i've found at least 5 different versions of the song "convoy"

[datasuspect]

wow.

i like the one where the guy says "he's ten on the floor, stroking bore, and he's about to pull the plug on your drain."

[anarch]

1. sweet

It was the dark of the moon
On the sixth of June
And a Kenworth pullin' logs
Cab over Pete with a refer on
And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
We was headin' for bear
On 'I-1-0
'Bout a mile out Shakey Town
I says, Pig Pen this here's the Rubber Duck
And I'm about to put the hammer down

:thumbsup:

[datasuspect]

2. i used to drink with this retired trucker

they called him "fast eddie."

he was what they call a crazy redneck.

he was always about to "put the hammer down" on somebody.

he also would do kung fu moves in the bar when he drank whiskey. said he learned it in 'nam.

[Nye Bevan]

3. For the DU Brits...

It was a foggy day
On the sixth of May
In a Scammell hauling bricks;
It was just crackin' dawn
And I started to yawn
'Cause I couldn't find any nice chicks.
I tried Newport Pagnell, Toddington,
And even Watford Gap.
But after so many eggs, chips, sausage and beans
What I really needed was a nap.
It's a lonely life truck-driving:
But it's better than a bike.
'Cause when you're up in the cab
You're the king of the road
And it's dead romantic, like?
Then I remembered me two-way radio,
So I started feelin' better:
And I thought "I'll start a convoy:
You know, just like that American feller!"


Thus began the saga
Of the M1 motorway
The biggest blooming convoy
Outside the USA
Why not join our line-up?
It's completely free.
All you need is transport
And a current MOT…
Convoy…

"Hello this is Super Scouse calling: anyone out there come on."
"Er, hello, hello, this is Plastic Chicken, go on."
"That's come on. What's your load, Plastic Chicken?"
"Well, it would have been quick-drying cement, but the rain got in… do you know anybody that wants to buy a three-ton brick?"
"Aargh!"


So there we were, the two of us,
At the start of something big
There was Plastic Chicken with his brick on wheels
And me in my big rig.
With every junction that we passed
Others would tag on
There was even a London Transport bus
"Hey, that's a nice wagon!"


It certainly was an impressive site
To see us on the road
There was vehicles of every shape and size
We certainly had grown!
Suddenly there was this commotion
There was a circus, and a fair
There was an animal acrobatic act:
"Oh look, a bear in the air!"


You're listening to the saga
Of the M1 motorway
The biggest blooming convoy
Outside the USA.
We're halfway through our story
But please don't go away
Here comes Spaghetti Junction
"We could be here all day!"
Convoy…

"Hello, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, get off, er I mean come in, er, do I have to say this every time?"
"Yeah! Have you seen any fuzz-boxes? That's slang for police cars."
"Jackanory, Super Scouse: that's slang for 'no'."
"That's negatory, you berk."
"Oh…"
"Say, is this a private convoy, or can anyone join in?"
"Watch your wheels, our kid."
"Would you believe it, a camper? <giggle>"


Spaghetti Junction was comin' up
So we were bound to lose a few
And sure enough, the fork lift truck
Disappeared heading off towards Crewe.
The combine harvester shred a wheel
And the driver lost control
And a mobile DJ crashed his van
"So he ain't gonna play no soul, 10-4"


And so we end our story
Of the M1 motorway
Of the biggest blooming convoy
Outside the USA
This record is good value
As you can plainly see
It's labelled as a tax disc
So it's a felony…
Convoy…


"Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse: there's a big black limo coming up behind me..."
"Well, what about it?"
"Well it's got a flag on the front and a funny number plate - HRH1."
"Oh, mercy sakes, good buddy, better give her the front door and wave her on, like."
"Will do, Super Scouse, I've waved her on: ooh look, she's waving back."
"Plastic chicken, er, do you want to stick it in behind that suicide jockey?"
"What's a suicide jockey?"
"As it happens owzabout ooohiiieeoooh"
"Er, Plastic Chicken, don't you think you better change gear for this hill?"
"Er, What's wrong with the gear I've got on, I mean doesn't it look right?"
"Change gear, ram the floor, change the gear, what are you talking about? You don't want to drive a truck, do yer?"