Damn it! I just went to the store and now I'm out of toilet paper!

[LaraMN]

Paper product gods, I curse thee!

[Radio_Lady]

1. Um, use napkins or single-ply paper towels until next visit to store...

If REALLY a problem, you can use pantiliners (expensive and not flushable, however).

Use a list. It helps us to remember at the store.

No problem. Good luck!

[LaraMN]

4. What is this "list" thing you speak of?

I don't need a list! I can remember EVERYTHING!
(except toilet paper!)

:rofl:

[Radio_Lady]

18. Riiiiight... Make a shopping list, please. We all need them.

[Jamastiene]

2. I hate hate hate when that happens.

I make out the most comprehensive list I can make and I even go around the house and check things that don't run out of on a weekly basis just to be sure. I hate coming home to find I missed something.

I have seriously thought of creating a program with things I know we use often based on grocery receipts from the last couple of years. I have saved them all, so data collection would be no problem. The idea would be to have a reminder poop up when I most likely would be almost out of something. Who knows? Maybe if I got off my sorry, lazy butt and did it, I could set it up to make the grocery list out for me instead of having to do it myself. I think it's possible to make something like that, maybe.

[LaraMN]

5. I thought I was SO smart!

Good thing I picked up extra paper towels. We're even almost out of kleenex. Bah.

[barb162]

15. then paper napkins sounds like the next best choice

right?

[WCGreen]

3. Sears amd Roebuck catalouges work fine....

But you gotta crunch them up or they will rip you a new one....

[LaraMN]

7. My husband will be thrilled.

He's a toilet paper snob. The prospect of using "substitutes" will inflame him in more ways than one!

[WCGreen]

9. Make sure he get's the female undergarment page....

[LaraMN]

12. I wouldn't want him to get unduly excited.

:P

[WCGreen]

17. Once, I saw a nipple....

I knew I was not Gay....

[GirlinContempt]

6. YOU

I need you baby :(

[LaraMN]

8. Me!

Hang on- I'll get on IM.

[LaraMN]

10. Double hang on- I think I'm logged off.

...

[GirlinContempt]

11. I feel so special

:D

[Dangerously Amused]

13. I blame Spiderman. Has he been swinging at Casa MN again?

[barb162]

14. use kleenex until you hit the store again

[mykpart]

16. My OCD comes in handy when it comes to paper products.

I never have fewer than 12 rolls of TP, six boxes of Kleenex, and six rolls of paper towels. Probably because when I was a kid we ran out of this stuff all the time.

[GirlinContempt]

19. So, please, we're all breathlessly anticipating an update

[LaraMN]

21. Okay, you asked for it, Spice Girl...

......I had a mission. One that was not without peril, but that conditions warranted I fulfill in order to bring sanity back to my home base. I stood before the towering throngs of bathroom tissue. There was nothing before me or in my peripheral range but 4-ply cotton madness. I had made difficult decisions before. There had been casualties. But this time- it was different. I had no coupons to cushion the impact on my wallet, and I had only the vaguest of direction from Director Sophie: "Get some toilet paper; the paper towelos hurt my butt."

At once, my heart began to thump. White Cloud, Scott, and "quilted" Northern called to me, "We're cheap! We won't scratch your ass! We promise!" I'd been lied to before, though. I wasn't going to play the fool, again. From the far east corner of the aisle, a promiscuous yellow banner screamed "SALE!" I ducked. I was nearly suckered by the lotion-swathed wiles of Cottonelle. I knew taking that mistress home would result in mutiny on the part of MrLaraMN, and his inevitable affirmation of the "greasy ass" result of that bitter brand of hygienic chicanery.

So it was. I stood before my chosen brand, firm in the knowledge that I had found my grail. Then I noted the package....
"MEGA rolls!"
"Noooo!" I shouted.

I knew mega rolls would be too tight for my dispenser, and I wasn't about to attach one of their "free" plastice extenders, which I had brought home previously, and NoelMN had colored with a marker and given to SophieMN to use as a lightsaber.

Single rolls were a joke. I'd have to replace the roll on a daily basis.

What could I do? I was going to have to be smarter than the toilet paper.

"Big rolls."
"That's it!" I thought, "A double roll. I can get a good two days out of a double roll, and it won't get crammed in the dispenser."

I raised my quivering arm, and lifted the package from the cold metal shelf. I pulled it to my chest in a near-embrace, and slid it into my cart, like a pale, cellophaned infant in a meshy bassinette.

I paid for my rolls and left the store. I had done it. Again. Victory was mine. The MnHousehold had dodged another bullet, and I was their savior.

The End.

[GirlinContempt]

26. Are you a little turned on?

I am.

[Lochloosa]

20. Just remember....the right hand is the one you eat with.

:smoke:

[matcom]

22. stop shitting in the store

problem solved

[LaraMN]

25. Hey.

A minicam and the internet, and I'm not worrying about how I'll pay for Christmas presents, this year.

To each his own, Matcom.

To each. his own.

:P

[billyskank]

23. Lara is dumb

:loveya:

[LaraMN]

24. Yesterday Sophie told me I'm "kind of a ditch."

Which alarmed me at first, because I thought she was trying to say, "bitch," but upon questioning her, I determined that she meant "ditz."
I'm not sure who taught her that word, at any rate.

:P