Someone explain women to me...odd ex-girlfriend behavior

[yurbud]

My ex-girlfriend sent me an IM asking what she has to do to get a passport. When I text her back, she says she's already got the paperwork (so she didn't really need anything from me). She hasn't been out of the country before, so I asked where she was going, and she said Dublin. I asked what she's going for and she changes the subject, then tells me to read a post on her myspace page where she just answers a bunch of random question, including blow off a bunch of guys who asked her out and then another about her trip again. This made me more curious, especially since she is an unemployed divorced mother whose family is far from rich, and when we were dating, the farthest I could get her to go was the Grand Canyon, so I asked her if she liked the guy who was paying for the trip, and she got all huffy and said she wanted to keep the details to herself.

She has made a point of chatting me up again after months of silence, but she ended this exchange with "I knew I shouldn't have started talking to you again," like I was the one who initiated the contact.

Can someone explain women to me (especially some other woman)?

[idgiehkt]

1. I only see one woman being talked about in the post.

and it sounds like she needs a shrink. :shrug:

[MoseyWalker]

2. She probably read today

that Ireland is the fourth best country to live in currently.

Also, she has the hots for you, but will never admit it!

[yurbud]

5. she broke up with me, so I'm not sure how the hots factors in.

[gkdmaths]

3. sounds like she enjoys your attention

kinda like my neighbor who insists on letting her dogs run free through the neighborhood and then screaming for them from her front porch.

like, duh!

[yurbud]

6. I've had members of my family do stuff like that, it drives me nuts.

[Swamp Rat]

4. My 2¢:

Ignore her forever. :)

[yurbud]

7. okay, if you got a cute sister to send me.

[Dangerously Amused]

8. Simple. She wants you back.

But she doesn't have the communication skills/confidence/self-esteem to come right out and say it.


"I knew I shouldn't have started talking to you again" = "Oh crap, I was afraid you wouldn't want me back."




(Pssst. She's not really going to Ireland.)

[yurbud]

9. that's a good take on it.

[blogslut]

10. Maybe she just needs a friend

n/t

[yurbud]

11. that's what I thought, but I don't do that "I've got a secret" thing to friends. I try not to even

do it to casual acquaintances--just people who are trying to sell me something or recruit me for a cult.

[buddhamama]

12. my humble opinion: she wants you back

and was giving you an opening or putting you in a situation to express your feelings.

jealously might have been one of her weapons unfortunately, to provoke a reaction from you.

[KG]

13. can't explain women women as a species, but

for the sake of your mental health, avoid all further contact from her.

[hotforteacher]

14. Dude, she's trying to

re-engage and bait you. There is obviously no reason for her to be trying to get any serious information from you. Perhaps she is trying to gauge your jealousy, which is pretty juvenile IMHO. Regret is a powerful emotion, and it sounds like she is using manipulative tactics to mete that out. Don't play the game.

And both sexes unversed in healthy, adult communication skills do this. Not just women. :)

[yurbud]

26. as I've gotten older, I've gotten more direct on this stuff myself. I'm also a teacher

[mduffy31]

15. As my father once told me

Son anything that has Tits or Tires, you are going to have a problem with eventually.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

20. heyo!

[NewWaveChick1981]

16. She's trying to reconnect with you, albeit very badly.

Sounds like she's got some guilt associated with your breakup. If it were me and it were a guy doing that, I'd say thanks but no thanks.

[yurbud]

43. how do you get to guilt associated with break up?

[MissMillie]

17. since all women are the same....

..... :sarcasm:

[yurbud]

27. If I believed that I would have married years ago

[raccoon]

18. She likes your attention. In your shoes, I wouldn't have any more

contact with her.

[youthere]

19. It sounds as if she's trying to make you "jealous" or at the

very least...interested. After months of silence, she contacts you to make sure you know she's going to Ireland, and makes sure you know some other guy is paying for it.
Good luck.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

21. i have a similar issue going on right now.

though, in my case, she's batshit crazy. COupled with all kinds of stupid. With a dash of violent. she's been texting me. im in full ignore mode, and recommend you immediately do the same.

[cobalt1999]

22. All women are insane.

The insanity is in varying degrees with each one, but they are all insane. Remember that and you don't have to worry about figuring them out or looking for any explanation of their behavior.

"Now why did she call me?"
"Oh, that's right, she's insane."
then forget it and go about your day, see how easy that is.

[Hosnon]

23. Haha...you've just made my life THAT much easier.

:rofl:

I can see it now: :wtf:? Or right, she's insane.:crazy:

:rofl:

[yurbud]

28. I ran a variation of that theory by a married woman friend once...

I said at work and in every way but relationships, women are perfectly sane, but when it comes to relationships, they are all insane until at least menopause and some don't even recover then. She thought about it for a second and said I was right, which is bad since I was hoping she'd prove I was wrong.

[cobalt1999]

38. My wife's retort...

We may be insane, but it's dealing with you men that drove us there.

I may be a little guilty of that charge. :)

[yurbud]

40. good match then

[hfojvt]

46. you forgot the "men are stupid" part

Funny Matt Groening cartoon where the boyfriend says "I've got it figured out. Men are stupid and women are insane." and his girlfriend goes ballastic about it. First thing she says "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!"

But that begs the question anyway. So she's insane. That wasn't the question. The question is, will she have sex with me, or not? And secondly, what do I need to do to make the former happen?

[JVS]

24. She's your X, you shouldn't converse with her

[LaurenG]

25. She is playing a game

She wants you to see how very special her life is. I don't know how she feels about you but she definately wants you to notice her "cool and desired by others, self".

[redqueen]

29. that's my take, too

and waaaaaaaah... I wanna go to Ireland! :(

[Courtesy Flush]

31. Yup

Any idiot can figure out how to get a passport. She chose to ask you for a reason.

[Phillycat]

30. Women are crazy, and guys are dumb.

It's a terrible combination.

[kmla]

32. Wee are knot dum.

Ewe take that sintince bak, littel missy!

[gkhouston]

33. she's trying to manipulate you into being interested in her.

I'd run far away, if I were you. I can't think of anyone I've ever known who's been involved with someone like this who came away happier for the experience.

[Haole Girl]

34. I'll give you my expert opinion (ha-ha):

She was trying to make you jealous. When it didn't work, and she didn't get what she wanted, she got pissed. Oh..and, in case you didn't know it, she's probably very immature.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

35. Yurbud, she is

one woman, not "women," and she's an attention-seeking game player who enjoys keeping several guys in suspense.

If she contacts you again, don't answer. Let her find some other plaything. She will. That type is inexplicably attractive to a lot of men.

[Quantess]

39. Good advice.

That's exactly what she's doing: seeking attention and playing games.
Ignore her. She's not worth your time.

[Raffi Ella]

36. Maybe she's unsure of this new guy

and wanted to reconnect with you;someone she was once close with,knows her,could remind her who she is and help her feel more at ease with the transition she's in...

It's happened to me.I broke up with someone that I had cared about deeply.When I met someone else that I liked a lot I called the old boyfriend;It was sort of an aknowledgement of what we were and closure to it before embarking on that new relationship.Sort of a way of connecting and letting go at the same time.A way of making sure it's what I wanted.

If you don't have any negative feelings about her/are still friendly with her and don't want her back this isn't a big deal.
If you are conflicted about her then you need to decide if it's worth the emotional engagement...she sounds rather immature so,either way it's your call...

You could just state outright "Look,whatever this is, you started it and frankly it doesn't make any sense to me.You need to deal with whatever it is that made you want to contact me"...

and go from there.

Just my 2cents. B-)

[yurbud]

42. that's about the angle I took. I don't mind if she wants to chat but that secret shit is just rude

it's like whispering in front of a third party--except there's only two of us.

[Sanity Claws]

37. Batshit crazy? Is she Katherine Harris?

I thought Kate was married.

[HEyHEY]

41. I like this guy's response

Seems the most reliable

[LostInAnomie]

44. I'd tell her to fuck off.

But then again I'm not on speaking terms with any of my ex-girlfriends. I don't give girlfriends second chances.

[yurbud]

45. I like to leave on a good note with people. I don't want to be the bad guy in someone else's story