, I wonder the reaction around here would be if a guy said to a lady that she was too heavy/thick/etc to date more than once?

[distantearlywarning]

28. I'm a "thick" girl.

I was just talking about this issue the other night with someone.

I think the problem is not with individual preferences, but the "moral value" placed on physical type. I think it's ok for a woman to refuse to date a short man because she likes tall guys. I also think it's ok for a guy to refuse to date a heavy woman because he likes the skinny ones.

The problem comes when the motive is hurtful rather than just a personal preference. Like if I thought all short guys were mentally defective and said so to their face, or implied it when I dumped them. Or if a guy thinks that a few extra pounds on a woman is an indication that she has some kind of major character flaw, and says so when he dumps her or implies it.

There's a big difference between "I just prefer taller guys" and "I can't go out with a shrimp because all my friends would laugh at me for being with such a pathetic loser."

Similarly, there's a difference between "I like skinny girls" and "That fat cow is good for nothing more than giving me a blow job". (And yes, I read that on an internet site once as a reason why some guy wasn't going to date a particular girl.)

The first is just disappointing, the second is incredibly hurtful and unfair, and indicates that the person is probably not very beautiful on the inside.

Just one bigger girl's opinion...

[Shine]

26. Hey, at least she was upfront about it. We all have our own preferences.

I personally think it's admirable that she "sent him on his way" after only the first date, as opposed to telling him this several dates later.

Sometimes the truth hurts. That's life in the big city.

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

30. She's an asshole. He should send her a thank you note.

There's no reason for that kind of brutal honesty. Seriously, he needs to thank her, anyone who would think that kind of crap is appropriate is someone it's better to be rid of. Were it me, I'd be tempted to send her a card saying 'no prob, you're fat and ugly', or something equally biting. Being that it was on his profile to begin with...man, the people who are using the b-word about her are right on the mark.

The most beautiful (physically) person I have ever dated, and probably ever will, was a guy that was not much taller than me. I never knew his exact height, but I recently found a picture of him standing next to one of my brothers who is 5'9" tall and he was a couple inches shorter so maybe 5'6" or 5'7". He was just a gorgeous specimen of a human being; he had thick brown hair that hung in ringlets almost, in the shower it would straighten out and reach his waist but dry it was just below his shoulders, beautiful blue eyes, a gorgeous jawline, and on top of that he was completely hysterical to be around, he had kind of a British sense of humor because his step-dad was British and they lived in England for a while, he was like a walking rendition of Monty Python/Fawlty Towers.

I understand some people have physical ideals of who they want to be with. I have mixed feelings about that, because my last relationship was with what I would have considered to be mine, and not surprisingly the relationship never had alot of depth. I loved her, and we had a lot of passion, but no real connection.

[crim son]

31. She can't spell "spurt" so she was no darned good anyway.

I couldn't be with somebody shorter than I am, period, and I've tried in the past to overcome that prejudice. I can't.

[Radical Activist]

35. "send you on your way"

What an ass. Still, most women are that way about height and at least she doesn't dishonestly swear up and down that such things don't matter.

[av8rdave]

36. It is pretty shallow, but at least

she had the courtesy to show her shallowness early and save him future time, expense and heartache.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

37. i would never have stated that...but i can totally understand it

i wont date beyong a weight range...its just what i am attracted to..

[GOPisEvil]

38. Yeah, hey, thanks for making me feel like shit about something I have no control over.

Guess I'll take my short ass down the road and find someone who isn't so fucking shallow.


That would be my response. Or at least what I'd WANT to respond.

[Haole Girl]

40. She needs a "growth spert" in her brain.

BTW, the word is spurt....what a creep! :thumbsdown:

[Godhumor]

41. One of the handicaps of being short...

We also tend to be overlooked for prmotions more often, people don't respect our authority as much, etc.

I'm 5'8", and I've only been flat out rejected due to height once in my life--from a woman who was taller than me (Honestly, I can understand that feeling.). I'm a competitive swimmer, so I have the whole "lean muscle" thing going on, and it tends to make me look skinny, as well--for some reason, short and not bulky can produce an adverse reaction in people.

Of course, everything ended well--I've been married over 3 years now and very happily at that. My wife is also a shortie--she's 5'1" (She's also Japanese, which just happens to be a trait I'm attracted to, heh.), and we have no ends of fun.

[Bucky]

43. There are times when lying is appropriate.

What a selfish little twerp. She's making her hang ups sound like his fault. What a shithead. If she's gonna have these hang ups (and we all got 'em) she needs to lie about it. She wasn't saying "but you're a nice guy" to console his ego, but to make up for her own shallow attitude. It's about making her feel better. That might be intellectually honest, but it's emotionally dishonest.

People, take this lesson to heart. If you're gonna be shallow, lie. A rejection is always gonna hurt someone, don't add personal critiques to the shoot-down.