Christmas song parodies

[mykpart]

In another thread someone posted a parody of We Three Kings, and it got me to thinking. Of course everyone knows:

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away.

Another version is:

Jingle bells, shotgun shells, rabbits all the way
(But I don't know the next line!)

My personal favorite song parody is called "The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen." The last line is, "Now I have 2 black eyes and a high heel up my behind. Now I can't sit in comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Now I'll never sit in comfort and joy."

Post some others.

[VelmaD]

1. Deck the halls with gasoline....

fa la la la la-la la la la
Strike a match and watch it gleam
fa la la la la-la la la la
Watch the schoolhouse burn to ashed
fa la la, la la la, la la la
Aren't you glad you played with matched
Fa la la la la-la la la la!

And then there's always:
We three kings of orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded
It exploded
Now we're on yonder star

[BrotherBuzz]

2. Allan Sherman's Twelve Days of Christmas

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

Allan Sherman

Note: "S" is Sherman, "C" is the chorus and "B" is both

S: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A Japanese transistor radio
C: On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: Green polka dot pajamas
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
S: It's a Nakashuma
C: On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
C: Green polka dot pajamas and a Japanese transistor radio
S: It's the Mark 4 model - that's the one that's discontinued
C: On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A simulated alligator wallet
C: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
green polka dot pajamas and a Japanese transistor radio
S: And it comes with a leatherette case with holes in it
so you can listen right through the case
C: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
C: A simulated alligator wallet, a calendar book with the name
of my insurance man, green polka dot pajamas and a
Japanese transistor radio
S: And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you can stick
in your ear and a thing on the other end you can't stick
anywhere because it's bent
C: On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A hammered aluminum nutcracker, and all that other stuff
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A pink satin pillow that said "San Diego" with fringe all around it
And all that other stuff
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: An indoor plastic birdbath
C: All that other stuff
S: And a Japanese transistor radio
C: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A pair of teakwood showercloths
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
S: A chromium combination manicure, scissors and cigarette lighter
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
On the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me
S: An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
C: And a Japanese transistor radio
S: On the twelfth day of Christmas although it may seem strange
On the twelfth day of Christmas I'm going to exchange
An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television
But not when you get it home
C: A chromium combination manicure, scissors and cigarette lighter
S: A pair of teakwood showercloths
C: An indoor plastic birdbath
S: A pink satin pillow that said "San Diego" with fringe all around it
C: A hammered aluminum nutcracker
S: A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
C: A simulated alligator wallet
S: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
C: Green polka dot pajamas
B: AND A JAPANESE TRANSISTOR RADIO
S: MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

[mykpart]

3. I saw Mommy smooching Santa Claus

Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She puckered up her lips, pleasure she was seeking
She missed his mouth and kissed his nose
And the doggone thing was leaking

I heard Mommy smooching Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Their smooching was so loud it work up Uncle Fudd.
It sounded like a cow pulling her foot out of the mud

Then I heard Mommy tell old Santa Claus
Santa, you have got to change your ways.
Go and get yourself a shave, and I will be your slave
Kissing you is just like smooching Gabby Hayes!

[mykpart]

4. Chipmunks Roasting On an Open Fire

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight

And now when Santa sees his tray
There’ll be some homemade chipmunk jerky
for his sleigh
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry

And so I’m brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let’s hope they get served many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks, good food

[TOhioLiberal]

5. the 12 pains of Christmas...

...by the ever twisted Bob Rivers:

The first thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree,

The second thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
rigging up the lights,
and finding a Christmas tree,

The third thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
hangovers,
rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas tree,

The fourth thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
sending Christmas cards,
hangovers,
rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Five month of bills,
sending Christmas cards,
hangovers,
rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws,
five months of bills,
I hate those Christmas cards,
hangovers,
rigging up these lights
and finding a Christmas tree,

The seventh thing a Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
the Salvation Army,
facing my in-laws,
five months of bills,
sending Christmas cards,
ohhh geeez,
I'm tryin to rig up these lights!
and finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
(kids voice) I want a transformer for Christmas,
Charities and what do you mean your in-laws?
five months of bills,
uh makin up these cards,
get me a beer huh,
what we have no extension cords?
and finding a Christmas tree,

The ninth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
finding parking spaces,
(kid) daddy I want some candy,
donations,
facing my in-laws
five months of bills,
writing out those Christmas cards,
hangovers,
now why the hell are they blinking?
and finding a Christmas tree,

The tenth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Batteries not included,
no parking spaces,
(kid) buy me something,
get a job you bum,
facing my in-laws,
five months of bills,
yo-ho sending Christmas cards,
oh-geez look at this,
one light goes out they all go out!
and finding a Christmas tree,

The eleventh thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Stale T.V. specials,
batteries not included,
no parking spaces
(kid) mum I gotta go bathroom,
charites,
she's a witch I hate her,
five months of bills,
oh, I dont even know half these people,
oh who has the toilet paper?
turn the flashlight on I blew a fuse!
and finding a Christmas tree,

The twelfth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
singing Christmas carols,
stale T.V. specials,
batteries not included,
no parking,
(kid crying),
charities,
gonna make em dinner,
five months of bills,
I'm not sending em mister that's it,
shut up you,
you're so smart you rig up the lights!
and finding a Christmas tree.

see the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSoFYdK0xsI. The words just don't do it justice!

[buddhamama]

6. excellent

this song is a hoot! :)