How to Stuff Your Parrot on Thanksgiving

[AlienGirl]

(This is an old chestnut that's been going around. It is hilarious.)

HOW TO STUFF YOUR PARROT ON THANKSGIVING

1 Turkey
Mashed potatoes/gravy
Corn Pudding

Cranberry Sauce
Green Beans

Hot Rolls
Stuffing
Relish tray
Sweet Potatoes

Pumpkin pie/whipped Cream
Hot Coffee
Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It is going to be a long day so place your parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.

Remove parrot from kitchen counter back to perch. Prepare stuffing; remove parrot from edge of stuffing bowl. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove parrot from edge of pan. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves.

Remove parrot’s head from turkey cavity and re-stuff voided area. Prepare relish tray; remember to make twice as much so that you will have a regular size serving after the parrot has eaten his fill. Remove parrot from kitchen counter. Prepare cranberry sauce; discard berries accidentally flung to the floor. Peel potatoes, remove parrot from edge of potato bowl. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini-marshmallows remove parrot from edge of pan & replace missing marshmallows.

Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter and old coffee grounds from around the pot. Pry coffee bean from parrot’s beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove parrot from kitchen counter.

When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a large platter, cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley. Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl; rewhip at last minute to conceal bite marks and footprints.

Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard; forget presentation cause there is no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallow.Put rolls in decorative basket, remove parrot from side of basket along with beaked rolls, and serve what is left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better of it and return it to the refrigerator.

Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato foot tracks. Remove parrot from kitchen counter & carve the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off parrot’s beak & place large dollops of remaining cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess. Place parrot inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied by plaintive cries of “WANT DINNER!” from the other room.

[u4ic]

1. Thank you!

I LOVE this piece and have been looking for it for awhile! :rofl:

[pitohui]

2. this is cute

my parrots have been cashing in on this holiday and a sudden lapse into an eating disorder BIG TIME -- they are taking advantage to eat what i have not had the will to eat

got to admit, it's cute, to watch the parrot mind plot and scheme but crap! they are totally walking over me this year and leaving footprints on my face because of my appetite loss

these parrots do not remember me at my worst 30 years ago so they are just totally exploiting any small desire not to eat and slip the extra to the parrots

it is cute and funny tho, you got to laugh, they think they invented this, they got no idea

[jgraz]

3. LOL -- you just described my day today

Gnocchi, Blue Crowned Conure, Actual Size

[radfringe]

4. I just stuff the parrot

into the cat... JOKING!!! I'M ONLY JOKING!!!

[xchrom]

5. remove the parrot from the kitchen counter...

wash

rinse

repeat...