I've done a lot of things that I regret

[Droopy]

None of them being more grievous than missing the funerals of my grandparents on my dad's side.

They were from Tennessee. They were poor folks looking for a good manufacturing job when they came to Ohio. Grandpa found one when he went to work for GM. The job made them a decent enough living that grandma was able to stay home with the kids.

I spent a lot of time with them when I was a child. They influenced me so much so that even to this day I have somewhat of a southern dialect to the way I talk. They were good people if not the most educated. Neither of them made it past the 6th grade in school, but the education they got was very valuable them. My grandma in particular wrote very well and I remember several letters from her after they moved back down to Tennessee when grandpa retired.

Grandma went first. I think she was 77. She had some lung disease. I think it was cystic fibrosis, but I'm not sure. Grandpa went a short time later when he was 80. It was cancer.

I was crazy when they passed away. I saw my grandma shortly before her death when she was hooked up to an oxygen tank at her house. Despite my insanity it broke my heart. I didn't see either of them after that.

I didn't want the rest of my family to see the state I was in when they passed away. When I say I was crazy, folks, I really mean it. I spent three stints in psych wards. Still, I regret what I have done. I want to explain myself to the rest of my family. I'm better now, but I don't know if my dad's side of the family understands. I made up some lame excuse about having to work when my grandparents passed on. I know that probably sounds bogus to them but I can't tell them the truth. And I am really regretful about missing their funerals. I wish I could make my folks understand, but they likely never will even if I told them the truth.

Now that I'm sane I will never again miss important family functions. My family has been on my side when nobody else was. I love them all and I hope that I can be a good guy to them in the future. I'm not mean now. I'm not insane. I just hope that if there is an afterlife my grandparents can see this now and understand.

Love your folks if you can. Sometimes they're all we have in the world and I think a lot of people take that for granted.

[Robeson]

1. Great post, Droopy.

[Droopy]

3. Thank you

[MissHoneychurch]

2. Thank you for telling us your innermost thoughts and feelings

:hug:

About the topic, I agree 100% to love your folks if you can. Sometimes they leave this world earlier than you wish, actually it is always too early no matter how old they are.

But I would say don't punish yourself too much about not going to their funeral. I believe it is more important to remember them after they are gone. And you surely do that.

:hug:

[Droopy]

4. Thanks MissHoneychurch

I guess I'm kind of sad. I will try to fill my mind with good thoughts about my grandparents. Grandpa was almost a vegetarian. He loved his farm and the animals that he kept. I don't think he could stand to eat meat knowing intimately where it came from. He was so soft hearted.

[MissHoneychurch]

7. Droopy, it is OK to be sad

just don't punish yourself for things that are in the past.

Sounds like your grandfather was a very kind man.

[Guava Jelly]

5. You can never go back only forward

I feel for you.
When my mother passed away a few years back I hadn't seen her in a year and rarely talked to her on the phone.
The guilt I had was hard to overcome.
I only cried one time over the whole deal because I knew it would do no good.
And when i heard the phrase "She is in a better place" it angered me.
Since i believed being alive with her family is a better place than being dead.
Ah the reality of being an atheist .
Anyways.
You gave some very sound advice and I thank you for it.
People need to be reminded to call their parents and tell them they love them.

[Droopy]

6. I'm sorry, man

I didn't mean to dig up anyone's hurtful memories except for my own.

[Guava Jelly]

8. Don't be sorry i appreciate you bringing it up

People need to be reminded how precious life is