Naked Man On Crack Loses Arm In Alligator Attack

[matcom]

<snip>

LAKELAND, Fla. -- A 45-year-old man was hospitalized after four sheriff's deputies rescued him from the jaws of a nearly 12-foot alligator Wednesday, while he was naked and high on crack cocaine.

The Polk County deputies were responding to multiple calls about a man yelling for help at about 4 a.m. They could not shoot the animal because it was too dark and they might have hit the victim or one another, the sheriff's office said.

Adrian J. Apgar was taken to the hospital in critical condition with an apparent broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm hanging by a tendon. Hospital officials did not immediately release information about his condition.

"It is an incredibly bacteria-filled environment that he was exposed to," Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

It was not clear why Apgar was in the lake. Judd said Apgar was naked and told deputies he had been smoking crack.

The deputies -- Michael Parker, Billy Osborne, David Clements and Sgt. Andrew Williams -- carried Apgar about 40 feet, up a steep incline and to an ambulance ashore. None of the four was injured in the gator-infested waters.

"I remember him saying, 'I'm over here, get here quick, he's still got me, he's going to kill me, my arms are broken,"' Parker said.

The deputies' boots sunk in mud with each step they took, and the water lapped chest-high on some. It took several efforts to get the 6-foot-1, 250-pound man out of the water even after the gator let loose because they were exhausted. They had to find the man by sound, through thick brush and cattails in the middle of the night.

http://www.wftv.com/irresistible/10421820/detail.html

[xchrom]

1. oh. my.

[bmbmd]

2. I heard this on Mike and Mike (ESPN 2) this morning

and immediately thought:

"Matcom".

[matcom]

3. LOL! The Naked part or the Crack part?

:rofl:

[bmbmd]

5. I just knew it would be in the lounge by lunch.

nt

[madinmaryland]

4. I guess he could have lost some other body part...

:scared:

What a moran.

[Orsino]

6. Any story that begins with "naked man on crack"...

...probably isn't going to end with the acceptance of the Nobel Peace Prize. However, that may simply highlight the need for a new category of award.

[JoDog]

7. Listen to the press conference

I heard it on the radio driving in to work. Somebody (I think the sheriff) had the line of the year:

"He was nekkid. What we in Polk County call 'buck nekkid'. He didn't even have socks on."

[Elidor]

8. Even before I got to the word "alligator," I knew...

Florida.

[SOteric]

9. Oh matcom, - I'm sooo sorry! - How are you able to type?

:7

[Book Lover]

10. It doesn't get any better than this!

Will there ever be another headline so perfect for Matcom's daily news briefings?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. There once was a nude man on crack,

Who lost his arm in an attack,
When a gator nearby
Spied the man who was high,
And thought he'd like drugs with his snack.

[matcom]

12. ....

:rofl:
:rofl:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. brilliant!

[Deja Q]

14. The subject line rhymes!

:woohoo:

[zanne]

15. It had to be you, Matcom.

I knew even before I glanced at the username. We can always count on you for news of the Weird. Keep it up!