BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:07 AM
Original message |
Best snarky response to when I am having kids? |
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So, there is a baby shower today at work. Yes, in RL I will sit there politely and eat sheet cake and ooh and ahh while inwardly snoring...I think. Still, the question always comes up, "when are YOU having kids?"
Let's figure out some fun responses. Mine for now is "I can't afford them....I work HERE."
Lounge powers activate!
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AllegroRondo
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:08 AM
Response to Original message |
1. Well, my husband and I tried 4 times yesterday..... |
taterguy
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:09 AM
Response to Original message |
2. When my husband can afford to get his vasectomy reversed |
SteppingRazor
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:10 AM
Response to Original message |
3. When I can get more for a baby on the open market |
BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #3 |
Maddy McCall
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:10 AM
Response to Original message |
4. Gawd, I hate work baby showers. |
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I'd say, "When the boss quits wearing a rubber, I guess."
:evilgrin:
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BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:13 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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:rofl:
You guys are cheering me up enough to tolerate the damn shower now, hehe.
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mzteris
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:27 AM
Response to Original message |
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"not anytime in the next nine months, anyway!"
Reminds me of a story (doesn't everything?):
Many many years ago, my (then)4 yo daughter told my mother's Sunday School class (a bunch of OLD ladies) that I was going to have a baby. As everyone gasped in astonishment - and my mother nearly fainted (I was divorced, you see....) my little darling continued, "just as soon as she finds another husband!"
:rofl:
Where THAT came from I'll never know.
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DBoon
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:37 AM
Response to Original message |
8. As soon as the eBay auction closes |
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the bidding for a healthy infant gets rather fierce you know
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ThatsMyBarack
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:37 AM
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ThomCat
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
17. They're beautiful babys. |
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:)
Raphael looks like a talkative one.
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ThatsMyBarack
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:52 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
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Sorry about the scary eyes. I hate it when that happens when I take pix.
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Arugula Latte
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:27 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
26. Oooh. That's some prime kitty belly ... Just askin' for a tummy rub! |
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And Raphael is gorgeous! :loveya:
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Little Wing
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:41 AM
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10. clear your throat and annouce that you both prefer the other option |
NMDemDist2
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:42 AM
Response to Original message |
11. when I was still of childbearing years I'd say |
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"he's fixed and i'm broken, but thanks for asking"
:evilgrin:
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ThomCat
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:52 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
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:applause:
I'm sorry about the broken part. :( But that really is a brilliant answer.
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NMDemDist2
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:12 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
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it sure made dealing with birth control choices cheap and easy :rofl:
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AllegroRondo
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:45 AM
Response to Original message |
12. "why, is yours for sale?" |
reyd reid reed
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:14 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
graywarrior
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:47 AM
Response to Original message |
13. My real reason for not having them was to stop the lineage of dysfunction |
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I took one look at my entire family when I was 8 and decided, nuh-uh. this is gonna stop.
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Commie Pinko Dirtbag
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:48 AM
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14. "As soon as I can find some fava beans and a nice Chianti" |
GoneOffShore
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:50 AM
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15. We were going to, but decided to have a dog instead. |
regularguy
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:51 AM
Response to Original message |
16. "I think I'll artificially inseminate right now... |
BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #16 |
texas1928
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Thu Mar-22-07 09:59 AM
Response to Original message |
20. I just look at people and say. |
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Edited on Thu Mar-22-07 10:00 AM by texas1928
Why have kids, My wife and just enjoy the practise to much.
Or if you really want to freak them out.
Make a comment about liking it in the A## to much.
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jobycom
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:01 AM
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21. Just say "Silly, women can't have kids!" and walk off. |
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Must look serious when you say it.
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formerrepuke
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:21 AM
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25. "..when they perfect human cloning.. I wanna raise myself right" |
Phillycat
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Thu Mar-22-07 10:36 AM
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27. Say, "I'm...I'm BARREN!" and burst out crying. |
skygazer
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Thu Mar-22-07 11:34 AM
Response to Original message |
28. None of your business |
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I hate that question - it's so nosy and rude. But if you prefer humor to snark, how about, "Well, since humans aren't on the endangered species list yet, we thought we'd hold off for a while."
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ileus
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Thu Mar-22-07 11:52 AM
Response to Original message |
29. Kids are the devil.... |
JackBeck
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:01 PM
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We keep trying, but I can't seem to get my husband pregnant.
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BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:07 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
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:rofl:
:thumbsup:
THAT one is good.
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RedStateShame
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:04 PM
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31. "Well, I'm really attached to sleeping late, having fun at night, and not spending my Saturdays... |
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...watching soccer played poorly alongside some crusty-eyed douchebags who couldn't bother to grab a condom.
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KitchenWitch
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:10 PM
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33. "When I finally grow up - which I don't intend to do for a LOOOONNG time!" |
myrna minx
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:13 PM
Response to Original message |
34. Are you coming onto me? |
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:rofl:
You poor thing...I loathe showers of any kind, especially at work.
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Phillycat
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Thu Mar-22-07 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
Redbear
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:17 PM
Response to Original message |
35. OH NO! I knew I forgot to do something! |
rug
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Thu Mar-22-07 12:46 PM
Response to Original message |
36. When I begin to dislike anal sex. |
BluePatriot
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Thu Mar-22-07 01:44 PM
Response to Original message |
38. **Update** The shower is over. |
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At least this one was short. The mom-to-be is my boss.
The last shower we had here was for the clerk who was from Malabo and didn't know about this particular American tradition. It was rewarding to see how touched she was by the gesture of us banding together to buy things for her baby. Even the smallest gifts made her happy.
Compare it to today -- my boss is so high maintenance, married rich, always wants the best stuff, etc. It felt like an obligation. Plus she wasn't or isn't going to invite me to her SECOND private shower which she has been planning while giving me busywork to do, but her little clique from work is "so totally going omg" *gag, high school* Not that I particularly want to buy her any more crap.
Actually no one pestered me at all, I just quietly sat there. The remarks were good for a laugh anyway :)
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DU
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Fri May 03rd 2024, 10:05 PM
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