Oh Crap! The Rapture just happened

[GURUving]

and they forgot me. I can understand when the bus is a few minutes late, but this is souls we're talking about here!

Are they going to send around another bus to pick up those of us that were supposed to be chosen?

Hello?

edited because I'm a dummy. I haven't yet read "Posting For Dummys"

[GURUving]

1. My (or your) GOD!!!!!!!

you're all gone! You must have been what I thought. Angels all.

[nyrnyr1994]

2. Well, they missed me too...

[everythingsxen]

3. Speak for yourself kid...

:evilgrin:

I'm damned and proud of it! Bring on the hot demon girls and let's roast some humans over the pits of Hell!

Bwahahhaahahahahahahahahaha!

[WoodrowFan]

13. eww

Didn't you know, in Hell you get your choice of 3 girls..

1. Rosanne Barr
2. Anthrax Coulter
3. Mrs Kielbassa, your third grade teacher that weighed like, 400 lbs, had bad breath, and had that HUGE mole on her chin with the three hairs poking out.

And they'll only do missionary with the lights on.

[OldSoldier]

24. That's when you change to sheep

Compared to Annthrax, sheep aren't baaaaad....

[shance]

4. I knew there was something on my planner I had forgotten about....

Damn........what did I do with my clogs?

am I just supposed to wait out by the curb?

i better grab my laptop....and the dogs.....wheres my Oprah mag?....oh God..just kidding*.... I almost forgot my mobile. I should have reception for atleast 20,000 feet or so...better grab some diet cokes....i hope they have sodas up there....

oh wow....I hope were going UP***.... i should probably look for a north or south sign on the bus....i dont do very well in extreme heat or humidity. its hell on the hair..........probably not the best choice of words......***

[GURUving]

5. I read this twice

and I'm still laughing!

hey! We're all on the UP bus! I like frizzy hair.

[shance]

6. Guru honey you are on a ROLL tonight***

You are having some kinda spirtual encounters with the mind!

Always a good thing***

:)

[Syncronaut Seven]

7. You gonna be needing your car?

Or are you just going to leave it in the middle of the road like that?

[catzies]

25. How come all the cars with rapture stickers are ones I'd never drive?

That's how I know I'm damned for sure. :evilgrin:

At least I'm in good company.

[Dover]

8. Shhhhhh....relax.....it's God's little joke on the neocon, winged nuts.

Don't tell them, but Heaven will be on EARTH the moment they are beamed up...trust me on this.

God will wink at the right winged nuts as they look around at their firey hell and say, "hey if you're gullible enough to believe in Bush you'll trust anyone...hehehehehehehe!!!"

And God will call all us angels here on this heavenly planet the "LEFT behind".

[gator_in_Ontario]

10. Never thought of that

I like the way you think! Just think of all the mansions and gilded toilet seats the rapture will free up!

[peacefreak]

9. True confession...

I lurk over at Rapture Ready every once & awhile. One the concerns over there is who is going to turn off the appliances & feed their pets when they're taken up. (FLASH--job opportunity! I can see it now. Pre-need planning--would you trust your pet to a left behind heathen?) Opps, sorry, no more coffee for me!

[truthspeaker]

14. I've been thinking about selling rapture insurance

pre-paid, off course

[Southpaw Bookworm]

17. What a great business opportunity

And what can you say when they accuse you of fraud: "Sorry, but our president and a large portion of the world population believes this is going to happen, how can I be lying to them?"

Could foster all sorts of interesting discussions.

:evilgrin:

[Bunny]

11. You know, I always figured I'd be using the bathroom when that great

moment came, and dang if that isn't exactly where I was!

[WoodrowFan]

12. YES! Free Cars!

Just think of all those cars with bumper stickers that tell us the car will be abandoned when the Rapture came!

[noonwitch]

15. Yeah, It's called God's Love Bus and I see it in Detroit all the time

I almost got ran over by it.

[CO Liberal]

16. Oh, Goody!!!

Fewer assholes in Colorado Springs!!!!

:-)

[rustydog]

18. I was taken up, but couldn't stand the company

and chose to return to the good people!

[RandomKoolzip]

19. In Nashville....

Where I live right now (Somebody help me!) The Rapture was a genuine concern before the hole Y2K thing. I had like, six people seriously come up to me at the restaurant I was managing and tell me they might not be at work after New Years 2000 because they'd be in Heaven. Seriously. I tried not to laugh...

These assholes really take that shit seriously. It's amazing....God, I hate Nashville sometimes.

After the "rapture" DIDN'T happen, they still couldn't be swayed from their deluded thinking. I asked them all about it, and they all said it was a test from GOD and that the "real rapture" was gonna happen a few years from now. Ewwwww. I hate fundies.

[jimbo fett]

23. I live in Nashville, too. I didn't see a lot of unmanned cars this morning

I guess we're not as righteous as we think we are. Either that or God's grading on a curve and Mother Teresa blew our chances.

[Bertha Venation]

20. life was filled with guns and war

and everyone got trampled on the floor
I wish we'd all been ready
children died, the days grew cold
a piece of bread would buy a bag of gold
I wish we'd all been ready
there's no time to change your mind
the Son has come and you've been left behind

a man and wife asleep in bed
she hears a noise and turns her head -- he's gone
I wish we'd all been ready
two men walking up a hill
one disappears and one's left standing still
I wish we'd all been ready
there's no time to change your mind
how could you have been so blind
the Father spoke, the demons dined,
the Son has come and you've been left behind

by Larry Norman

I think of this song everytime I think of "the rapture." I used to believe in it with all my heart and soul. I wept for my sisters who had left The Way and begged with them not to take the mark of the beast when the time came. I spent so much of my time and energy -- my life -- frightened and worried and terrified.

I despise fundamentalist Christianity.

[wysimdnwyg]

21. It wasn't really the Rapture

All the fundies just reached a level of such ignorance and hypocrisy they all spontaneously imploded.

[truthspeaker]

22. the Rapture is a trick...

...by Odin. He thinks Christians won't be any good in a fight so he wants them out of the way before the last battle of Ragnarok.

[beyurslf]

26. Hey just wondering...

In case of the rapture, can I have your car? :) Love that bumper sticker.