Zen?

[Swede]

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
"Come on, girl," said the first monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

The second monk did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he said. "It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," the first monk said. "Are you still carrying her?"

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Oooh.... that's a nice one!

Very nice.

I'm gonna remember that one.

[BrotherBuzz]

2. A renowned Zen master said that his greatest teaching was this:

Buddha is your own mind. So impressed by how profound this idea was, one monk decided to leave the monastery and retreat to the wilderness to meditate on this insight. There he spent 20 years as a hermit probing the great teaching.

One day he met another monk who was traveling through the forest. Quickly the hermit monk learned that the traveler also had studied under the same Zen master. "Please, tell me what you know of the master's greatest teaching." The traveler's eyes lit up, "Ah, the master has been very clear about this. He says that his greatest teaching is this: Buddha is NOT your own mind."

....

A little off topic, but I still get a chuckle on a Zen moment I shared with a coworker. Years ago I worked with a Zen cabinetmaker, and on a bad day, out of frustration I asked a rhetorical question "Is there any meaning to all this", not expecting an answer. Several moments later he answered seriously, "Yes, and no". I laughed my ass off and the day got a whole lot better.

[Briarius]

3. another

One day while Pai-chang was still his student the two were out walking together and saw in the sky a formation of wild ducks. Ma-tsu asked, "What is that?" Pai-chang said, "Wild ducks." Ma-tsu said, "Where have they gone?" Pai-chang replied, "They have flown away." Ma-tsu then twisted Pai-chang's nose, of from which Pai-chang cried out in pain. Ma-tsu said, "When have they ever flown away, they have been here since the beginning."

[Porcupine]

4. true story.

A group of students was assigned to visit a local Zen monastary for a comparative religions class. The students were led through meditation instruction, a reading, a dharma talk and a tour of the monastary grounds.

After all this lunch was served to the students along with the monks and visiting laypeople of the Zen community. The Roshi, interested in the students reaction to their mornings lesson asks a small group of students what they think of all this. Without hesitation a student pulls her fork out of he mouth and smilingly proclaims "Good Fruit Salad"

The Roshi was very pleased and chided his monks on being so slow to grasp what this student could manage in a morning.

[deutsey]

5. MU!

[Guava Jelly]

6. I like that one

here is another great one

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked, "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."