My family is finally gone

[Courtesy Flush]

Oy, we felt like it was our turn to host Thanksgiving this year (it REALLY was) so we had the family over from another part of the state.

I learned that my ten-year-old godchild has never heard of evolution (it started with her questions about how Adam and Eve could have given birth to black people--since the bible says they're white). I made a subtle suggestion that many people believe that we all came from... nah, I wasted my breath.

My aunt is the histrionic one in the family. I live in a small town, on Main Street, so I know that Monday people at the office will be asking me why there was an ambulance at my house on Thanksgiving day. We have this nice rope swing in our yard, it swings about a foot above the ground. Auntie fell off of it, and didn't move for nearly an hour. Here's the story from my wife's perspective. She was indoors, talking with my cousin. Cousin's husband enters the room, and politely waits for a lull in the conversation, not wanting to interrupt. Finally he says "honey, I wanted to let you know, your mom fell off the swing, and she says she cant feel her legs. My cousin said "okay, thanks" and resumed her conversation with my wife (I love that cousin. She's the sane one.)

Finally My aunt decides she needs an ambulance. We make the call. There's an ambulance company substation two blocks from my house, but it still took a long time to get there, because so many other people in town had relatives too. Three ambulances passed in front of our house before ours arrived (you think I'm kidding?). Long and short, Auntie felt good enough to get on her feet for the paramedics. They walked her around a little, and told her to take some ibuprofen. My wife walked the paramedics back to their unit, and thanked them for making Auntie's day (they got it, and chuckled).

My uncle told us that he never even got a bill last time this happened, and hoped they wouldn't send him one this time. I wonder how many times the ambulance has been called on Auntie's behalf.

They ended up extending their visit by an extra day, in which everything went smoothly. My wife's friend, Peggy, was eagerly awaiting updates, as my wife had fired off a quick email letting her know an ambulance had been called, but she wasn't free to elaborate yet. Peggy knows my family pretty well.

At breakfast this morning, my goddaughter said "can we have Thanksgiving here EVERY year?" There was a collective groan at the table.

[Haole Girl]

1. Why was Auntie on the swing?

:shrug:

[Courtesy Flush]

2. People can't help themselves

I live in a big Victorian house, with a staircase that kids love to run up and down, and big oak trees with a swing. Her grandkids wanted to play, and she had to oblige them. It's a safe swing, if you just swing like a sane person!

[Haole Girl]

4. Thanks

I just wondered. ;-)

[skygazer]

3. Sounds like the family get-togethers from my childhood

Big, wacky, dysfunctional, affectionate family. Sounds riotous. But exhausting.

[hickman]

5. Tell your Godchild that you'll host Thanksgiving next year,

if she can show you, in the Bible, where it says that Adam and Eve were white. A real Bible, not one interpreted/rewritten by some jonny come lately Jesus wannabe.