asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:35 AM
Original message |
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I will begin:
Picking your nose lets the cancer out of you that demons put there.
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MissMillie
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:37 AM
Response to Original message |
1. always take more tylenol than the bottle recommends |
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I mean... who needs kidneys!
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datasuspect
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
8. inhalation of crushed tylenol is an effective cocaine substitute |
LynneSin
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
23. Tylenol and a 5th of Jack Daniel - good medicine |
mikeytherat
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:37 AM
Response to Original message |
2. Leeches are good to treat an imbalance of bodily humours. |
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Also, if it's a clear liquid, it can't hurt you.
mikey_the_rat
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Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
4. Who needs all that water blocking up important humour ducts... |
asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:43 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
5. Seriously. Blocking the humor ducts is what GD is for. |
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Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week...
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Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #5 |
11. Since we're talking humours here... |
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Which of the four bodily humours are the Freepers lacking?
Black Bile? Yellow Bile? Blood? Phlegm?
Is there a synthetic substitute they could be given... They're surely lacking one of them.
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
13. Blood. No shortage of bile or phlegm over there. nt |
Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
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Eureka! A medical genius!
Now, I've had this pain in my ass for the last six years... What's causing it, Doctor?
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asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:41 AM
Response to Reply #16 |
24. Hmmm, how long have you been with your current employer and/or SO? |
Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:38 AM
Response to Original message |
3. "Smoking reduces your reactions to airborne allergens". |
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I -actually- heard that one once.
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philosophie_en_rose
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:44 AM
Response to Original message |
6. All you can eat McDonalds buffets are the diet plans of the future! |
datasuspect
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:44 AM
Response to Original message |
7. when beset by demons (or other witchery) drive a hole in the side of the skull |
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to let loose the foul distemper.
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cloudbase
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:46 AM
Response to Original message |
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After all, billions of flies can't be wrong.
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NewWaveChick1981
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:46 AM
Response to Original message |
10. Always pour rubbing alcohol directly into cuts and scrapes. Doesn't hurt a bit. |
Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
12. I wasn't aware my Mom was seeing other patients... |
NewWaveChick1981
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:56 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
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:rofl: I think your mom and my mom must have gone to the same medical classes.. :P
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Hugin
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. "Who needs sutures when you have a sewing kit." |
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Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 11:15 AM by Prag
May have been an advanced course... I suppose. :D
To her credit, I never got an infection. I also didn't realize that aspirin was actually a pain killer until I was in my thirties. As, she would only give me a half when I was young... I thought it was ritual medicine. LoL!
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terrya
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:53 AM
Response to Original message |
14. Laudanum is good for what ails you! |
Little Wing
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:53 AM
Response to Original message |
15. Share your dog training techniques with the DU lounge for advice |
derby378
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:11 AM
Response to Original message |
19. Take vasopressin with ketamine, because you'll want to remember the experience |
skygazer
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:18 AM
Response to Original message |
20. Drink plenty of alcohol when taking narcotic pain relievers |
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It will help you sleep. O8)
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MorningGlow
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:31 AM
Response to Original message |
21. Something my EX doctor actually told me |
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"You were overweight as a child so you should expect to be overweight as an adult."
Never mind the 25 years in between when I was THIN, you asshole. Oh yeah--that, and my thyroid problem. Let's ignore that one; it's too much work to address it.
:eyes:
P.S.: Bitter? Who, me?
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Critters2
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
31. I once had a doctor tell me that low blood pressure in youth |
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is a predictor of HIGH blood pressure later in life. Wanted to put me on blood pressure meds when my pressure was 110/70.
Not my doctor anymore.
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5thGenDemocrat
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Tue Mar-20-07 11:40 AM
Response to Original message |
22. Don't worry about that pain in your left shoulder |
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You probably just twisted your back. It'll go away. John I did that one for two weeks. Turned out my right coronary artery was collapsing. Would've killed me dead dead dead in another couple of days.
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formerrepuke
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:01 PM
Response to Original message |
25. You can't get pregnant the first time you 'do it'.............n/t |
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Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 12:01 PM by formerrepuke
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Courtesy Flush
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:03 PM
Response to Original message |
26. Insurance doesn't pay for new shoes |
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But it does pay for new prosthetics. Lay your legs on the tracks, folks!
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tk2kewl
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:07 PM
Response to Original message |
27. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out |
LaraMN
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:10 PM
Response to Original message |
28. Pelvic exam advice, two words: "clench up." |
LynneSin
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #28 |
30. Don't forget to chill the 'Duck Face' before using it |
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Nothing like an ice cold 'Duck Face' when getting an exam.
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MonkeyFunk
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:11 PM
Response to Original message |
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homeopathy or chiropractic! My aunt swears by it!
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crim son
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:17 PM
Response to Original message |
32. Straight from my MIL. |
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Put your elbows in a sinkful of hot water to cure a headache. Also, drink a mixture of honey and lemon because it flushes away phlegm as it pours through the lungs. :crazy:
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Critters2
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:17 PM
Response to Original message |
33. Does it hurt when you do this |
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:banghead: ?
Well, stop doing that!
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bridgit
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Tue Mar-20-07 12:37 PM
Response to Original message |
34. ingesting hydrogen peroxide alleviates internal infection... |
asthmaticeog
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Tue Mar-20-07 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
Miss_Strawberry
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Tue Mar-20-07 09:27 PM
Response to Original message |
36. Having sex with a virgin |
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will cure AIDS and if you are a virgin you can have sex and won't get pregnant the first time.
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Scarlett17
(754 posts)
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:07 PM
Response to Original message |
37. Breastfeeding is great birth control. n/t |
ruiner4u
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:08 PM
Response to Original message |
38. It aint good if it dont bleed... |
qnr
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:10 PM
Response to Original message |
39. Bad light bulbs are hard on your eyes, and are generally due to dirty sockets; lick your fingers |
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Edited on Tue Mar-20-07 10:16 PM by qnr
and clean the sockets out. Or use a direct application of the tongue in those cases of serious dirt layers.
Note: Combo bad DIY and Medical advice!
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cobalt1999
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:14 PM
Response to Original message |
40. well whenever my wife complains of some aliment... |
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I always reply "You know, having sex will fix that right up". :)
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mentalsolstice
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:16 PM
Response to Original message |
41. Overtly & loudly burping and farting |
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burns a lot of calories...according to my college roommate (back in the late 70s).
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Cobalt-60
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Tue Mar-20-07 10:17 PM
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