So if you asked a guy out

[XemaSab]

and he said he was too old for you, is there any hope? :shrug:

[gr8dane_daddy]

1. He's gay...

if a younger gal asked me out, I wouldn't hesitate! :applause:

[Deja Q]

55. Same here!

:D

I'm like Mikey, I'll eat anything! (man, that "Life Cereal" commercial is just beggin' to be parodied...)

[XemaSab]

56. Oh geez

This is teh lounge... you might want to check yourself before matcom sees this. :eyes:

[SPKrazy]

2. He's Either A Moran

or ? :shrug:

don't know what to tell ya

[skygazer]

3. I would say there's not much hope

Just because (though I hate to generalize) in my experience, guys don't often say no. :shrug:

[Meshuga]

4. What are the ages we are talking about here?

:-)

[u4ic]

5. Whatever the excuse,

it sounds like a no thanks...

Just how old is this guy?

[Xipe Totec]

8. Now there's a beaver I could love!

Uh, love your sig...

:blush:

[u4ic]

10. .

:loveya:

[Xipe Totec]

11. ...

:hug:

[XemaSab]

14. He's about 20 years older than I am

The full explanation is that he wants a woman who already has had her damn kids, 'cause he doesn't want any more damn kids. :shrug:

[u4ic]

15. Who says

every woman wants kids? Did he even ask you if you want them?

For that matter, it's a date, not a lifetime commitment...

[XemaSab]

16. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking

Like "why is this an issue?" :shrug:

[u4ic]

28. Sounds like

he's already got his mind made up for you...


I don't think it speaks highly of his communication skills, nor his general receptivity to other people's wants and needs. And quite possibly an over-reactor.

[Omphaloskepsis]

29. How old are you?

If I'm thinking of the right person you look young. Maybe he doesn't want to deal with shit like, "How cute, you are going to the movies with your daughter on a Friday night."

[XemaSab]

30. I'm in my late 20s

:P

[baldguy]

48. Are you asking him to be the father of your children?

Or are we just talking dinner here?

[XemaSab]

51. Dinner.

Just dinner. :P

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

6. Whatever the reason, sounds like dude is saying "not interested".

Whether or not the age is really the reason probably doesn't matter.

[Skittles]

32. that's my take too M

yup

[Xipe Totec]

7. Nope,

He is an idiot beyond hope.

Unless you're under age, in which case that's a different story....

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. There is hope

that you will meet a really nice guy who doesn't think he's too old for you.

:hug: The other guy would probably be a real stick-in-the-mud if he thinks he's too old for you. Don't even fret your li'l head about it. It's his loss, totally.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. Forget him, my dear Xema.........

It's his loss......

The right one is out there someplace........And you will find him!

:hug:

[AlCzervik]

13. move along, forget him.

too old-horseshit.

[Kali]

17. Is this the first time you've asked him out?

Maybe it has been an issue for him before. MIGHT (in caps) be worth another try...after that, eh, just take his word for it.

[XemaSab]

18. It's the first time I asked him out

and he said it's why he broke up with his last girlfriend. :P

[The Traveler]

19. Hmmmm .... I was just on the flip side of this situation

My inner experience of the situation may or may not apply. I had/have two chief concerns. First, that I would get emotionally involved right around the time she realized that there IS a down side to dating someone 24 years her senior and b) that many of the things that were important to her would be unimportant to me and vice versa, which would contribute to the likelihood of a).

Hmmm ... some discussion might demurk the waters. On the other hand, it might not. How much emotional risk is this worth to ya?

[XemaSab]

23. These reflections of yours are interesting

So if you were me, how would you talk the guy into... er... allay his fears? :D

[The Traveler]

24. Welllllll, you could ...

get him drunk and take advantage of him?

:rofl:

Sorry. Someone should probably smack me.

I'm trying to think what kind of approach might work on me. I think I would have to know dude better to be able to make any but the most general of suggestions. Hmmm ... how well do you know dude?

[XemaSab]

25. That's what my friend said!

:rofl:

"Alcohol is a great social lubricant."

I know him sorta well. We're in a discussion group together. But we've never spent more than a few minutes mano a mano.

[The Traveler]

31. Hey, instead of suggesting a date

Why not just suggest getting together for a couple of drinks after work or something? A social setting but low key. Suggest a place he would know that is neighborbood barish. Have a couple drinks and just talk about whatever. And see what happens.

Sorry it took me a while to get back to ya ... nodded off there for a minute. I think I better hit the road to dreamland.

**On edit** G'nite, XenaSab. Whatever happens I hope ya have fun!

Trav

[XemaSab]

34. We're going out to dinner on wednesday "as friends"

so we'll see.

[The Traveler]

40. Uh, did you say

**dinner**????????

Heh. In the long run, he's toast.

:evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

41. Yeah, dinner.

Sushi even. :D

[The Traveler]

42. A little sushi, a little sake'

He's toast I tell you. There is no way he cam resist your considerable charms under those conditions.

:evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

43. Here's hoping

:toast:

[Richard Steele]

20. NO. I'm sorry, but NO! nm

[Breeze54]

21. He's married or involved.

Forghetaboudit!

[Wapsie B]

22. If I had a woman ask me out,

let alone a woman as beautiful as you I would think that time has stopped and the world as we know it has come to an end.
If a man gave that kind of excuse he's either playing with you, trying to keep you off-guard, or he's nuts. Either way, move on.

[petronius]

26. He's either telling you he's not interested, or he's a total git

(And if he's not interested in you, he's a total git anyway.) Either way, move along to worthier pastures...

[necso]

27. If that's the real reason,

then maybe.

Perhaps you should try asking him out for something very casual.

Generally, if you really want something, be persistent, but not too pushy. (However, if he's not interested, and was just using a convenient excuse, then it could get painful.) And be forthcoming about your perspective on the age-difference (apparently no big deal).

In the end, you have your way of looking at it -- and he has his.

And while he might not take-up your perspective (on age differences) generally, he might take it up as far as you are concerned.

[Porcupine]

33. Move on.

From what I know you are quite the catch so why are you chasing somebody who is declaring himself unavailable to you? I know men are generally idiots on things romantic but are there no other options?

Give some other guy a chance. Lord only knows half the lounge lights up when you post so that must be some indication of your desirability. Try one of those flesh and blood types that you keep tripping over.

Or, shudder, there's always internet dating sites.

Now pick another one before you confuse us poor souls here in the lounge.

:eyes: :spank:

[Bassic]

35. I think so.

Try again.

If he's just not interested, there's nothing to be done, but igf he's just worried about age, he can be swayed, probably.

[Lowell]

36. He's an idiot

Personally I think age is a pretty lame measure of a persons worth. I enjoy the company of people from all age groups. It is intellect that is important, not chronolgy.

[LSK]

37. you be cheatin' on me now?

:popcorn:

[XemaSab]

39. Yup.

You're too old for me.

:popcorn:

[LSK]

44. Well its obvious

that you are too young for me!

:popcorn:

[XemaSab]

46. For sure

You need to go cruising an AARP meeting to meet suitable women. :P

[LSK]

49. shit no, the funeral homes are where its at!

:P

[XemaSab]

50. Puritan cemetaries are even better.

:popcorn:

[LSK]

52. Puritan cemetary sex

Dont knock it unless you've tried it!

:D

[XemaSab]

54. So to speak

:P

[MissMillie]

38. He probably thinks you're too young for him

I'd say he's just not interested.

[wildhorses]

45. DON'T ask guys out--just DON'T do it

you're just asking for trouble:P

[XemaSab]

47. He's the first guy I have asked out in four years

:P

The last time it was trouble. :cry:

[wildhorses]

59. those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it---

just sayin';)


good luck and let us know how it goes wed. nite:hi:

[XemaSab]

60. Uh... so you're saying I should never again ask out a guy?

:shrug:

I promise you, it's gone much better this time around. So far. :hide:

[wildhorses]

61. xemasab--i just wish you better luck with it than i ever had--

as for me...no, i let them ask me out:shrug:old fashioned of me but, it seems to work better for me that way ymmv


i am sure you will have a good time tomorrow:hug:

[chknltl]

53. He is too young for you

I love it when a 23 year old young lady asks me out...(she is my step-kid and we share tastes in fancy resturaunts and more importantly she knows this about me: I ALWAYS buy).

...it is never good to turn down a young ladies invites so I am guessing that this guy has issues...what little advice I may have for you is: don't take it personal, the fact that you are willing to ask a guy out shows that you are a rare lass indeed! His loss - Your gain!
Hold your head up and let his ship steam on past.

[gmoney]

57. Maybe it's an LA Story kind of thing

In that movie, Steve Martin dates a much younger woman who is supposed to embody every man's fantasy, but he finds that they really don't have much in common once the sex is over, so he decides to pursue the woman who's only SOMEWHAT younger but a better match.

Now granted Xemasab, you're not some airhead Valley Girl like in that movie, but if he's just coming off an unsuccessful relationship with a much younger woman, he may be figuring the problems in that relationship were a product of the age difference, so why travel that path again? After a certain age, deciding where to spend ones time and energy can be a more deliberate thing, and if he feels there's not much long-term potential, he may not want to invest the time, even if there's the potential for some fun and excitement in the short term.

I'm actually seeing a woman about 16 years younger than me, who hangs with friends 4-5 years younger than her. It was an ego boost initially for me, but as time has passed, that's being overshadowed by some fundamental incompatibilities.

That said, I'd go out with you in a minute. ;)

[XemaSab]

58. Aww, you're sweet!

What are the fundamental incompatibilities? :shrug: