My school's rejected prom themes

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

We decided on a James Bond theme. If my girlfriend doesn't go naked and painted gold, I will. In the meantime...

THE PROMFATHER
Show your appreciation for the hard-working men and women of the Mafia by dressing like them! Suggested attire for gentlemen: double-breasted pinstripes with jackets that comfortably accommodate your concealed .44. Ladies: pearls, cocktail dress with special pockets for cocaine storage. DJd by Frankie Luciano, and no one else, unless you want something should happen to youse. Special uninvited appearance by the Italian Anti-Defamation League! Cost of tickets: a pack of Chesterfields and a cannoli at the door.
Last song of the evening: "Shut Up Before I Shut You Up, Bitch", Frank Sinatra

WHITE TIE ONLY
Honor our American heritage with blatant racism. No hip-hop, Klesmer or anything involving Spanish guitar; only "Aryan Men" by Prussian Blue played on a constant loop. Suggested attire for gentlemen: wear your best S.S. uniform; black jackboots with white laces. Suggested attire for ladies: blonde hair dye, blue contacts, dress with forcefield to protect against mongrel rapists. American-made limousines available for rental. Cost of tickets: 12 reichsmarks
Last song of the evening: "Aryan Men", Prussian Blue

DRESSED TO KILL
Show your special guy/girl how much you care by butchering them! Dance 'till you drop, probably because your partner hobbled you, "Misery"-style. Pray to Satan, dark master and Lord of Lies, to grant you a prom beyond your wildest fever dreams. Suggested attire for gentlemen: suit made from skin of date, bloody trucker cap. Suggested attire for ladies: Iron Maiden corset. Cost of tickets: $40. If you can't afford one, kill someone who can and drink their blood to gain their power.
Last song of the evening: "Helter Skelter", the Beatles (backwards, of course)

SPECIAL STUDENT-TEACHER PROM
Ply your wise educators with drugs and alcohol and watch them transform before your eyes! Marvel and giggle nervously as Mr. Quinn, your history teacher, tipsily asks exactly how many months until your eighteenth birthday, while your boyfriend tries to fend off Miss Isringhausen's offer of "extra credit". Suggested attire for gentlemen: Something that shows off those rippling triceps, stud. Suggested attire for ladies: Something revealing that you'll get yelled at for but later drunkenly complimented on. Cost of tickets: Your silence.
Last song of the evening: "Sweet Children", Green Day

REPRESSED PURITANICAL SOCIAL EVENT
Pretty much nothing but compensation for last year's theme, "Non-Stop Fucking". No dancing; it is the instrument of Lucifer. Prom will basically consist of standing in place for three hours, thinking your dirty harlot thoughts. Suggested attire for gentlemen: suits (nothing outside the color range of charcoal to midnight blue). Suggested attire for ladies: anything that covers your shame. All boys and girls must stay on their respective sides of the ballroom. Cost of tickets: On-the-spot baptism.
Last song of the evening: Psalm 63.

[Arugula Latte]

1. Here's one: YOUNG REPUBLICAN

Dress like your favorite young Bush-loving 'puke; on your way in the door evade the military recruiters because, really, that is for Other People to fight.

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

2. Well it wouldn't be a true Young Republicans event unless

Someone got filmed or photographed doing something racist or misogynistic. Seriously, when's the last time anyone heard the phrase "Young Republicans" without the words "are under fire" immediately after it?

[ghostsofgiants]

3. The promfather sounds...

Like a very legitimate business venture.

[Cabcere]

4. Haha, nice!

I was rejected 31 different times for my senior prom...does that count as a theme? :P :rofl: (It doesn't count as a world record, though...I tried, but they rejected me too, the bastards! x()

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

5. See, I play it safe.

The only people I've gone to prom with were two consecutive (and inexplicably acquired) girlfriends. Once I went to Homecoming with a friend, but she went to a different school, so it's not like I had stiff competition.

[Cabcere]

6. Well, that's what I *thought* I was doing...

The first guy I asked was a longtime friend/love interest who I thought reciprocated the friendship at least, even though we were no longer dating. He said yes, but then a few weeks before prom ditched me to go to a different prom with some other girl on the same night. (Not that I'm bitter or anything...lol. :P) So then I was going to go with a guy friend who had been ditched by his date as well...but that didn't work out either, because he decided that he was going to try to get one of his old girlfriends to go to prom with him so he could maybe get back together with her. After that I just figured, ah, screw it, and so I started asking a bunch of guys who I knew would say no to go to prom with me (friends who already had dates/girlfriends, etc.), and racked up 31 rejections before prom night. I ended up going stag and having a fairly lousy time, so in retrospect I should've just gone with one of my guy friends and forgotten about the whole rejection record deal, especially since I ended up getting rejected for that as well. :crazy: Such is my life, I guess.

[Shell Beau]

7. I kinda like the Promfather theme! Maybe I am way too

hooked on mafia movies and The Soprano's! Did I mention I met Uncle Jr. in NY!! Oh yeah I did!! How freakin' awesome is that?? He said Tony deserved it! Only those who watch know what I mean!! :P

[Crap_in_a_Hat]

8. That must be a trend among HBO viewers

Background info: My grandparents' beach house doesn't have a TV, so they go to my aunt's house to watch "Sopranos" and "Six Feet Under". Once, my grandpa is driving back, all jazzed up from the episode of "SFU" he just saw. We stop for ice cream, and out of nowhere he asks the kid behind the counter if he watches it. Kid says, slightly weirded out, "Uh, no. My parents do." My grandpa responds, "Tell them Nate got what he deserved for sleeping with the lank-haired ferret." I'm tempted to start watching the show, but I'm scared knowing the context would frighten me even more.