How much of the brine do I pour in when deep frying my turkey?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I'm assuming that it works best if all the brine is poured in when I dump in the turkey, but I want to check it with you guys first.

And what's the best way to ensure that the bring all goes in at once with the turkey while still being able to keep my face right over the deep fryer so I can see what's going on?

I'm embarrassed I don't the answers to these, but please, don't tease me - I'm not an expert yet, and I don't want to fuck it up this year.

[miss_american_pie]

1. I'm certain we had this conversation last Thanksgiving

You aren't supposed to consume the brine, either. ;)

[matcom]

2. as much as you can fit into your mobile home

;)

[yellowdogintexas]

as an FYI, pouring watery liquids into hot fat equals a disaster

period.

I can see by the other answers that I must have missed an important post somewhere else?

I will look for it tonight as I have to leave for work now, but a link would be appreciated. LOL

And Happy Thanksgiving.

[yellowcanine]

19. I think he knew that. This is the lounge, after all.

[yellowdogintexas]

57. Oh hell, I just realized who the Original Poster was. I should have

known better!

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Little Wing]

3. It's best to drop the turkey from a height no less than 10 feet above

the fryer. This ensures and even coating of oil as the turkey begins to cook.

[yellowcanine]

22. Or you could install the fryer in a basketball hoop and have a "dunking" contest.

Probably would go better after downing a couple of six packs for courage.

[trof]

47. This year we made a huge 'potato' gun.

We're gonna fire the turkey from the front yard to the back yard, over the house, into the vat of boiling oil. To get the right trajectory the turkey will have to remain frozen, but it should only take a little longer to cook that way.

[Robb]

4. For the oil, it's best to use 10W-40

5W-30 if you live in a colder climate. :thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. I was gonna use up the old WD-40 and some candles I have sitting around.

Is that okay?

I also have a couple sticks of old butter, some bacon fat, the grease I skimmed off from my last batch of beef stock, and a whole shitload of candles - wax is just like oil, right? They both melt and repel water, anyway.

[Robb]

7. NO! BAD IDEA!

For the love of Pete, save the bacon fat for your daily skin regimen!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. But I have so much of it!

The fridge out on the porch, by the broken warshin' machine, is filled with mason jars of it.

I have more than enough bacon fat to last me through a year or two of daily facial cleansing.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. I think the brine has to be ice cold IIRC, and the turkey at least 20 pounds.

Be sure to use lard rather than oil. Much better flavor.

[matcom]

9. make sure the turkey is good and frozen too

crisps up better that way

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. I've made many brick-sized ice cubes to keep throwing into the oil, too,

to help ensure a good crispy skin.

[matcom]

12. you coating it in cornflakes again this year?

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. No, I wrapped it first in hay and then insulated it with a layer of drinking straws

and bound it all together with Sctoch Tape.

To help keep some of the heat away from the turkey.

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Scotch tape?

Are you kidding? Duct tape, only, dude.

:eyes:

[matcom]

16. cut him some slack

he watches Rachael Ray :eyes:

[Midlodemocrat]

24. Well, that explains it.

Why isn't he deep frying the turkey in EVOO? Then he'll have enough for a sammy.

[grasswire]

69. yum-o (n/t)

[Xipe Totec]

72. They sold out of duck tape - all used on turducken n/t

[billyskank]

11. I assume somebody somewhere is already doing

deep fried turkey in batter?

[speedoo]

14. I'm brining a turkey for the first time... could use some guidance.

It's not a big bird. And I will be roasting it.

My questions:

1. Is the brine simply salted water, or do people have a better recipe? What's the technique and how long?

2. I've heard that roasting the bird upside down is better than with the breasts facing up. At least for part of the roasting time. I can see the logic in this... to keep the breast meat from overcoking and drying out.

[Reciprocity]

42. This may help.

Good Eats Roast Turkey

Recipe courtesy Alton Brown

1 (14 to 16 pound) frozen young turkey
For the brine:
1 cup kosher salt
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 gallon vegetable stock
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
1/2 tablespoon allspice berries
1/2 tablespoon candied ginger
1 gallon iced water
For the aromatics:
1 red apple, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup water
4 sprigs rosemary
6 leaves sage
Canola oil

Combine all brine ingredients, except ice water, in a stockpot, and bring to a boil. Stir to dissolve solids, then remove from heat, cool to room temperature, and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.
Early on the day of cooking, (or late the night before) combine the brine and ice water in a clean 5-gallon bucket. Place thawed turkey breast side down in brine, cover, and refrigerate or set in cool area (like a basement) for 6 hours. Turn turkey over once, half way through brining.

A few minutes before roasting, heat oven to 500 degrees. Combine the apple, onion, cinnamon stick, and cup of water in a microwave safe dish and microwave on high for 5 minutes.

Remove bird from brine and rinse inside and out with cold water. Discard brine.

Place bird on roasting rack inside wide, low pan and pat dry with paper towels. Add steeped aromatics to cavity along with rosemary and sage. Tuck back wings and coat whole bird liberally with canola (or other neutral) oil.

Roast on lowest level of the oven at 500 degrees F. for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and cover breast with double layer of aluminum foil, insert probe thermometer into thickest part of the breast and return to oven, reducing temperature to 350 degrees F. Set thermometer alarm (if available) to 161 degrees. A 14 to 16 pound bird should require a total of 2 to 2 1/2 hours of roasting. Let turkey rest, loosely covered for 15 minutes before carving.

[AllegroRondo]

45. I did this recipe last year, its AWESOME

Alton really knows his stuff.

[yellowcanine]

17. If you are going to deep fry a turkey get a long extension cord and take the fryer outside

far away from your house. I am series! Those things are a fire hazard even if you are careful. And if you are taking advice here on the proper procedure - all the more so!

[matcom]

18. are you suggesting that our advice above is less than helpful?

:eyes:

[yellowcanine]

20. Actually I am. I know this is a spoof thread but someone MIGHT take it as SERIES.

Never know.

[matcom]

21. I personally blame Robb

for suggesting 10W-40 :D

[Midlodemocrat]

43. Well, he is a dingbat after all.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

54. Anyone who takes this thread as SERIES deserves to die/disfigure themselves/burn down their home.

I believe in survival of the fittest. If they think this thread is series, then they certainly should not be allowed to reproduce.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. This new learning amazes me! Tell me more! This is HUGH!!11!!

[Midlodemocrat]

44. I am DEEPLY offended that you think I wouldn't offer Rabrrrrrr

the most sincerest and intelligent advice.

:P

[leftofthedial]

23. three simple steps

1. fill the fryer to the top with oil. if you don't fill it to the top, it leaves air inside the fryer and we all know that air is a key ingredient in combustion.

2. heat the oil until it is boiling violently

3. leaning directly over the fryer, lower your face as close as you can stand to the boiling oil--don't worry if your hair burns or your skin starts to smoke and peel--and drop the entire turkey and ALL THE BRINE into the fryer all at once.


Enjoy!


hint 1: hold the turkey like a football and the bucket of brine in the other hand

hint 2: for best results, do this on the coffee table in your living room.




sheesh, I hope no one actually does this. have you seen video of turkey fryer fires? Anyone trying to fry a turkey should check this out first: fryer safety

[yellowcanine]

26. I like my idea of installing the fryer in a basketball hoop and having a dunking contest better.

[leftofthedial]

27. everyone in my family is old

and white


got any 5 foot hoops?

:rofl:

[yellowcanine]

28. You could use one of those kiddie hoops. Then you could do it in the house.

More fun than gigging frogs in a thunderstorm.

[EnviroBat]

37. Thanks you bastards...

I'm just healing from a broken rib, and you have caused me soooo much pain...

[bridgit]

29. you are a better man than i, Gunga Din...

[jmowreader]

30. I recommend renting scaffolding

Here's what you do:

First, rent a 40-foot-high scaffold and erect it in the middle of the street.

Then set up your turkey fryer with a full pot of oil right under the scaffold and set it to boil furiously. I recommend Shell Rotella T 15w40...or are we as liberals still at war with Shell?

Next, get about six turkeys in various states of thaw and attempt to drop them, one at a time, into the boiling oil. Make sure to leave the wrappers on in case you miss and bounce it off the road.

If you accidentally fuck up and get one in the pot, leave it there for three or four hours to make sure the delicate flavor of the Rotella infuses itself through the meat.

You may want a fire extinguisher in case the oil overheats and catches fire. I recommend the special Kidde Dry Chemical FAA-Rated for Airfields extinguisher. It's available at Wal-Mart between the "Turkey Fryers" and the "Prepaid Mental Health Services Cards."

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. But doesn't having an extinguisher imply a lack of faith in God?

It is Thanksgiving, after all, giving thanks to God, and having an extinguisher at the ready is like spitting in his face and saying, "I don't really trust you".

Which is why I will by tying my children to the fryer - as a sign of my faith that God can do anything, even keep them from getting burned, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

[jmowreader]

32. Who was the preacher who said "trust in God but lock your car"?

If you're actually crazy enough to drop half-frozen, plastic-wrapped turkeys from 40 feet up into boiling motor oil that's in a cauldron above a roaring propane fire, God has given up on you.

[billyskank]

33. "In God we trust - others, cash."

:)

[EnviroBat]

34. 1 part brine: 3 parts gasoline.

[smtpgirl]

35. I Would certainly not pour in ANY

water in HOT OIL, waiting to get burned!!!! or start a fire

[EnviroBat]

36. No seriously, you f'ers are killing me today...

Oh look, dinners ready...

[EnviroBat]

38. How much oil will this bird require?

[MrCoffee]

39. good luck finding someone to reach in and pull out the giblets.

[EnviroBat]

40. HAHHAHAHA

:rofl:

I'm soo gonna get fired...

[6000eliot]

41. You should also make sure that the turkey is frozen as you put it in the hot oil.

;)

[rug]

46. Make sure it's frozen when you put it in.

[mcscajun]

48. If absolutely ANYTHING goes wrong, just use this line:

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry!"
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
Many apologies to all the WKRP fans. Yes, I know it's Fly, not Fry. :evilgrin:

[yellowcanine]

49. Oh man, that had to be one of the funniest episodes ever of WKRP

Was it hapless Les who delivered that line? Seems to me it was.

[Oeditpus Rex]

56. It was Mr. Carlson

The turkey-giveaway promotion was his idea.

It barely got off the ground.



:hide:

[mcscajun]

59. Nope. Arthur Carlson.

Does sound like it should have been Les' line, though.

[yellowcanine]

68. Wasn't Les the one that marked off his "office" with tape on the floor?

And then he would open and close his "door" when he went in and out? What a scream.

[Rabrrrrrr]

74. He's the one - and he made people "knock" before entering

WKRP is truly one of the greatest TV shows ever.

[mcscajun]

82. That was him. He also had a bandage on himself Somewhere in

every single episode. :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

52. You should serve time in Sing Sing for that joke.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[mcscajun]

60. I know. I have an evil streak, and a wicked sense of humor.

Guilty on both counts.

[Oeditpus Rex]

55. ROFL! ROFL! ROFL!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:



GEEENyus!

:applause: :yourock:

[mcscajun]

61. Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week.

:)

[Sugar Smack]

58. OMG!!! LOLOLOLOL!

Best episode ever!!:rofl:

Except maybe for the "Booger-saying" episode!

[yellowcanine]

50. A lot of wannabe Appalachian Americans (AKA Rednecks) on this thread.

Ain't it fun!

[nini]

51. I believe it's equal parts

make sure you fill the oil to the rim of the cooker and it's at a roaring boil before putting the turkey in :evilgrin:

[SOteric]

53. The brine you put in should be an amount equal

in volume of the smallest room in your doublewide.

But wait until the oil is good and hot. You want to make sure that turkey gets cooked all the way through.

[Rabrrrrrr]

63. I tried the oil at about 1800 degrees last year, but I didn't like the skin.

I'm thinking of trying 2400 F this year and see how that crisps it.

[tinfoil tiaras]

62. Deep Fried Turkey...

:9 :9 :9 :9

[BOSSHOG]

64. Yummy indeed

Obviously there is quite a few who have yet to enjoy this seasonal delicacy.

[Elidor]

65. LMAO

This thread is a riot.

[Twillig]

66. pour enough to just reach the level of last years christmas tree branches.

the dry needles provide extra seasoning, you know.

[Rabrrrrrr]

67. I always use last year's dried needles to make pajamas for the kids

They love 'em!

[grasswire]

70. you had needles??

We had to pin cat hairs on the branches.

[ashling]

71. How much of your house do you want to burn down?

:shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

73. None of it! That's why I'm asking! I have an oil barrel full of kerosene

that I'm thinking of using to give the fry oil (my own mix of WD-40, 10W-30, old candles, floss, bacon grease, etc.) a little jump start.

I'm really thinking I need to get the oil to 2400 degrees.

[matcom]

75. use gloves

because I really care

[Rabrrrrrr]

76. Like a latex doctor glove?

I should think that would provide sufficient insulation. Especially if I rub my arm with a flame retardant like madnesium powder.

[matcom]

79. naw, a good pair of Isotoners should do it

why go all out?

[yellowcanine]

77. Is it possible to deep fry frozen Snickers bars at the same time as the turkey?

Or should one wait until the Turkey is finished?

[mcscajun]

83. One must wait for the dinner plates to be cleared and the sorbet

to be served before frying the Snickers bars.

Pul-leeze, we Must have Some Standards.

:rofl:

[leftofthedial]

78. and how much beer do you leave in the can when you

drop your beer can turkey in the deep fryer

[Twillig]

80. Not much I'd think, it should be the last beer in the last case.

Turkey's too big for a can anyway! (must be all the beer in me)

An Ice-cold pony-keg should do.

[leftofthedial]

81. ooooooh

pony keg turkey

[Rabrrrrrr]

84. I drink the beer, then fill the can with propane

[ProfessorGAC]

85. Put In Ice Instead

It's WAY safer! (Disclaimer for the saracasm impaired: DON'T DO THIS AT HOME, KIDS!)
The Professor

[Rabrrrrrr]

86. I thought I'd do it inside, locktight all the windows and doors, and use dry ice.

How's that?

[Rabrrrrrr]

87. All you people fucking LIED TO ME! Now I'm in the hospital

with burns over all my body, the entire neighborhood is gone, and I'm being sued by five counties, seventeen municipalities, 32 guests, and untold thousands of others for both the explosions AND especially forf the poisonous cloud that covered a few thousand square miles.

You bastards!!!!!!!!