arwalden
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:48 AM
Original message |
What Will The Epitaph On Your Headstone Be? |
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Remember... it needs to fit on a grave marker or headstone... so 20 words or fewer.
I've always laughed at the one that says "I TOLD you I was sick!"... but if I had to write one now mine will probably say "Oh My Gay Stars!"
-- Allen
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LynneSin
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:49 AM
Response to Original message |
1. Allen, we're just going to engrave your duck on your tombstone |
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My parents & grandparents have scenic backgrounds on their tombstones so I think we can put your duck on yours.
And we'll have a looping tape of the Carwash LP playing at your site!!!
:P
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arwalden
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:24 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
20. And Endless "Carwash" Loop... That's Wonderful!!! Very Funny. |
LynneSin
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #20 |
26. People will fly from all over the world... |
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just to boogie at your tombstone!!
What a fitting ending!
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WillParkinson
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:50 AM
Response to Original message |
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And that's all he ever does...LIES, LIES, LIES!
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eek
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
6. I just want to be composted |
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no embalming, no stone Just organic matter for our pals, the Flora
(after anything useful is scooped out and recycled) :hippie:
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Kamika
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:51 AM
Response to Original message |
3. Here lies Sue Xxxxxxxx: |
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"HAH I got the last word!"
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7th_Sephiroth
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
DS1
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:52 AM
Response to Original message |
4. Damn, you're heavy, stop standing on me. |
HereSince1628
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:53 AM
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5. Do not open door while refuse is burning |
FunBobbyMucha
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:58 AM
Response to Original message |
7. Two Sting lyrics always struck me as headstone fodder. |
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"Woke up in my clothes again this morning..."
and
"After today, consider me gone."
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grannylib
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
9. *lol* good ones...I plan to be cremated, but if my survivors feel the need |
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to inter some ashes and have a place to go for remembering, I guess I would just like it to say something like what is on my daughter's: hers says "Loving Mother, Daughter and Fiancee" (she died right before the wedding) so mine could be wife, mother, daughter or something. Simple.
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quispquake
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:01 AM
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ret5hd
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:03 AM
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10. What an asshole...but some people kinda' liked 'im. |
Loonman
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:03 AM
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11. "I told you I'd shoot, but you wouldn't listen to me" |
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"why didn't you listen to me?"
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Bronco69
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:04 AM
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12. "If you think it's hot up there!" |
MissMillie
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:09 AM
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13. "Wow, that went by quickly...." |
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Actually, I want to be creamated, but I thought that would be a pretty good one.
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lovedems
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:09 AM
Response to Original message |
14. Sausage or Pepperoni? |
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Sorry, just couldn't resist from the commercials a couple years back. :)
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Mikimouse
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:09 AM
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15. Yo God! Wanna go double or nothing? |
underpants
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:10 AM
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moof
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:11 AM
Response to Original message |
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born ,##,##,19##
Escaped to sea
To rejoin the Circle of Life
##,##,2###
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Radical__Moderate
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:20 AM
Response to Original message |
18. What are you looking at |
bearfan454
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:23 AM
Response to Original message |
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A died in the wool Democrat and Chicago Bear fan from birth to death !
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Elidor
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:25 AM
Response to Original message |
21. "I was expecting this, but not quite so soon" |
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I forget who came up with that one.
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RandomKoolzip
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:26 AM
Response to Original message |
22. "HE COULDN'T STOP FARTING" |
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RANDOM W. KOOLZIP 1975-? R.I.P.
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arwalden
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:46 AM
Response to Original message |
23. I Recall Reading About A Headstone Epitaph Poem With "Fuckyou" ... |
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... as the first letters in each line of text. Like this:
For here lies our friend Under the earth who was Carried away by heavenly Kings and Queens... blah blah blah
Obviously those aren't the words... they don't even have the correct rhythm, syllable count, or rhyme. But you see what I'm talking about (I hope).
I don't know if it was real or an urban legend or a digital photo hoax... but I recall seeing a picture of it too.
Do you remember this?
-- Allen
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underseasurveyor
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
46. I've seen one like that....it says |
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John, Free you body and soul Unfold your powerful wings Climb up the highest mountains Kick your feet up in the air you may now live forever Or return to this earth Unless you feel good where you are
Missed by your friends.........
:evilgrin:
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bikebloke
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:53 AM
Response to Original message |
24. "I requested cremation, you eejits" |
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I read about something called a Natural Death Society (or close to that). They put you in a biodegradable box or cotton shroud for burial. Then plant a tree over top. Your body then nutures the tree. I like that idea. No worry about it now, as I intend to live to 130, just to spite any decendants I might have.
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LTR
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:57 AM
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25. I'll go out in a ball of flames |
Blue-Jay
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:00 PM
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27. "All things considered, it was a pretty good ride" |
Cat Atomic
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:03 PM
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28. When I get out of here I'm going to eat your brain. |
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Why not. Scare the kiddies.
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XNASA
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:04 PM
Response to Original message |
29. "Here Lies an Athiest.... |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 12:15 PM by XNASA
All dressed up and no place to go."
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arwalden
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
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Who would have guessed that hot coffee spraying out of my nostrils would be so painful!?
-- Allen
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FunBobbyMucha
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:05 PM
Response to Original message |
30. Warren Zevon's public statement when he found out he was terminal was |
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something to the extent of "Gee, I hate to not be here for the next James Bond movie." God, I love that man.
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Zomby Woof
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
37. Here lies a disruptor |
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And he was damn good at it! :evilgrin:
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terrya
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:13 PM
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32. "Now I'll know the ultimate unknownable" |
YNGW
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:13 PM
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33. Thank You For Coming By. Pardon Me If I Don't Get Up. |
Robb
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Fri Jan-09-04 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
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Mine:
Veni, Vidi, Oh Crap, I'm Dead. :D
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Doc_Technical
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
35. Hey, I'm out of here! |
bleedingheart
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:03 PM
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36. Finally...we are rid of her... |
ProudGerman
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:06 PM
Response to Original message |
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I don't plan on dying, at anytime. I'm gonna live forever.
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Deja Q
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:08 PM
Response to Original message |
39. "If I only had the guts to ask Bryan out for a date back in 1994..." |
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Long story. He's long since vanished anyway. :cry:
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SOteric
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:11 PM
Response to Original message |
40. Life is short. How is standing there sniveling going to add to yours? |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 09:12 PM by SOteric
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HEyHEY
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:12 PM
Response to Original message |
41. "Louie louie oooh nnooo baby I gotta go now..ya ya ya ya!" |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 09:12 PM by HEyHEY
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radwriter0555
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:32 PM
Response to Original message |
42. What a waste of stone and real estate! Toss me into the Pacific Please.. |
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After I've been TOASTED and ROASTED. I don't need to rot in the dirt.
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NightTrain
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:39 PM
Response to Original message |
43. I hope to die in a way that will make people laugh. |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 09:45 PM by NightTrain
For example, a fertilizer truck flipping over near me, causing me to suffocate in several tons of spilled manure. And my epitaph would read:
HE DIED AS HE LIVED--SURROUNDED BY BULLSHIT.
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rasputin1952
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:40 PM
Response to Original message |
44. "Damn, I should have listened... |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 09:41 PM by rasputin1952
when they said 'DON'T try this at home'"!
O8)
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VOX
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:41 PM
Response to Original message |
45. "He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw." |
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Or more likely, "At last Some Peace and Quiet!"
:toast:
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corporatewhore
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:52 PM
Response to Original message |
47. I I like emma goldmans Liberty will not descend to a people..... |
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Edited on Fri Jan-09-04 09:52 PM by corporatewhore
...a people mustraise themselves to Liberty." There is also graffiti on her gravestone "emma died for your sins" and smash the state http://flag.blackened.net/daver/anarchism/emma/emmagrave.htmlBut i also love her other famous quote "i dont want to be a part of your revolution if i cant dance"I dont want to be buried i think too much money for no reason i am already dead
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CanuckAmok
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Fri Jan-09-04 09:53 PM
Response to Original message |
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With a nod to Jim Thirlwell...
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Norbert
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:11 PM
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49. "God wants to see you and man is he pissed." |
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That ought to get a rise out of the living.
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GoddessOfGuinness
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:00 AM
Response to Original message |
50. GOG's ashes were scattered around this tree |
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She loves you all very mulch.
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NoPasaran
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:11 AM
Response to Original message |
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Have described the world in various ways The point is to change it
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Sacajawea
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:11 AM
Response to Original message |
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That's what I had put at the bottom of my dad's headstone. It seemed to sort of say everything. I think he would have liked it.
As for me, I intend to go the "Sopranos" route, like Big Pussy. Over the side of a boat and - poof - right back into the food chain.
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LibertyorDeath
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:11 AM
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53. I knew sooner or latter something like this was bound to happen. |
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It's Woody Allen's & it's great.
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ScreamingMeemie
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:13 AM
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nothingshocksmeanymore
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:15 AM
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55. Do headstones float? I'm gonne be fish food when I die. |
ScreamingMeemie
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:19 AM
Response to Reply #55 |
57. Ah we'll just tie you with a long rope to the hood of your car.... |
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #57 |
58. In that case it will say |
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She never strayed far from the hood of her car :D
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ScreamingMeemie
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #58 |
60. Heehee. Somehow that fits. |
havocmom
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:17 AM
Response to Original message |
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take your dog elsewhere to piddle
I used to walk past a cemetary in Tucson that was across the street from some townhouses with elderly owners. Seems most had tiny poodles and they all walked them to the nice grassy place across the street to do their dog business. Watching that reaffirmed my wish for cremation and the scattering of my mortal remains.
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Bertha Venation
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:22 AM
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59. "You people are full of crap. That's Mars!" |
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On a visit to the Griffith Observatory, Mrs. V., my niece and nephews, my sister Bonnie, and I were trying to determine whether a certain star was Mars. I, the family astronomy "expert" <ahem--strictly amateur> stated unequivocally that it was a star because it was twinkling. "Planets don't twinkle," I said arrogantly.
But every one, down to my 11-yr-old nephew, told me it was Mars and listed all the reasons why: color, size, time of year, time of night, position above the horizon...
That last one finally made me cut through my own bullshit and think: it's near the horizon. That's why it's twinkling. I grabbed the binoculars and took a good long look. Seeing that it was indeed the red planet, I tried to come up with a way to back down and apologize. I couldn't come up with anything, so I just took down the binoculars and started to walk away, saying, "You people are full of crap. That's Mars!"
I think they heard my family's laughter all the way down in the valley.
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LWolf
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:24 AM
Response to Original message |
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I want to be cremated, and I want my ashes scattered on a lonely mountaintop somewhere.
If I had a memorial, it might say something like,
"Closed for remodeling. Reopening by 2397, in a body near you."
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PartyPooper
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:26 AM
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62. Here Lies PartyPooper, I'm too pooped to party! |
WannaJumpMyScooter
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:34 AM
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63. Here Lies a Disruptor. |
GoddessOfGuinness
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #63 |
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Edited on Sat Jan-10-04 12:51 AM by GoddessOfGuinness
LTNS! :hi:
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WannaJumpMyScooter
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:05 AM
Response to Reply #65 |
67. been here and there, you know.... oddly enough most of |
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my posts seem to go by another name for some reason.... I post them under my name, and then they magically change to Deleted Message posted by someone named Name Removed... I can't figure it out.
How you doing?
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devilgrrl
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:59 AM
Response to Original message |
66. "Daughter · Sister · Agitator" |
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Or...
"What are you looking at!"
:evilgrin:
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solinvictus
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:08 AM
Response to Original message |
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"That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange eons even death may die."
Of course, when the stars are in alignment, I'll be back anyway to wreak a terrible vengeance on the sons of man from beyond the dead spaces between the stars. Wait, did I say that out loud or just think it..............?
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Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:24 AM
Response to Original message |
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Edited on Sat Jan-10-04 01:25 AM by Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered. Why should my body be taking up space when I have no further use of it?
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BurtWorm
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #69 |
70. I thought you were proposing something like the White Album |
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without the words The Beatles embossed on it, or any words at all. That would keep them guessing!
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solinvictus
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:36 AM
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71. Your Message or Advertisement Here for $9.95 per month |
BurtWorm
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:37 AM
Response to Reply #71 |
72. "If you were dead, you'd be home now." |
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Do you have to be from Boston to get that?
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Dogmudgeon
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Sat Jan-10-04 01:47 AM
Response to Original message |
73. Here lies the mortal Body of BKL ... |
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His head may be found at:
Cryolife Preservation Labs 322 Therion Blvd. San Sinsemilla, CA 94541 1-800-ICE-BABY
--bkl "Many are Cold, but Few are Frozen"
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Solly Mack
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Sat Jan-10-04 02:44 AM
Response to Original message |
74. "_____________, you really ought to get up" |
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Back-story
My mom went off to work on a weekend. Asked my sister and I to tidy up while she was gone. So, I did and my sister didn't...but
as my mother was coming up the walk, my sister saw her and picked up a cleaning towel... just as I sat down(from cleaning the whole time), my mother came in the door
She looks about, notices that someone tidied...spotted my sister with the cleaning towel and looked hard at me and said
"___________, you really ought to get up"
My sister smirked.....
We still laugh about it.
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Piperay
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Sat Jan-10-04 05:17 AM
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trip it's been. :shrug: :-)
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flamingyouth
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Sat Jan-10-04 09:40 AM
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76. (Desperately searching for pithy comment...) |
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After putting our cat to sleep yesterday, I have found this thread to be very cathartic and funny. I wish I had my sense of humor working today, or I'd come up with something. Well, it still is only 6:30 am here. :silly: I've totally been cracking up reading this - I really needed it. Thanks! :hi:
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Wed May 01st 2024, 09:50 AM
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