So I was studying the male reproductive system at school today,

[crim son]

examining diagrams, memorizing terms, thinking "oh god, what's that? I've never noticed that before..." when I realized I was gritting my teeth and feeling slightly nauseated. That's when it hit me: I've got issues. Here's my question: how do I overcome my issues? Any suggestions? :evilgrin:

[Guava Jelly]

1. I dunno ?

[crim son]

3. Sonofabitch. I thought I just told you to never do that again!

Mein Gott! Now I have not only issues, but pathologies...

[Guava Jelly]

4. you don't likey

sniff sniff :rofl:

[crim son]

6. Well, (relenting)

maybe from the neck up, but not the hair :)

[1monster]

2. Being aware that you have "issues" is the first step.

The next step is figuring out WHY you have issues. Then you can start to deal with them...

On edit: Now that I've seen post #1, I now have issues too! :(

[crim son]

5. I know exactly why I have issues!

The penis, as it turns out, is evil. Or at least the fellow who claims to like me, and to whom the organ is attached, is evil.
:inappropriate smiley: There I go, gritting my teeth again.

[mainegreen]

7. Who doesn't have issues? Think of it this way:

this stuff was never meant to be studied and be sexy at the same time. When it's sexy time, just forget what you studied. The second you think about it medically it gets, well, blah.

That's the secret to lingerie.

[crim son]

8. I have issues about lingerie too.

When I was a lovely young thing I decided to thrill my boyfriend with something in silk. When he caught sight of me, he called me "the polyester queen." I've never quite recovered. And no, he wasn't a good guy.

[ThomCat]

9. That's a guy who deserved to never

get laid, ever.

[crim son]

11. His father was an alcoholic who beat his mother.

That, I believe, was his excuse for being an asshole.

[texas1928]

10. Now when it is a guy saying....

"oh god, what's that? I've never noticed that before..."

Then that is when you have issues.

[crim son]

12. LOL!

It hasn't happened yet, but I'm only newly back on the shelf...

[TrogL]

27. Like "hey what's that kewl lump with the big black spot in it"?

There are some places you do NOT want a sebacious cyst.

[crim son]

36. Oh, you're making it so much better...

NOT. :rofl:

[BreweryYardRat]

13. I recommend we have a private tutoring/therapy session.

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

16. If you really think it would help....

maybe... :evilgrin:

[datasuspect]

14. so where is the vas deferens?

[crim son]

17. It's a tube running from the epididymus to the urethra.

So you've got two.

[MnFats]

29. Vast difference?

mine no longer make a vast difference because they are interrupted.

[crim son]

33. Ah, but don't underestimate their importance!

You just wouldn't be the same man without 'em :)

[Truebrit71sbruv]

63. I'd never noticed a vas deferens between anything...

... accept the current Whitehouse Administration and the entire rest of the world....

:evilgrin:

[LeftyMom]

15. I guess it could be worse

My thoughts on male anatomy day in Human Sexuality: "Holy shit, is this really turning me on. Jesus, I really haven't had sex in ages!" :eyes:

[crim son]

18. I should have been thinking exactly that!

That would have been completely normal!

[Generic Brad]

19. I never studied that unit

I must have been sick that day.

[crim son]

22. "Unit"? If I didn't know you were a complete stranger

I'd think you were taunting me. I can't even watch the t.v. show by that name :(

[Whoa_Nelly]

20. Just do a sceintific dissection of it all and get past it

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

21. I'll need a subject. Ugh.

See? Barf. :puke:

I'm ruined. Woe is I.

[SPKrazy]

23. If You Are Dissecting

I'm damned glad you are ruined!:hurts:

But cadavers work (well they don't really work, but parts is parts, right?

So is dissecting the "next unit", the next unit? (I'd hate to be told I was the next unit)

Tutoring might help, but put away the knives (unless you are just into that thing not for dissecting)

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

34. Cadavers smell of formaldehyde.

And they're a peculiar color & texture. No, I don't want to do any dissecting today.

[SPKrazy]

61. Well Good!

no dissecting

so I feel better knowing that


B-)

[mockmonkey]

24. Maybe

You could hum the "I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner" song to yourself? Or try the "My Bologna has a first name (fill in the blank)...for instance, "My Bologna has a first name it's C.O.W.P.E.R.S., My Bologna has a second name it's G.L.A.N.D. You might skip the "I want to eat it everyday part.

A song always makes things better!

[crim son]

38. Those two have definitely brightened my morning! n/t

[BrewerJohn]

25. Do they still use those cross-section diagrams?

The female one was no joy at all to me, lemme tellya. Lucky I'm not scarred for life.
I credit massive doses of porn for my recovery.

Well, you asked!

[crim son]

35. I wholeheartedly agree.

Either gender, something is lost in the transition to cross-section. :P

[Skittles]

26. what issues? what's to overcome?

it IS nauseating :7

[crim son]

37. I used to be on my knees

worshipping, so to speak. Pas encore.

[hunter]

28. Zardoz

The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth... and kill!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070948

[crim son]

39. If you photoshop your own face onto

that, I may be cured!

[Frank Cannon]

30. Shower with the Rev. James Dobson

He claims that will clear up any "issues" you might have about genitalia.

[crim son]

40. Or I'll clear up his.

I still have my dissection scalpel in hand...

[Frank Cannon]

56. A dissection scalpel won't do the trick

I'm thinking a microtome and a stereo microscope. Maybe even one of those video microsurgery units that neurosurgeons use.

[crim son]

58. I don't know what a microtone is,

but what you're describing sounds altogether too neat and tidy for what I have in mind.

[NMMNG]

31. That's ok. I don't like looking at the male anatomy either.

But then again I'm a lesbian so maybe that's what it is. :rofl:

[crim son]

41. Ya think?

I am sorry for putting unpleasant thoughts in your head. It was very self-indulgent of me! :spank:

[cwydro]

32. Now this is a good way to start the day

:rofl:

[crim son]

42. That's why I'm here!

To give you your early-morning retch :)

[cwydro]

44. No, no

I'm sitting in my office laughing:rofl:

[crim son]

47. It was GoPsUx in his yellow halter, wasn't it!

The devil take him and his sexy ways... :rofl:

[cwydro]

50. Actually a couple of those pics

had me spewing tea all over the keyboard...women in the office near mine think I'm crazy ('course I am, but that is another issue:P )

[crim son]

52. Not to them it isn't another issue!

:P

[cwydro]

55. Hmmmm

that is a good point.:hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

43. Practice.

:P :evilgrin:

[crim son]

49. Don't wanna.

Or at least, I need persuasion!

[miss_american_pie]

45. My guess is

the issues aren't about men (or their plumbing) in general, just one or two specifically. :hug:

[crim son]

48. Could it be?

Probably. I've had a couple of nightmares lately, which once might have been the sweetest dreams.

You are an angel. :pals:

[miss_american_pie]

57. ...

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

46. I've learned to appreciate

the male anatomy much more than I used to. :evilgrin:

Now if I could only get one to appreciate mine....hmmmmmm

[crim son]

51. Male appreciation of ones physical attributes is not hard to come

by. That's part of the problem!

[BarenakedLady]

53. Oh I know

I'm just an attention ho, you know that. ;-)

[crim son]

54. Laughing.

This whole thread is a plea for attention!

[Lethe]

59. alcohol

and dim lighting?

:evilgrin:

[crim son]

60. I'm going to try that one tonight!

I'm DETERMINED to overcome this evil, one way or another. :evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

62. Hmmm, the same way to overcome any phobia...

Constant exposure and I'd be happy to help! :evilgrin: :wow: :spray:

:D