"He had big eyes and long lashes": The customer of the day...

[jmowreader]

An ax handle is slotted at the end where the head goes on. To tighten the head up, you beat a little wooden wedge (it's about the size of a book of casino-style matches) into the slot. You need to know this.

Yesterday I was coming back from lunch. One of my guys had come in an hour after I did and he had the phone, so I was looking for him so I could send him to chow. He's got this pissed-off woman next to him screaming about how stupid our employees are.

"Jim, do you know where the ax handle wedges are?" Yeah, they're in the ax department. Why?
"No! She just came from garden and they sent her to the lumber department."

Now what kind of a dumbass would do that, I wondered. (Later I found out...the guy who did it really IS a dumbass. But enough about him.) But I went down to the garden department where the ax handle wedges are displayed right next to the ax handles, picked up the box of wedges and found the woman...who wanted to know where they were kept and a bunch of other stuff.

About twenty minutes later I get a call from the store manager..."Jim, you may want to leave the building. Someone's looking for you." (This is normally not a good thing to hear, but you could tell he was about ready to bust a gut over this shit.) "I got this call from returns who said there was a customer wanting to speak to me and she's demanding the phone...the customer gets on and said 'I need to tell you about one of your employees. I don't know his name, but he's got real big pretty eyes and long eyelashes...' So anyway, she's looking for you. Run quick and save yourself, man."

I didn't flee the premises and fortunately what little virtue I retain remains intact.

[Canadian Socialist]

1. .

[KG]

2. betcha got a purty mouth too....