VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:29 AM
Original message |
I signed by best friend up for a MySpace account |
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No, she doesn't know that I did it yet.
Why? you ask. Because she has shut out all of her friends since her fiance died. She immediately hooked up with another guy and moved across country to Austin. I love her and I tried to be there for her. I seriously called her every single day with no answer. Lately, when she has tried to contact me, which has been twice in the last 6 months, it's because of some horrible crisis in her life. I love her and I won't judge her for the things that she does, but I will tell her the truth as I see it.
I think that she has fallen into a depression, got involved in a rebound relationship, moved across the country, and now she has no idea who she is because she won't let anyone in. I wanted to do something to change that for her. I think that if she hears from some of her old friends that she will slowly come back around to who she really is, and not a depressed and lost soul. I love her as my sister. She is my family no matter what. I just want to help her and I couldn't think of a better way at the moment. I think it's important for her to feel like she is loved and cared about by others who may seem forgotten.
To be clear, I did not verify her account. I left that up to her because I don't have her email password, but I did add myself to her friends list so she would see my face.I don't know.
Did I do the right thing? Is it too intrusive or presumptuous?
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Forkboy
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:36 AM
Response to Original message |
1. I can only speak for myself |
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but if one of my friends did that I'd be pissed. :shrug:
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:40 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
4. Even if it wasn't done with malice? |
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It was more a convenience thing because I don't think she actually has the time to do it. And she doesn't have to verify her account and it will be deleted.
I guess I should have asked instead of told before I made my decision. Too late for that now, but I can apologize.
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Forkboy
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:43 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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I understand your motives,but it seems just telling the person how you feel,either directly or through a letter or email,would be much better than this.
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:44 AM
Response to Reply #6 |
Forkboy
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:47 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
13. I was just going to edit my last post |
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to tell you that I'm certainly no expert on these things,and that this is just how I'd take it.Your friend may see it differently.
If you've done both and gotten no response you might have to just respect her wishes,no matter how misguided you think they are.In the end it's her life and her decisions.As a good friend just be there when and if she sees things your way.
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:50 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
14. Thanks for your input. |
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It's good to hear all sides and prepare before I get her response. I only did this an hour ago and she won't answer me til around noon.
Thanks, again.
:hug:
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Omphaloskepsis
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:37 AM
Response to Original message |
2. I would be pissed if someone did that to me.. |
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Edited on Wed Feb-21-07 06:40 AM by Omphaloskepsis
Myspace is a cesspool (flame away, it is). The only idea can be a shitty idea. A nice e-mail would have worked. You have opened a huge can of worms.
On EDIT: what Forkboy Said...
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:43 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
8. I did write her a nice email. |
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I just thought that being in touch with some of her old friends would help her.
I don't think the can is going to be that huge if there is one at all.
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MissHoneychurch
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:39 AM
Response to Original message |
3. You did the right thing |
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and you leave it up to her after all to verify the account.
You are still there for her and I hope she does know what that mean. Good luck to her and you!! You are a good friend.
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:42 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
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I don't think she will be mad. If anything, she would just blow it off and tell me she forgot.
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MissHoneychurch
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:43 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
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we don't. You know how she would react. If you'd think she would be pissed I doubt you would have done it.
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:44 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
11. No, I would never intentionally hurt or piss off anyone. |
Omphaloskepsis
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:44 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
10. Now myspace has her e-mail. |
VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:46 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
12. I get 1 spam every two weeks or so. |
Omphaloskepsis
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Wed Feb-21-07 06:56 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
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I get hundreds. Maybe your e-mail provider has great filtering. Post your e-mail addy and see how fast a bot signs you up for every porn mailing list.
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VenusRising
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Wed Feb-21-07 07:41 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
16. I didn't post her email address. |
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I used it to sign up for an account, just like I did mine, and my husband did his. Just because I use the email address to register for a site doesn't mean that I'm going to be spammed any more than it does because it's a publicly listed account.
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VenusRising
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Thu Feb-22-07 01:34 PM
Response to Original message |
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I got an email back a few hours ago, and she wasn't mad at all. She seemed rather happy about it. I feel like I did the right thing, and that this might help her find herself again. I hate that she has had to go through this difficult period alone, and now she won't have to anymore.
Thanks to everyone for their input. It means a lot.
:grouphug:
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wildhorses
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Thu Feb-22-07 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. good to hear--i wish her the best--positive vibes~~~~~~~ |
VenusRising
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Thu Feb-22-07 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
19. Thank you, wildhorses. |
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I don't know how she has dealt with this loss alone. She amazes me sometimes.
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