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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:12 AM
Original message
My kitty Peewee passed away tonight
Edited on Sat Aug-02-03 12:56 AM by Jen6
Link to original thread about Peewee's decline (my 15 year old Turkish angora mix):http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=53519&mesg_id=53519

I went to the vet's tonight around 7pm to pick up Peewee, and they told me to wait because they were going to try a chest tap on him before sending him home (he had been in decline all day, temperature lowering and chest becoming more congested) The doctor felt that if he didn't do it at that time, that he would be sending me home with a kitty who was slowly suffocating. The nurse told Peewee "Peewee! Your momma's here! You're going home" like she has every day this week, but Peewee suddenly fought against the chest tap -a procedure that has always brought him quick relief-and went into cardiac arrest. They started CPR, and a nurse ran out and told me to come back with her. His eyes were huge and dilated, and his tail was puffed up. I stroked him and told him that his mom was with him, that I loved him more than I could ever say. They asked me if they should continue the CPR, and I said no. They put him in a blanket, and I stroked him for a long time. I didn’t want to let that tiny spent body go. I kissed him again and again and told him how much I loved him, trying to will life back into him. it was so hard to pass him back to the vet for the last time.
Peewee was unlike any other kitty I have ever known; his affection from a desire to give and receive love-not for want of food or anything else. His most loving time of day was right before I went to sleep. I would prop myself up on the bed to read, and he would ceremoniously walk onto me, and drape himself across my neck, purring into my ear and kneading my shoulder with his tiny paws (“kittyhugs”). I'm going to miss him so very much; our shared deep love for one another, his adoring purr, his excitement at seeing me walking in the door, his cheerful churr whenever I spoke to him, his soft-as-a-bunny fur, his tiny kneading paws, his scent of baby powder, his intelligence, wit, and loyal companionship ... I already do. I simply can't stop crying.

I want to thank all the wonderful Duers whose kindness, good wishes, and wise words helped Peewee and I through this very difficult week. You all made me feel much less alone. I know the coming days and weeks will be very difficult, but at least I’ve had my DU family to let me know they understand.
It’s not “just a cat” it’s a loving family member.

Jen

Peewee with his favorite toy (taken in the past few months)




Peewee churring and asking for a tummy rub



Baby Peewee with sibling Pip at their mother's owner's workshop in downtown Colmbus, Ohio:



Kitten Peewee posing in my dad's backyard in German village (he became agoraphobic and stayed indoors after that!):



A box full of love; Peewee and his siblings 1988:



Many thanks to SiouxJ for her hosting services for these photos.
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soleft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
1. So sorry Jen6
What an adorable kitty
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Lady Freedom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
2. I am so sorry to hear that!
He was so cute!
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demgrrrll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:22 AM
Response to Reply #2
10. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. This may sound corny but
Edited on Sat Aug-02-03 12:44 AM by demgrrrll
The pets in heaven site on the internet was a great comfort
to me <http://www.geocities.com/lorisgarden/PetsInHeaven.html>
when Joseph P. died.
Here is another poem that is comforting
<http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm>
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:08 AM
Response to Reply #10
47. Thank you Demgrrrlll
I'll check out the links when I can pull myself together.
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
3. I'm sorry
Damned good looking cat there. I'm sorry. You did good to be there for him. I've had to do that a couple of times. There is nothing worse.
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CarlBallard Donating Member (512 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
4. too bad
At least you have memories and great pictures.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
5. ~hugggggggggs~
I'm so sorry...
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newsguyatl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
6. what an amazingly beautiful kitten
jen,

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss... he was an absolutely beautiful kitten, and i'm glad you were able to enjoy what time you did have with him... sounds like he had one kick ass mother, too...

no more physical suffering for him though... it's gonna be a tough few weeks ahead for you... but just keep looking at those pics and remembering your awesome time with him... that'll help an immense amount...

again, i'm very sorry about your loss...


newsguy
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
26. Thank you newsguyatl
He was beautiful-inside and out, and even at age 13, stangers would ask "how old is your kitten"?

I really wish that I were less pragmatic; that I could believe in the big guy in the sky and that all things are eternal. I don't know what I believe, about anything. I just want my kitty back. :-(
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AngryYoungMan Donating Member (856 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
7. My favorite cat died suddenly, ten years ago
In 1993 my cat Mugsy died under awful circumstances. I'm not going to tell the whole story but it was pretty bad.

My point is just that I understand. I remember feeling a terrible, dismal sadness. It's important to realize that you're not alone—many people can comfort you because a lot of us have gone through this.

My current cat, Little Cat, is fast asleep on my armchair, a few feet away. He's wonderful and I love him. Very different from Mugsy. It took me years after Mugsy's death to finally get another cat --- I know it's hard --- but I'm glad I did.

A cat is a friend for part of the journey of your life.

That's all they ever will be. A friend for one part of your life; during that time you have a love back and forth that is very strong and very real. It sounds like Peewee was a good friend and the love you shared was very strong. I'm sure, at the end, that your love was just as clear to him as his was to you.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:06 AM
Response to Reply #7
22. So sorry for mugsy
but yes, you are right, I will open myself up to a new kitten someday. I've got plenty of love to give, and there are millions of little furry someones searching for those to love in return. I'm keeping myself open too the possibility, but right now the only kitty in the front of my mind is Peewee; was it wrong to take him to the vet this morning? Did he know I was there as he was leaving his body? He looked so terrified lying there-it tore my heart out. That's an image that will stay with me for years. I've dug up all the old, faded pictures to try to remember far better times instead
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GCP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #22
80. Jen, I'm so sorry about PeeWee, but no, you weren't wrong to take him
You thought you were doing the best for him. How could that be wrong?

I'm sure he knew you were there with him at the end, hearing is the last sense to go.

Losing a beloved pet must be almost as bad as losing a child. We're all here for you, and many of us have gone through this with pets of our own, so we know and you know that time will soften the blow, and sometime in the future you will love another cat again, maybe not the same as you loved PeeWee, but love it anyway.

Anyone who can't love an animal is not fully human IMHO.
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Fovea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
8. Bast bless.
May Peewee's love rest safe in the arms of your memory.
May Peewee join the spirit of Cats in the big field of Catnip.
Blessed Be.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
9. this breaks my heart..
I am so sorry Jen.. those pictures are killing me as he looks just my cat spanky. And Spanky is the same temperment, always stays close to me at night, loves the belly rubs etc.. He is sitting here now probably wondering why I am crying!

I hope peewees memory always lives in your heart and the grief you are feeling subsides soon and you only feel the warmth of his memory.

again.. so sorry to hear this.


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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:52 AM
Response to Reply #9
18. Thank you nini
do you have a picture of Spanky? I've never seen another like Wee, and it would be comforting to know that there were similar kitties out there

I wish I had more photos of Peewee in his prime, but once he grew up, he believed the Nikon would steal his soul-but he didn't feel that way about the new digital camera.

many thanks to the well wishers here. I'm not very focused tonight, but your kind words are making me feel a little less alone. My God, the house feels empty! I have another cat; Peewee's pet Miro. Yeah, Peewee even had his own pet! A 24 pounder with the intelligence of lint-but he's a very sweet kitty. No kittyhugs from Miro-he would suffocate me. I don't know how he's going to hadle it without Wee-he's already searching for him around the house, and it's just breaking my heart.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #18
69. 24 pounds?!?!? whoa! :-)
Miro sounds like a bruiser! how funny... I like the intelligence of lint comment.. sounds like my older cat fluffy.. kinda dumb- hah

I don't have any pics of Spanky in electronic format, but I will use my digital camera tomorrow and get some to you so you can see the similarities. A friend of mine also has 2 cats that are similar. Her two were strays.. I had a girl cat that looked like Spanky years ago but she was killed when she fell asleep under a car (she rarely even went outside) :-( About a year after that a friend's cat had kittens and when I saw him in the litter that was it because he looked like the one that had been killed. 6 weeks later he was home with me.. he's 7 now.

I hope things are better today now that the worst stress of it is over. I will get a pic to you as soon as I can - Hopefully tomorrow (Sunday). take care.

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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #69
72. I'll look forward to the picture
Thanks nini.
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nini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #72
85. Hi Jen... here's some pics...
he wasn't extremely cooperative but I tried to get enough shots so you can see the similar markings.. as you can see his belly has made me put him on lite food! all of a sudden he has the middle age spread

In case I mess up posting the pics.. here's the addres to the yahoo/photo site where I have them http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/noninima -- under Pets

?bcZzWL_A7pJrvxJV

?bcZzWL_A_81wgZoJ

?bcZzWL_Azqd4a_PJ



I hope you are doing well and things are getting less stressful for you.

nini
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ornotna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:23 AM
Response to Original message
11. Sorry to hear that.
Hope your ok.
Nice pics, thanks
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Sperk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:26 AM
Response to Original message
12. How dreadful! I'm sure you're little friend wil be sorely missed!
(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Maybe at the appropriate time, you'll feel ready to share you're love with another little kitty. God knows there is always another cat waiting to bring love into a humans life!

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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:31 AM
Response to Reply #12
28. I hope I can Sperk
I Hope that one reaches out and touches me as Peewee did all those years ago. I only recently discovered that Peewee really WAS special; his mom, the beautiful Turkish Angora, is a rare breed known for it's intelligence, wit, and the powerful bounds they make with only one or two people in there lifetimes. They are even considered National treasures in Turkey, where it is said that the have the "touch of Allah"-but not to worry, he was also in part an all American shorthair (that mom had met in the alley)! but I'm sure that other truly special cats are out there waiting. Maybe one will adopt me someday.

(((hugs))) to you too.
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grytpype Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
13. My condolences.
It's very hard to lose a beloved pet, you have my sincere condolences.
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blackcat77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
14. All my sympathies, Jen.
No words are sufficient, so just please accept my thoughts and prayers in this difficult time.
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Catshrink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
15. I'm so sorry.....
Peewee was a beautiful little kitty. My heart aches for you. I remember how empty I felt when my little Suzie Princess died a few years ago. Anyone who says "It's just a cat" has never really bonded with a pet.

Kinky Friedman had a wonderful epilogue to his book "Elvis, Jesus, and Coca Cola" about his cat Cuddles who died:

<snip>
"A few days ago I received a sympathy note from Bill Hoegenmeyer, the veterinarian. It opened with a verse by Irving Townsend: "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle..."

"Now, as I write this, on a gray winter day by the fireside, I can almost feel her light tread, moving from my head and my heart down through my fingertips to the keys of this typewriter. People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

"They say when you die and go to heaven all the dogs and cats you've ever had in your life come running to meet you.

"Until that day, rest in peace, Cuddles."

link:
http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/elvis.htm
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #15
46. That was beautiful
and so true. I just woke up, still crying, and clicked on your post.
Thank you Catshrink.
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
16. I am so sad for you tonight
You will stop crying eventually but your loss is very deep. It is every bit as difficult as losing a person. Some don't get that but apparently DU does. Actually, it is often harder since they give so much. I don't know what to say because I know that nothing will help right now. I am so sorry.
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Maccagirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:47 AM
Response to Original message
17. As a fellow cat-lover and Columbusite
I can only extend my heartfelt condolences. You gave your beautiful boy a good life, and was there when he needed you. Time will heal-be gentle with yourself.
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liberalmuse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:52 AM
Response to Original message
19. What a precious cat!
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's heartbreaking to lose a friend like that. No one greets you at the door, or raises your spirits like your beloved pets do.

A co-worker of mine lost her cat, Oscar a couple weeks ago from colon cancer. She had him for 17 years. She talked about him all the time and it was so sad to see her come into work in the mornings knowing she'd been crying all night. Oftentimes people don't understand the very real, deep bond that can form between a person and their pet. You don't usually get sympathy cards if your pet passes away.

She got a nice paw print from the vet, set in plaster, with his name engraved below. I made her a gift basket and found this wonderful little book titled, 'For Every Cat An Angel'. I recommend it. She has since rescued a new kitty out of the pound.

I wish you all the best.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 02:09 AM
Response to Reply #19
35. Thanks for the kind wishes liberalmuse
It's good to know that there are other good souls out there who understand that particular interspecies bond.

The vet is going to try to make a plaster cast of his paw for me too. They gave me a tiny bag with trimmings from his grey and white fur, so that I would never forget his soft touch. It's not much, but it's precious to me.
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AnnabelLee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
20. I'm so sorry, Jen6
So very sorry. I grieve with you, & I am in tears looking at the pictures of your precious baby Peewee.
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iluvchicago86 Donating Member (422 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:02 AM
Response to Original message
21. Whats a precious kitten!
Oh dear I am sorry for your loss. Lots of love...:hi:

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opiate69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
23. I am so sorry....
Edited on Sat Aug-02-03 01:07 AM by opiate69
Words escape me, since I don't really know you, but know that I am grieving with you tonight. The passing of pets always kinda hits me hard.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
24. I'm really sorry for your loss Jen!
You're in my thoughts. :-(
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madmax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:09 AM
Response to Original message
25. So Sorry
You gave him a good home and lots of love and he in turn reciprocated. Think of the love and treasure it.

hugs ((((((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))
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Skip Intro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:21 AM
Response to Original message
27. Jen
Edited on Sat Aug-02-03 01:43 AM by nu_duer
Damn, I wish I knew something to say to make this better for you. All of us who cherish our pets and take on the responsibility to protect and nurture them and see to their well being and happiness will eventually face this day. It was his time to go.

This life is transient for every living thing. Its obvious no one could have loved or cared more for this beautiful creature than you have and do. And its obvious PeeWee shared that same deep affection and oneness. I truly believe such a deep bond transcends the physical limitations of this life.

And I just know, just like I know for mine that have lived their lives thru, that PeeWee is in a new home now, happy and free from pain, and waiting for the day you join him.



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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:40 AM
Response to Reply #27
31. I so hope that you are right
nu_duer. It's so hard to imagine never seeing him again. Unbearable, really- that why it was so hard to let go of his frail little body-I know it was just a shell, but I didn't want to let any part of him go. I wish so very much that I could believe as you do.
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Sophree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #31
83. I believe the same thing
I didn't know what your spiritual beliefs were, but I also believe that in the hereafter, we will be reunited with the animals we have loved so much and who have loved us in return.

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SyracuseDemocrat Donating Member (696 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:36 AM
Response to Original message
29. Aww I'm so sorry Jen
I was really hoping that Peewee would be okay :( . My Kira isn't doing so well but I am so sorry, i feel so bad for you. If there's anything I can do just let me know.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:36 AM
Response to Original message
30. I am just in tears!
I know it was hard on you these last few days and the loss is astronomic. Letting go is hard. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))

:toast: To PeeWee
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:57 AM
Response to Reply #30
33. Me too
I think I've aged ten years this week. PeeWee himself seemed to grow old over the the past several weeks. For so long, he seemed to be the eternal kitten, and I guess that made him seem somhow immortal in my eyes. It's a mean trick-how long our lives are compared to theirs.

Wee would have loved your toast-he was never much of one for food, but he always adored beverages.
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:19 AM
Response to Reply #33
51. So sorry that you lost PeeWee,
It's a cruel trick that cats do not age bit by bit.. Dogs seem to have a gradual progression, but for some reason (maybe because they are predators), they seem forever young, until all at once they are not.. I see this in our runt cat Amber..She looks like a kitten at 12, and still plays like a kitten, but we "know" she is getting old..

Don't beat yourself up over what you did or did not do, or should have done or should not have done.. You did what was necessary at the time, and PeeWee held on as long as he could.. It was just his time..

Each cat has their own little personality and special quirks, and they are not replaceble, and maybe that's a good thing.. It makes them stand out in our memories forever... Someday a kitten will need you, or a stray will wander up to your doorstep, and you will fall in love again.. It will be different, but just as good....

Just remember this...a stray/outdoor (aka unloved) cat will only live a few years, be in poor health, and usually suffer a grisly death..Your PeeWee had a wonderful, comfy, long life and was loved everyday.. What more could a cat ask for?? You did good :)
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SiouxJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 01:54 AM
Response to Original message
32. Hey Jen
I'm sitting here balling my eyes out at your loss. Geez, I hope you've got a freakin' valium for tonight ;-). I'll be thinkin' of you friend.

:loveya:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. Eyes balling out here too
I'm praying and praying that Rocky's recent love affair with food is a sign that he'll be with us much, much longer. He sure is one sweet puppy.

And yes, I'm taking Ativan tonight (anti-anxiety meds) they make me woosy, but at least I can (sort of) type. I would not be managing without them.

:loveya: and Rocky right back.
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 02:18 AM
Response to Original message
36. I'm sorry Jen
Edited on Sat Aug-02-03 02:19 AM by Forkboy
I know how attached I am to my kitty Frisco,and I know how much it sucks too lose such a good friend.It's like the whole world loses meaning...I hope you're ok,cats are the best fuzzy buddies we have :-(

Peewee looked like a great friend.
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area51 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 04:29 AM
Response to Original message
37. Peewee


I'm so sorry for your loss, Jen6.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

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nuxvomica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
38. Peewee is still with you, just not in an "obvious" way
Remember that moment when Peewee would drape himself across your neck? That moment has always been and always will be. You feel his presence now as sorrow and for that I am sorry. Take care and remember that no love is ever lost.
Joe
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LuLu550 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
39. So sorry
A beautful cat. I am so sorry for your loss. I found www.petloss.com to be a tremendous comfort when my two dogs died. It is a wonderfully safe message board where people understand your grief.
LuLu
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
40. I am so sorry for your loss
:( He sounded like quite the sweetie. Beautiful pictures.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
41. *sniff*
your heartbreaking tribute - those adorable pictures; I'm blubbering. Bless your heart; Peewee was a lucky cat to have you.
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buddhamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
42. Jen,
i am saddened by the news
you have my sympathies
our pets are our family and bring love and compassion to our lives;they make us laugh and at times cry, but what they do best is love us and we love them in return.the joy in loving and being loved completely...can turn the coldest heart around.
on our darkest days, no greater solace can be found than with our furry friends.

may PeeWee be in peace
(((HUGS))) and love to you.
you'll be in my thoughts
and don't hesitate to call on us



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Individualist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
43. My sincerest condolences, Jen
Having been in the same situation, I understand the terrible emotional pain you're in now. However, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing you gave PeeWee the best care he could possibly have had and in knowing he's no longer suffering. He surely was comforted in his last moments by the loving attention you gave him.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #43
58. I just really hope
That he knew I was there during those last moments. He was already receiving CPR when I came in the room. He looked so terrified. I felt like I had let him down. I just can't stop crying today. When I get ready to go anywhere, he usually jumps into the bathtub and wait for his cup of water to drink (even though he has his very own fountain in the kitchen) until I'm done primping, then he hops out of the tub and escorts me down the hallway. When I come out of a shower, he use to want to lick my legs dry (it tickled)! He loved laundry day-making the bed always resulted in Wee pouncing on imaginary mice and sliding around the sheets, finally jumping into the empty basket-his "kitty cave." He had weird obsessions with rubber bands and women's hosiery too-we used to say that if he could be human, he would be a British gentleman with a predilection for dressing in rubber clothing. I'll miss fishing rubber bands and stockings out of his water dish! He was a quirky little guy, but he was mine.
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ronnykmarshall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
44. RIP Peewee
and hugs and "kittyhugs" for you Jen.
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meti57b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 10:52 AM
Response to Original message
45. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of you kitty.
You sure did all you could do for him, poor little guy. Sometimes life just hurts so badly, that there are no words that can help. I wish you warm comfort in your loss. I kept a picture of Wee and I'll be thinking about you both.
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
48. Tears for Peewee
here, too. I'm sad about Peewee and this news is making me remember my own cat, too, so it's like immense sadness in some kind of horrible stereo. But, and this feels strange, those tears just started receding - at least for now - because the smile that his baby pictures brought me is steadily taking over. How can someone look at that little face and not smile? It's sad, but it also is so gloriously happy-making to see that beautiful little cat in his kittenhood.

It's been said that to live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die, and the one thing I know for sure is that Peewee will never be truly gone. You have precious memories of him, and of the unconditional love that you shared, and that is a true treasure. Peewee's struggle to live is over now, and he has found peace. I was shattered when I stood in the same place that you now find yourself, but I knew that she was free from her pain and that I was a better person for having had her in my life. Of course Peewee wasn't 'just a cat,' he was a little ball of love and that love is still vital.

And I'm keeping my Peewee pictures that I downloaded, all of them - even those of us who never had the privilege of patting him are touched by him, and I think that Peewee will continue to live even in the hearts of those of us who never met him, too. Rest in peace, Peewee, and in love. And you, Jen, are very much loved here and I want to add my hug to the big squeeze that you're getting.

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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #48
55. Thank you so much ForrestGump
I thought of you and Kibby while this was going on. I had never before been asked if I wanted to spend time alone with a pet's body. I thought it would be just too horrible-but then i remembered how you had stroked Kibby in that condition, and I know i could do it. They placed Peewee on a blanket on my lap. and I stroked him and kissed his face, and told him how much I loved him, staying with him until his poor body began to grow cold.It was only then that I realized fully that he wasn't coming back. I wish I could have closed his eyes, because he looked so frieghtened, and I wish I could have been in the room sooner to soothe him. I guess there will always be regrets. I'm going to have him cremated, too-just as you did with Kibby-and for the same reasons.
Hugs and love right back, Forrest, your understanding and empathy throughout this horrible week has made me feel much less alone. :loveya:
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SiouxJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #48
56. Wow! That was really beautiful
I knew you had a way with words from all your humorous posts but that was sort of unexpected ;-).

"I was shattered when I stood in the same place that you now find yourself, but I knew that she was free from her pain and that I was a better person for having had her in my life."

-perfectly stated.
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curse10 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:11 AM
Response to Original message
49. I'm so sorry Jen
I know exactly how you feel. Losing my favorite kitty a few years ago was so devastating. I'm just lucky that I found two more wonderful kitties to help fill the whole in my heart.
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Kathy in Cambridge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:14 AM
Response to Original message
50. So sorry Jen
It is sooo difficult to say goodbye to an animal companion. He was a beautiful boy-your description of his 'baby powder' scent reminded me of my dear departed Lulu, who he resembled.

Please take care of yourself too during this difficult time.

((HUGS))

RR
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HungryLoser Donating Member (92 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:36 AM
Response to Original message
52. I feel your loss...
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I know the pain you're going through. I lost my 16 year old boy-cat last year.
At least Peewee was surrounded by love in the end, so many felines leave this world unloved and under horrid circumstances.
Last week my Tabby escaped and was missing for 4 days, I walked the neigborhood calling and crying for her every night, I knew she was hungry and terrified.My neigbors helped me look and in the end she was found by one of them.
I beleive cats do have 9 lives... 9 times they reincarnate back to us through our lifetimes to love us and protect us in our dreams.
Peewee will find you again.
And don't be afraid to cry.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #52
60. I'm so sorry for your loss
and so glad that you found your tabby again. I hope the your beliefs turn out to be true; right now I find this place unbearable without him.

I wish the circumstances were better-but welcome to DU. You have a dear and compassionate heart, and will find yourself among friends here.
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Best_man23 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
53. So Sorry for your loss Jen
Time will heal the pain, nothing will heal the loss.
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:16 PM
Response to Original message
54. Dear Jen -- I am so very, very sorry...
Peewee was such a special treasure. I believe that a strong bonding with another species (such as you shared with Peewee) often exceeds the emotional magnitude of human bonding. It may sound crazy, but with only a few exceptions, the grief I've experienced at the loss of special animal friends far exceeded that of human loss. These animals -- our true avatars -- hold a place in our heart like no other.

I truly understand the depth of your sorrow. As profound as your loss is, it is probably safe to say that you would not trade all that pain for the exclusion of Peewee from your heart and memory. You are so much richer for the gifts that he selflessly gave. He was a grand little "gentleman," and it was your pleasure and privilege to accompany him on his journey through this world.

In your thoughts, feelings and senses, Peewee is only a moment away from you. True, you cannot see him, but he is there -- and he will always be. The limitations of the physical world cannot separate you from a love that strong.

I wish you peace and comfort...
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:20 PM
Response to Reply #54
68. Beautifully said, rezmutt
I only wish I could believe in something outside the limitations of our physical world. He was a grand little "gentleman", and I would give many years from my life for just one more with him. Love and affection is so difficult to find these days-never more so, it seems. We 'bleeding hearts" are scorned, while those who live for themselves alone are celebrated. There is no sense in any of it.
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dragonquest8 Donating Member (941 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:52 PM
Response to Original message
57. I am so sorry for you loss...
Losing a beloved pet is never easy...
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molly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
59. I feel so bad for you and I'm so sorry
Peewee is in kitty heaven and you will see him again. He knows that you will always love him.
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AmyStrange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
61. CRAP
i am so sorry jen6
((((HUGz))))
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boilerbabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
62. PeeWee looked just like my first kitty Weeble
I am so sorry that your kitty died. Even though it is the most heart-rending thing ever to be there when your pet passes away, at least you were there.
Today, I had some friends over to swim in my pool, and they inadvertently left my door open, well, I can only find one of the 3 indoor kitties (I have 2 others that stay out because they hate the indoor ones). So anyway, I have been combing the neighborhood looking for them, when hopefully they are just hidden in some junkpile in my house.
Anyanyway...your kitty looks alot like my first kitty Weeble. I had to convince my parents that he would stay in my room and all that and I would quit smoking...well, lets put it this way...when it came time for me to leave home, "you can't take Weebles" and all that ...next thing you know...cat-hating parents have like 4 kitties!!
Smile, your kitty lived a good, long life!!
XXXXOOOO
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BeHereNow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
63. Energy can neither be created
or destroyed...so said Keppler.
That little phrase has gotten me through last year and a half Jen.
I lost both my mentor and my beloved Black Dog.
Don't believe anyone who tells you, "The pain will heal with time."
You never get over the loss of unconditional love.
What I can share with you about it is this:
The hole doesn't get smaller- it changes.
I have come to the realiztion that the holes in my heart
created by the loss of these two spirits in my physical reality
is gradually filling in with the memories of their love.
It is still a hole, but it's meaning has changed.
It is no longer about loss, it is about the privilege to have
loved, and been loved, so deeply.

They both visit me in my dreams and their message is
the same, they are fine, and we will meet again.
Let your tears flow, they become the river that connects
you to the ocean where your beloved Peewee is waiting
for you.
I understand your pain- I still feel it; I still cry.
Know that you are blessed to have known such love,
and never, never hesitate to mourn for the loss of that love
in the physical world. Look forward to the day when
you will see Peewee again on the plane where there
is no separation.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))

BeHereNow
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #63
71. Thank you, BeHereNow
I know that much of what you say is true, even though I can't quite imagine the exisitance of life after death. It's good to know that they visit you in your dreams now. That's all I want to do: sleep. I've slept through most of the day, I think i'll just keep on sleeping. With any luck I'll see him there; and not lying dead on a blanket, or hooked up to hoses. :-(
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BeHereNow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 02:10 AM
Response to Reply #71
73. You WILL!
See Peewee in your dreams-
Trust me on that one.
Sleep is very important right now-
take as much as you want and don't
feel guilty. You have suffered a tremendous
shock to your system.
The loss of unconditional love is like the loss'
of a limb- sleep helps the body to heal.
And dream time is the closest we get to where
our loved ones are now.
Go to sleep, go to dream time for that is
where you will see your precious one again.
Trust me- it's true.

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
BHN
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blm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
64. Peace to you both, Jen.
It was a great love that will endure in your heart.
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corarose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
65. My Heart breaks for you!
I have tears in my eyes right now and I feel so bad for you.

I am so sorry to hear about Peewee passing he was a beautiful cat and you are going to miss him big time.

My 16 year old boy baby Garfield (red tabby persian) died 2 years ago and I still break down when I think about him.

God Bless you!
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
66. So sorry
What a beautiful critter he was.

I know there are cats in heaven. You'll see him again.

MzPip
:dem:
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 07:57 PM
Response to Original message
67. What a priceless treasure
to have shared his short little life and filled it with such joy.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:55 PM
Response to Original message
70. What a sweet baby! I am so sorry that PeeWee has left you.
Thank you for sharing your pictures of such a cute little girl. May memories help you get by.

Laura
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MRDU Donating Member (135 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 02:50 AM
Response to Original message
74. PEEWEE LOVES YOU!!!!
AND YOU LOVE PEEWEE!!!!
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regnaD kciN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 02:53 AM
Response to Original message
75. Heartbreaking...
Angoras are wonderful, aren't they? Your post reminds me so much of my late beloved Matagot (19??-1986), who was also the only cat I've ever known who enjoyed playing elaborate practical jokes on his humans. Sadly, your account of Peewee's ending sounds exactly like Mat-Cat's passing, on the second evening of the year, too...

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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #75
79. Matagot was an Angora?
It's so hard to find any Angora's, or part Angora's out there to compare him with. I still don't know why his purbred mother ended up in Columbus (her owner dumped he on his roommate when he left school) .He (Peewee) was just so different from every other cat I've had or known. Since all four Grandparents died over the past four years, and now Peewee-I feel like I've lost my family. It's awful to think that I'll never find another cat that's anything like he was.

Today feels even worse than yesterday. When does it start getting better?
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regnaD kciN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 05:42 PM
Response to Reply #79
87. As far as we can tell...
...we adopted him as a stray, as had the people who took him in beforehand (the idiot husband decided he didn't want a cat, and forced the family to get rid of him), so he obviously didn't have a pedigree. However, he had every physical trait of an Angora, his first vet described him as such, and there was an Angora cattery nearby, so the conclusion was pretty reasonable, in our opinion.
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scucci Donating Member (280 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 03:12 AM
Response to Original message
76. I'm crying with you
What a wonderful friend you had. He cannot be replaced and please don't let anyone tell you to just get another cat. They don't understand. You and Peewee had something very special between you. A bond that others could never see. Treasure that and never forget it. It belongs to you both.
I'll be thinking about you both.
Love,
scucci

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Lost4words Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 06:35 AM
Response to Original message
77. now I am crying, Peewee sounds like a true friend, I am so sorry 4 U
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UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 10:10 AM
Response to Original message
78. I extend my condolences as well.
I understand what it's like to lose a pet, having lost one just recently.

Many wishes for better days to come.
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
81. PeeWee will live forever in your heart.
So sorry about your kitty.
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Sophree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
82. I'm so sorry for your loss
He lived a long and happy life.

He sounds an awful lot, personality-wise, like my cat. She uses a pillow, too, and comes to massage my tummy before bed when I'm trying to read. She does that same thing when she wants a belly-rub, too.

I'm fighting back tears and I'm so sorry for your loss.

((((((hug))))))
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #82
84. Thanks so much Sophee
It's good to know that there are other's like him out there. I hope that if there is such a thing as a kitty's "guiding spirit", that he'll show me towards another one of his kind someday. The house seems hopelessly empty now.
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scucci Donating Member (280 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-03-03 03:58 PM
Response to Reply #84
86. Jen, I hope I'm not intruding but
I just wanted to let you know that there will another kitty. A few weeks ago, another DU'er's kitty died and I said almost this same thing. I had my first buddy for 2/3 of my life. He was with me through everything and I thought I was going to lose it when he passed.
We waited for six months and my husband dragged me to the Humane Society to at least look at some cats. He fell in love with this stinky, skinny, worm infested, ugly little thing some might call a kitten. We brought him home and I was actually angry at him for not being my first buddy. I know it's irrational. It took some time but we nursed him back to health and I, too, started to fall in love with him. That was five years ago and that stinky boy is now a big, fat, healthy beautiful baby who is purring in my lap as I type this. I love him just as much as my first buddy.
The point is, you will move on and love another one just as much.
You just won't forget your buddy, Peewee. I hope this helps you a little bit. I know how bad it hurts. Please try to look forward.
Love, scucci
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