Dookus
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:21 PM
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Things to do while on a 24-hour timeout.... |
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Plot revenge.
Inventory your socks. Make a database!
Dress up your cats in little sundresses and have a tea party.
Name nine of your toes. Treat the tenth with disdain.
Decide on your least-favorite state once and for all.
Plot revenge.
Bathe your cats - 9 hours in the emergency room helps the day fly by.
Make a castle out of cheeze-its. Knock it down.
Learn three sexually suggestive phrases in a non-IndoEuropean language.
Invent a new sex toy. Get rich.
Write a gushing fan letter to a celebrity you hate.
Move all your furniture one inch to the left.
Plot revenge.
Take a nap at the mattress store.
Try to return yesterday's newspaper to the bookstore. Make a scene!
Check all your doorknobs for rust.
Plot revenge.
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Renew Deal
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:23 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Did you just come off of a "Time Out"? |
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BTW, I believe Matcom is already working on the sex toy idea.
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Dookus
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Sat Jan-10-04 02:20 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
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*updates sock database*
And DAMN YOU MATCOM!!
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SOteric
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:27 PM
Response to Original message |
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a) Revenge is a dish best served cold.
b) Whatever revenge you plot should not be twisted enough to get you banned.
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Dookus
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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I didn't say I'd DOOO anything. I just like to plot :P
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aQuArius
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:31 PM
Response to Original message |
4. Clip your dog's toenails and see if he'll eat them |
Feanorcurufinwe
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Fri Jan-09-04 10:32 PM
Response to Original message |
5. So what are the three sexually suggestive phrases? |
moof
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:02 PM
Response to Original message |
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to believe that you had that much time left over after
harrassing all the customers that left the local tunes shop
without a copy of that new Cindy CD in tow.
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Dookus
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
Lefta Dissenter
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:10 PM
Response to Original message |
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Must have been lonely!
HEY, I BOUGHT THE CD!!! Despite the fact that you REFUSED to reply to my question about the new Cyndi Lauper CD that you were pushing in the Lounge (now that I think of it, perhaps you didn't answer because you were banned? :) ) - I went to Barnes & Noble where I could listen to snips from the tracks, and INSTANTLY had to buy the CD!
It's AWESOME! Thank you SO much for the recommendation.
Too bad that girl doesn't have a whit of talent, huh?
My 20-year-old daughter came home while I was blasting it for the 58th time, and I told her, "See? THIS is what happens when pop stars finally grow up!"
So, thanks for the recommendation, and thanks for the laugh tonight!
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Dookus
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Fri Jan-09-04 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
8. good, I'm glad you like it... |
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*scratches Vote_Clark_In_WI from punch-in-the-neck list*
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JohnKleeb
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Sat Jan-10-04 02:25 AM
Response to Original message |
11. Listen to RFK speeches |
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:) Just heard the one he made when MLK died, :( very beautiful. ok theres - eat summer sausage - help Kleeb with his pathenic eye so he can get a permit - think of new dirty things to say and yes - plot revenge ;)
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ElsewheresDaughter
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Sat Jan-10-04 12:38 PM
Response to Original message |
12. instructions on "how to bathe a cat" and avoid 9 hrs in the ER |
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Edited on Sat Jan-10-04 12:41 PM by ElsewheresDaughter
HOW TO BATHE A CAT ===================
1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this)
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.
NOTE: for those literalists out there, I am not suggesting that you actually apply this method, as the cat hair is likely to clog your plumbing and result in an excessive bill from your local plumbing specialist.
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DU
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Tue May 07th 2024, 08:35 PM
Response to Original message |