MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 09:46 PM
Original message |
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The SO and I were discussing that he's good at most basic commands, but has never been great with "Stay". So I decided to work with him on it.
I fixed up a nice dinner for him (rice, gravy, turkey and his kibble). As I was preparing it, he was all excited, because usually he ONLY gets kibble. But I made him sit while I prepared it and every time he moved I stopped, looked at him and said "sit!". So he'd sit.
Then I put the bowl down, with me standing between him and the bowl and said "Stay".
He did. For about 5 seconds. He started to get up.
"Nuh uh!"
He sat back down. I was trying to count to 20, but after another 10 seconds, he was just crying and crying. I didn't crack. Then 2 seconds later, a giant line of slobber dropped out the side of his mouth. So I gave him an "OK - go!" and now he's a happy happy dog.
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hippiechick
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Mon Mar-19-07 09:49 PM
Response to Original message |
1. The only way to make my dogs cry ... |
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... is to put them in a closed room together a couple hours after they've each eaten leftover chili.
:rofl:
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driver8
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Mon Mar-19-07 09:52 PM
Response to Original message |
2. Ha Ha -- that's funny! |
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When I was a kid we had a dog who would slobber so much, you had to give him some of whatever it was you were eating!
Hey -- your pooch made it to 12, that's pretty good!!
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 09:57 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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we had a Great Dane when I was a kid. My Mom just followed the dog around the house with a rag to clean up the slobber.
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Truthiness Inspector
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Mon Mar-19-07 09:59 PM
Response to Original message |
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Minus the kibble of course, lol.
But then again, I did get caught eating kibble when I was a kid...
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:34 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
5. well you can have some |
Elidor
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:41 PM
Response to Original message |
6. Perhaps I read that wrong |
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Your SO is "good at most basic commands, but has never been great with "Stay." So you're working with him on this.
Keep up the good work and keep us up-to-date on his progress.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
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but you should see his "Come!"
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Fran Kubelik
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
Karenca
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
30. First command my poodle learned was to come. |
MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:39 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
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I think I saw that movie.
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Karenca
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
32. And what good movie it was! nt |
flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:51 PM
Response to Original message |
8. So then, what you're saying is |
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that proper training techniques escape you, and you choose to rather dominate your pet.
Nice. At least you're almost not abusive. Good for you.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
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not at all.
He's well-trained, just a little sloppy on the "stay". So I'm working with him on it. If by dominating him you mean I denied him his meal for 15 seconds, then color me dominant.
Seriously, you think it's abusive to make a dog sit for 20 seconds before getting his food? And you call ME ignorant of training techniques?
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flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:54 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
10. What you described isn't "working with him" |
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Take the rest of your strawman elsewhere.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
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you're not making much sense.
Why not explain how I can do it better?
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flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
12. I suggest you consult a professional. |
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I do believe they'll agree with what I stated.
Were I to try to explain how you "could do it better" then well, I'd be here all night.
Good night, MF. I hope all the strawmen sleep tight tonight.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #12 |
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I know lots about dogs. It's not abusive to make one wait for my command to be fed.
And what's the obsession with strawmen? That word doesn't mean what you think it does.
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flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:08 PM
Response to Reply #14 |
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good night, MF.
*This* stopped being worth my time. I'm sorry. I hope your boss understands.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
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this was NEVER worth your time. But thanks for playing.
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flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #18 |
20. One of the few times we've agreed. |
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Thanks for the support, MF.
Regards, Silly Boy
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
23. There used to be this one funny guy |
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here, who, whenever somebody would back out of an argument would figuratively spike the football and declare victory over the whimpy loser.
God, he was a dick.
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jpgray
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:26 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
24. To be fair I won all those arguments. |
MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
jpgray
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:30 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
26. This subargument isn't worth my time. Go screw one of your Ray Bolgers |
MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
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Haystacks Calhoun! Brush near the can, lithograph!
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jpgray
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
34. Helping the little poster along are you, my fine strawmen? |
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Well, stay away from him--or I'll stuff a mattress with you!
Conferrin' with the flowers was such a euphemism.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:18 AM
Response to Reply #34 |
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I'm just trying to find out what I did wrong.
I've been through obedience training with three dogs, and not once did the instructor ever tell me making them sit and stay until I released them was abusive.
In fact, I'm starting to suspect that the accusation above is pure bullshit.
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asthmaticeog
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:35 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
27. Wha? That's not even a straw man argument. |
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Looks like your stock lines are losing their effectiveness. Perhaps you should diversify?
Mark.
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flvegan
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:37 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
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Is that it? Don't you have a rep to live up to?
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asthmaticeog
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:43 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
33. A rep? None that I'm aware of. |
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Perhaps you could enlighten me.
Or, alternately, I might just go to bed, since all you'll do is post vague, ball-less, not-quite-insults so as to remain just barely non-deletable while demanding that I "back up" statements I've never even made.
:boring:
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
asthmaticeog
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:46 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
jpgray
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
asthmaticeog
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #37 |
jpgray
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
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Give your new mother a kiss!
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #42 |
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Meow meow meow meow mark meow meow!
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jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #43 |
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Bzzz bzz bzz boster bzz buzzz!
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #44 |
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That is not dead which can eternal lie!
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jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:08 AM
Response to Reply #45 |
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Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 12:08 AM by jpgray
IF from the public way you turn your steps Up the tumultuous brook of Greenhead Ghyll, You'd better back your shit completely up or find your strawmen sleeping more than ill.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #47 |
49. nice couplets, Stanford |
jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #49 |
51. It's blank verse with only incidental strawmen, Grape-smuggler. |
asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #47 |
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O Strawman, my Strawman! Our fearful bitch is smacked up, The ship has weathered every mark, the shit we claimed is backed up.
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jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #50 |
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Morning and evening Marks heard the posters cry: "Come buy our strawmen suits, Come buy, come buy:
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 06:30 AM
Response to Reply #53 |
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Oven head Now I'm dead
Paul!
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
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I'm gonna run down to the local watering hole, then come back and beat my dog. You hold down the thread in the meantime.
Go that by with, pipe!
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asthmaticeog
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #38 |
40. Care to back up your strawmark? |
Karenca
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #40 |
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This is the best thread. :rofl:
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #40 |
46. I'm back with up by, Scotty! |
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So Carl that shit down, tuna.
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:08 AM
Response to Reply #46 |
48. Near the village, the peaceful village! |
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The strawmen sleep tonight! Gus!
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datasuspect
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #33 |
CanuckAmok
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
58. At least he lets the dog eat what it wants. |
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Some people aren't so considerate.
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fudge stripe cookays
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #58 |
Karenca
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #66 |
72. Your dog knows what's NOT good for him - |
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Soy products are trigger foods for seizures in sensitive dogs....(among so many other problems).
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fudge stripe cookays
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #72 |
73. Well, he ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer... |
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but he knows that much! :D
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #73 |
87. The sharpest knife in the drawer would probably entice him to sit, though. |
PVnRT
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
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that certain people on this website are allowed to get away with saying anything the hell they want.
Perhaps you could explain to the rest of us non-PETA whackjobs how exactly he's "dominating" the dog. You know, since we're not "real" liberals like PETA freaks.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #62 |
75. I think he's just upset |
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that I didn't use tofurkey.
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Ariana Celeste
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #76 |
77. He's just jonesin' for some turkey |
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and he's pissed that I made him wait.
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Fran Kubelik
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:04 PM
Response to Original message |
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Stay was a hard one for ours to get too.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:10 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
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Edited on Mon Mar-19-07 11:10 PM by MonkeyFunk
My holistic vegan dog trainer suggested I try a little Reiki to get him to stay. But I was unable to manipulate the aura properly as the dog ran by me.
Then my homeopathic vet suggested I try one drop of amphetamine in 6,000 gallons of water, shake it up good, take one drop of that and put it in another 6k gallons of water and shake that up real good, then give the dog half a drop of the results. Still, he wanted to run to his food.
So I went to a Jungian dog psych who suggested my dog try to tap into the collective unconcious through his dreams, but when I tried to explain the process, he just licked his balls (the dog, not the psychiatrist, though I could tell you stories...)
So I watched Cesar Millan, a Mexican shaman. He just told the dogs to sit until he gave the command to go eat, and viola!
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Elidor
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
55. This thread delivers! |
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:thumbsup: I should have stayed to watch the fun, but I didn't know Sanctimonious Man would get in on the action.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #55 |
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only without the actual insect involved. Maybe an origami-spider-man.
You never know where he'll show up. One just hopes and prays.
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PVnRT
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
63. Did you try Atlantean power crystals? |
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Amphetamines are made by the OMG EVIL pharmaceutical companies who are conspiring with the BFEE, Peak Oil and Reverse Vampires control our minds with medicine and chemtrails. Fight the power!
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SouthoftheBorderPaul
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:05 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
Little Wing
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
GoneOffShore
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
80. You are one creative guy! |
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That is one of the funniest rants I've seen yet.
And I noticed that your tormentor has disappeared. Not that I knew who it was or what they were saying. : rofl:
But it was funny to read your responses.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #80 |
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Now I'm sore from shaking 6,000 gallons of water repeatedly.
And now I'm afraid to use my hot tub for fear of a speed overdose.
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Karenca
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:13 PM
Response to Original message |
19. I think someone is sexually frustrated. |
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I'm not talking about you.
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MonkeyFunk
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
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if you lived in fear of losing your nuts?
You WERE talking about my dog, right?
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Karenca
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Mon Mar-19-07 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #22 |
52. Whaddya mean "maybe"? |
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Back that up, with, by, down, aus, ausser, bei, mit, nach, seit, von, zu or gegenuber, wainscoting!
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wildhorses
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:23 AM
Response to Original message |
54. best-thread-of-the-night |
MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 05:58 AM
Response to Reply #54 |
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I just kicked my dog in the balls in honor of your statement.
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Little Wing
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:47 AM
Response to Reply #59 |
69. That will at least slow him down, and help on his "stay" |
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Probably deserved two kicks, but I'm no expert
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ronnykmarshall
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Tue Mar-20-07 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #59 |
MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #82 |
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I just had lunch.
But it does remind me of a great meal I had in Cancun.
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ronnykmarshall
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:13 PM
Response to Reply #83 |
85. Was it breaded in corn flakes? |
slj0101
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Tue Mar-20-07 07:46 AM
Response to Original message |
61. Carry the firewood back to the cabin, Dutch! |
PVnRT
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:48 AM
Response to Original message |
64. Everyone vote for this thread |
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It belongs in the hall of fame.
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Little Wing
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #64 |
68. great idea - it's a scream |
datasuspect
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #64 |
71. i like the part where "the biceps of justice" |
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got his ass whipped with a belt.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #71 |
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I would never beat an ape.
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:04 PM
Response to Original message |
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Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
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Ariana Celeste
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Tue Mar-20-07 01:07 PM
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this thread has had me cracking up since i first opened it
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JackBeck
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Tue Mar-20-07 07:45 PM
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:14 PM
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Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
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Little Wing
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:42 PM
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:43 PM
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Evoman
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
92. This is a joke...I'm not gonna get my ass kicked for it, am I? lol. |
jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #92 |
93. Just lounge silliness, says I. |
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I don't think anyone really means anything by it.
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HEyHEY
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:49 PM
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Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
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jpgray
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #95 |
96. To me it's another silly flamewar like cornflake chicken or Olive Garden |
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People get weird tempers over a non-issue, act silly, then calm down. With any hope, that is.
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JackBeck
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #96 |
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And fwiw, I wasn't talking about you.
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Evoman
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #98 |
102. Your going to put me on ignore? |
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Thats a bit harsh...I was just joking around.
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #92 |
Susang
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
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Words fail me. :applause:
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CanuckAmok
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
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There are no words.......
:rofl:
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ChavezSpeakstheTruth
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #86 |
Pithlet
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:58 PM
Response to Original message |
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I think we've all had enough.
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Pithlet
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Tue Mar-20-07 08:58 PM
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DU
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Tue May 07th 2024, 08:05 AM
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