My ex-girlfriend's daughter swung by yesterday!

[Robb]

I was home for lunch, and one of her girlfriends (they're 18) was driving her around. I know why, her license is kaput... over Halloween the daughter and babydaddy got in a fight -- actually, she got drunk, started beating on him in a parking lot, he just took it, someone called the cops, she went to jail. Two days before mom got around to bailing her out, minor in possession, assault 3, domestic violence. :eyes:

Anyone else think I miss this family?

Anyhow, she swings by. Just to say hi, she said. I told her she looked good, which wasn't precisely truthful, asked how her baby was, etc. Brief chat, I had to get back to work. She didn't mention the jail/court stuff, I didn't ask.

As she was leaving, she said "Were your parents in town this weekend?"

"No, why?" I asked, realizing after I spoke she doubtless had seen the mysterious nice car parked in front for three days whilst my new sweetie was visiting.

"No reason, just wondering. Call me later and we'll have lunch or something."

When her mom decided to run off with some old guy and we broke up, I spoke with the daughter and told her I would always be available for her. And I want to be, because damn but she needs someone -- even sporadically -- in her life who isn't a complete nightmare. Anyone have any tips on how to do so without becoming entangled in it all?

[yellowdogmi]

1. without becoming entangled in it all?

I don't think it can be done. She will probably tell her mother everything and you will end up getting dragged back in. Noble thoughts but in practice probably more trouble than it's worth. Good Luck!

[wildhorses]

2. sometimes it is helpful to stand aside and let people

learn from their own mistakes--perhaps this is one of those times:shrug:


good luck with greyhound and the new girl:hi:

[jus_the_facts]

3. I wish there was such a way to help without becomin' entangled in it all....

....one of my oldest friends weighs 84lbs...she's 5'5'' tall...she's destroyed herself because she couldn't get custody of her two boys...well that's the latest excuse to kill herself anyway...it's impossible for me to give any advice...live and let live...or live and let die...only through experience does anyone learn from their mistakes...sometimes even that isn't enough. x(

[jpgray]

4. Yikes. If you're an honorable guy you're screwed

She might use you for all she can get out of you and not give a shit about you the whole time, if I know the type. If you're not an honorable guy, then you can avoid entanglement.

[YDogg]

5. It may be possible to lend a sympathetic ear periodically in a public venue ...

... with witnesses, without offering her any details of your new situation. Otherwise, as Admiral Akbar might say, "It's a TRAP!"

[Pale Blue Dot]

6. Uhhh.. Robb?

The girlfriend's daughter was hitting on you. Think about it... she stops by unexpectedly, invites you to lunch... and, she's obviously been stalking you.

Really, dude, it's very obvious. Run, don't walk, away from this situation.

[JVS]

11. Either run away, or exploit the hell out of this situation.

[matcom]

7. Dear Penthouse Forum:

You will never BELIEVE what happened to ME today!

:rofl:

[Shakespeare]

9. ...

:spray:

:rofl:

[Dr Fate]

12. LOL! Apparently depraved minds think alike. n/t

n/t

[matcom]

13. depraved?? DEPRAVED???

yup :7

[puerco-bellies]

8. Robb

I've been reading your posts about your GF, and the associated drama. I've almost suggested this before but did not want to be misunderstood, or seem hurtful. Check this site out and take a moment to inventory your situation, and tendencies. If it fits you, take action on breaking those tendencies, if not sorry for butting in. In any case best of luck to you.
P-B

http://www.codependents.org/patterns.php

[JVS]

10. I wouldn't have lunch with her, she sounds like a nutcase