Well THAT was almost completely no fun at all

[Bossy Monkey]

So I have this childhood friend who unfortunately fell into a bottle many years ago and has only sporadically been able to climb out. He reappeared the other day, if only telephonically. I hadn't heard from him at all for ages, and was just on the verge of scanning obituaries for him to be quite frank. For some reason, he is in far southern SC, almost all the way to Savannah. He called my dad and left a message and my dad called me and passed it on. I called and he asked if I could come and take him to visit his mom. (She lives in a nursing home here in Columbia.) I said sure and today I drove down to pick him up. He asked me to help him with some stuff and we went upstairs to get-- a suitcase and some garbage bags. Now none of this was in the job description, and I pointed out that he didn't have any money nor anywhere to stay in Columbia. He suggested that either this old friend or that distant cousin would be happy to put him up. I expressed severe doubts, but agreed to take him to see his mother and then we'd play it by ear. (Since I was already planning to bring him back anyway it wasn't any additional sweat to add some unnecessary luggage to the trip. In other words, I had a very realistic notion how likely it was that anybody was going to let him stay with them, ie, not at all.)

We got as far as the car, when the director of the facility (which turns out to be a homeless shelter run by a Christian ministry) came out, thinking he was going to have to argue with me. I said that I had already told my friend that there wasn't anybody he could stay with in Columbia and that I was planning to take him to see his mom then bring him back. The director was worried that if he got to Columbia he'd never come back and would die on the streets. To say that I shared this concern would be a slight understatement. So he had my friend's mother on the phone and let me try to talk to her. Maybe I don't know how to use a walkie-talkie phone or maybe her Alzheimer's has progressed further but I couldn't actually exchange any information with her. Anyway, I was willing to believe the director since his description of the situation was in line with my experience of it. My friend then threw a little fit, which also didn't speak well for his readiness for the wilder world, but in the end he agreed to stay and I left it that if the director calls me and says my friend is ready to go, I'll come back and pick him up.

Sooo, no dang fun at all, but I have no thought at all that I did anything but the right thing.

(I should probably mention before anybody asks that no, he can't stay with me, we already don't have room for us. Also, I've gotten this guy into and out of emergency rooms about a half dozen times and on another occasion into psychiatric treatment by the force of sheer will power. Maybe I'm just out of will power or maybe I'm no longer angling for canonization. Anyway, I don't have to ask my dad to keep an eye on the obituary section for me at least.)

So, the usual request: white light, prayers, positive thoughts, warm wishes or whatever you got that my buddy finally is able to pull himself together and start his life again.

[zanne]

1. I'll say some prayers for you, too.

Not many people hang in there for very long with an on again/off again alcoholic. You're a very good friend. He's lucky he has you.

[Bossy Monkey]

2. Thanks. Appreciate it. n/t

[lizziegrace]

3. You've got it

you're not equipped to deal with this and thankfully, you figured that out long ago.

:hug:

You're a good friend, even if your friend can't see it right now.

[Mojambo]

4. You done good. n/t

[wildhorses]

5. sometimes it is SO hard to stand by and let someone sink to

their destiny--when we think they should be flying. you did the right thing :hug:

[pitohui]

6. oh wow, hugs, white lights, etcetera

a crackhead ex friend has just showed up in town, but i'm just going to keep my head low and avoid all contact

you are a good person who has already done far more than you should be asked to do

no way you need any alcoholic/addict staying in your house, that's completely out of order, you have done the right thing and i hope you DO know that

[cwydro]

7. Years ago

My sister's childhood friend took that route. An incredibly talented artist and a beautiful soul. My sister and I bailed her out of jail and dealt with many many many drunken episodes. She was from a very wealthy family and tried rehab after rehab. AA was not for her either. She finally died at the age of 30. A heartbreaking loss to her family and to our family, who considered her a third daughter, having known her since she was a young girl. I wish you well. Sometimes these things don't end so well; I hope your friend will be an exception.

[Bossy Monkey]

8. He was an attorney

Fell down a mine shaft in Ecuador on some kind of deal where a drinking buddy of his was supposed to invest in a gold mine. I don't know if drinking was involved, but I know which way I'm betting. The subdural hematoma he suffered led to decreased coordination and slurred speech, so that even when he isn't drinking he looks and sounds like he is. Sad, sad story.

[Bossy Monkey]

9. Thanks all! Appreciate the warm thoughts. n/t