So, my husband's little nephew likes to hurt animals...he's 10.

[Beausoir]

Starting from when he was a baby, he's been kicked out of every preschool in his univeristy town of 100,000 because of biting. Not just nibbling...biting and breaking the skin of all the other babies.
His favorite thing to do in his spare-time is mess with the family dog. Pen her in to ridiculous places using chairs and boxes and stools, etc.
Two years ago, the cops came because he had caught the 4 year old neighbor girl and freaking STONED her with pieces of concrete from a busted up sidewalk.

He has a rage disorder and has been on medication for years. He also sees a shrink and has for years. He can't attend regular public school because he can't handle himself so he is in some sort of special school.

He is capable of being kind. Occasionally will come for a hug. Mostly, he's a back-talking little shit and soome of it is not his fault.

So..what did his parents give him for Christmas last year? A bow and arrow. Not a little toy one. A REAL bow with metal tipped arrows...so he can join his father deer hunting. Killing animals is their bonding time.

I can't imagine where this kid is headed. (But he is one of the kids that is coming to my house for Thanksgiving) from this thread......http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5823714


I really need to grow a spine and put a stop to this.

[bettyellen]

1. does his dad know jeff dahmer started this way?

bow and arrow? yathink his parents might be hoping he'll get locked up? sounds like it.

[Guava Jelly]

2. They need to get that kid into therapy

Torturing animals is a common trait of serial Killers..

[Beausoir]

5. He's been in therapy for a couple of years now.

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. Sounds like the parents could use some therapy for parenting

Is there a chance your nephew has FAS? FAS can show up in ways that don't present in physical characteristics, but can show up neurally in exhibited behaviors.

[Beausoir]

12. No...non-drinkers. They are fundy Evangelicals. n/t

[Auggie]

23. How about trying another therapist?

[Alleycat]

14. I agree

Most serial killers started by torturing or killing small animals then progressed to people.

[philosophie_en_rose]

27. Is there treatment for sociopaths?

I'm not suggesting that this kid is one, but - if he is a sociopath - I wonder what kind of therapy could get him to feel empathy for others.

[sakabatou]

3. He'll most likely end up in prison or a mental institution

It's unfortunate, but there is a very high chance of this happening.

[Deja Q]

6. Inevitable until the brat realizes, to the core, his actions are not tolerable

in a civilized society.

Given his behaviors and his dingaling parents gave him a bow and arrow set with metal-tipped arrows, I suggest you anonymously call child care resources the moment anything suspicious happens and get that little monster locked up.

Or get an animal to bit him and then ask him how it feels.

Whatever it takes, before his appalling mindset becomes permanent. There are enough monsters posing as humans as it is.

[Duppers]

4. this is very serious

You said: "I really need to grow a spine and put a stop to this."

Your husband should talk with his parents before someone gets hurt, seriously hurt. Hope you both grow a spine and confront them.

[Beausoir]

7. I just did. I am using DU as a way to vent.

I don't want the kid in my house. And I'm not going to have him in my house around my 5 little children or my animals.

His parents, I believe, are misguided in their belief that this is not that serious of a problem.

The stoning part really got me.

I also feel VERY sorry for that little boy. His life is one of anger and punishment and hurt.

Something just went wrong with the way his brain was wired. Taking him on excurisons to kill animals is about the LAST thing the child needs. Poor kid.

I gotta take a stand and protect my family. I just know he wants to come and spend time with us so badly..another rejection for him. I hold out hope that he can change. But I know that won't happen.

So sad.

[Gato Moteado]

9. hand him one of these....

http://i16.photobucket.com.nyud.net:8090/albums/b13/vegematic/terciopelo_1625.jpg

...and i promise he'll never hurt another animal.

[Beausoir]

11. LOL! The suggestion of the day! n/t

[xchrom]

10. and he's ten?

that's very serious.

there's an awful lot of adult behavior already ingrained.

i think you have good reason to worried -- and no i wouldn't let him around my family if they were four-footed, young -- or very old.
SOMETHING bad will happen.

and hunting is a VERY bad idea in this case.

[SacredCow]

13. I can't say that I have a problem with hunting....

But it does seem like the WRONG thing for this particular kid. If for no other reason than the safety of others.

[Shine]

15. Wow. As the parent of a 10 yr old, myself, I am deeply disturbed by your story.

That kid sounds seriously messed up and even though I have mixed feelings about medicating children, I'm glad he's in therapy. I wonder if he's making any progress in it? After 2 yrs, you'd think there would some improvement, or it's time to change therapists.

I agree with what Whoa Nelly posted, upthread, about getting the FAMILY into counseling, as well. No offense, but it's scary to think of a parent who thinks of killing animals with their kid as "bonding time".

I totally respect your need to protect your family, but I also think it's important to give this poor kid some very important and supervised modeling of what good behaviour looks like. Don't give up on him!!!

:hi:

[Beausoir]

20. You prefectly summed up my feelings! I can't give up on ANY child!

I'm FAR from a perfect parent, but my children are happy and kind and honest and they are good role models for this little guy.

I just hate to punish or give up on any kid. Especially one who is in such need of help.

Then again, he's not mine...I have my hands full with 5 young ones, and I have to think of their well-being first and foremost.

Thank you for seeing that this is a sad situation.

[Arugula Latte]

16. That is very frightening.

My son is almost ten and one of the main values we've instilled in him is kindness to animals.

I know it's not always easy to just mold kids a certain way. I do recognize that some kids do come out wired in a very strange way that is very hard to deal with, no matter how well-intentioned the parents are.

I don't have any answers. Wish I did.

[MoseyWalker]

17. Kids who hurt animals

are many times destined to be aggressive towards humans when older; particularly women.

sorry, but that's what the studies say.

good luck.

[Jamastiene]

18. I would also point out that most serial killers started out torturing

animals then moving on to torture and kill people, but it sounds like your husband's nephew has already moved into the hurting people realm. I have no patience with mean ass little kids like that. I'd spank him, whether his parents liked it or not if he pulled any of that shit with my pets. He'd also get a real good talking to so he could see that I meant business. That's one thing I would do for sure. I don't see spanking a kid for silly stuff, but one that is that out of control desperately needs it. Wow, he sounds like the omen in real life. I hope he grows up to be more compassionate than that, but something tells me that kid is headed for trouble without some real guidance.

[UTUSN]

19. He might end up pResident. Shrub did. n/t

[flvegan]

21. Soooo...what does the therapist say about this?

It would seem a 10 year old, having seen a shrink "for years" and having been on meds "for years" ought to be fairly well figured out by now.

I hope all turns out for the best, and they get to the root of the problem and "fix" it.

[VforVicarious]

22. a bow and arrow?

Good lord. My mom had problems letting me shoot a bb gun at that age. Kids that young don't need to be playing around with deadly weapons. Especially one as immature and violent as your nephew

[Lars39]

24. Is the child seeing a 'christian' therapist or a regular one?

[philosophie_en_rose]

25. Never, never, never leave this kid alone.

Do not take your eyes of this kid, when he's in your home. If I had a nephew like this with parents like that, I would not trust them to protect my children or animals from him. And it only takes a second for something serious to happen.

I agree with the others that say this kid needs treatment that works. Christian counselors, if that's what he has, are just like other types of therapists. Some are good, but others are not. And there is sometimes a religious compulsion to get someone to confess and move on. I guess that could work, but this situation seems in need of some serious safety planning.

You're a brave person. Frankly, I would have told my brother that I expected his child to be monitored at all times. (even to the bathroom). If my brother couldn't commit to that, I had an obligation to my kids and animals to keep them safe. So he needs to think of something concrete or find other plans.

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. Sounds like the parents are willing to do everything to help, except let go their egos

and change themselves.

Sad.

[jilln]

28. Please take their dog away from them. How long before she gets shot with an arrow?

And notify both the local humane investigators and child protection services.

[Haole Girl]

29. A bow and arrow?