This year we're cooking the turkey in the Hummer.

[trof]

On the engine block.
We wrap the turkey in foil.
Run the Hummer down to Gulf Shores and back to get 'er warmed up real good.
Put the foil wrapped turkey on the engine block and strap it down good with logging chain.
A run up to Montgomery and back (180 miles each way) ought to have the bird done to a turn.
Deep frying is for effete librul sissies.
Bon appetit.
:-)

[texanwitch]

1. So that is how many miles per pound of turkey.

Why not just deep fry the turkey in the back.

[Deja Q]

2. Must... resist... temptation... to copycat!

:rofl:

BTW: How many gallons per turkey do you need?

[BarenakedLady]

3. I swear that I saw that exact same Hummer

But it was bright yellow at the Home Depot the other day. It was such a pity because I saw this really attractive looking guy walking through the parking lot. I'm like "hmmmmmm nice." Then he walked closer and closer to that yellow monstrosity. I literally said out loud "Oh please no....no, not the HUMMER!"

What a disappointment. :-(

[trof]

6. Similar (but better) experience.

A while back I was in line at the drive by mailbox drop behind a big SUV.
I saw the 'Bush' sticker on the back.
"Typical", I thought.

Then I got closer and saw


OK!
Moral: Not EVERY SUV driver is a total dumbass.

[trof]

4. The question of miles-per-turkey, or turkeys-per-gallon has been asked.

Our Hummer gets 3.7 mpg if we don't run the air conditioner.
It's pretty cool down in Dixie right now, so we probably won't need it for what I'm calling The Great Annual Turkey Run. GATR for short.

OK, 30 mile round trip for pre-heating 'oven'.
That's approximately 8.11 gallons.
Premium is going for $2.389 a gallon here right now.
(We ONLY run premium in our precious Hummer.)
That's $19.37.

The real Turkey Run will be 360 miles, give or take.
That should come to around $232.44.
So say $250 for pre-heating and cooking.

Of course that doesn't include pro-rata insurance costs, general wear and tear, etc.
But look at all the electricity we'll save.
(We have an electric oven.)
And we can listen to a nice audio book enroute.
:-)

[Suich]

5. LOL! Thanks, trof!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

7. Hey trof, make sure you post on Thursday and let us all know

the bird turned out.

:rofl: :rofl:

[trof]

8. I certainly shall. Miz t. is doing the side dishes on her Honda riding mower.

The dressing, green bean casserole, pumpkin flambe', and the cranberry sauce.
I guess we'll be separated for around 6 hours while I make the Great Annual Turkey Run solo, but the reunion will be sweet.
:-)

[seemunkee]

9. Had a friend who cooked chickens that way

He had one of the older vans that had the engine compartment between the driver and passenger. You could open it up while driving so on trips to WV to go climbing he would set a chicken wrapped in foil and turn it occasionally. By the time he got to Seneca rocks it would be done.

[trof]

10. I actually have the "Manifold Destiny" cookbook.

I never tried any of the recipes, but they supposedly work.
I remember in the olden days, before McDonalds every 3 blocks, truckers would cook a steak on the engine block.

[spindrifter]

11. Here's an alternative:

Double-wrap the bird in foil, sealing tightly with matching duct tape. Then attach a chain and drag the turkey behind the Hummer--preferably off-roading part of the way. Bird cooks as a result of friction. Of course, you need to drive fast enough to keep away from the stray dogs that want to intercept your bird.

[trof]

12. DAMN! Where have YOU been?

How would you like to run for congress?
We NEED people with fresh ideas like that.

[spindrifter]

16. Gee, trof, I actually adapted it

from something a family member once did--left a nice trail leading back to our house...I can also function by delegating stuff to committees. You're right, I probably should run for congress if I don't get enough people to sign up for my cookery school.

[xchrom]

13. now see -- and i was going to park the hummer over a big fire

with the turkey in it!

shit if i do it your way i get a road trip in.

[trof]

14. There ya go.

Don't forget the beer.
LOVE Drinkin'-N-Drivin'.
And all the cops will be at mom's for Thanksgiving.
SWEET!

[xchrom]

15. damn -- you got ALL the good ideas!

you musta done this before.