Heather Mills and "Dancing With The Stars"

[Missy Vixen]

One of my girlfriends has a Bunco group. They needed another person to play, and she asked me if I'd like to attend last evening. I've never met the group of women I met last night before. I should explain that most of these women are youngish (twenties to mid thirties,) very attractive, all married. Bunco is something that's typically played in suburbia among soccer moms and those who want to get away from the husband and kids for a few hours.

One of those attending last night said that she really likes "Dancing With The Stars". I'm not a huge fan, so I remained quiet and listened to the rest discuss it. To my amazement, the "DWTS" fan then spoke up and said that Heather Mills should not have been allowed to appear on the program. After all, she's "not really a dancer" and she's "handicapped". Several of the others in the group spoke up to say that they agreed. I was floored!

This was one of those moments we all have and hope it never happens. You're in someone else's house, attending a social event and someone says something you think it horrible. What do you do? I'm ashamed to say that I didn't speak up. I knew whatever I said would probably be perceived as rude. I'm not a Heather Mills fan. At the same time, I think it's pretty damn gutsy that she's willing to do this.

Just curious -- what would you have done?
Julie

[some guy]

1. ooh, those are uncomfortable

I've never seen DWTS, but isn't part of the point of the show that 'the stars' are not dancers, but spend some amount of time learning to dance, and then strut their stuff on TV?

I think Emmett Smith (former football player) was on there, and he isn't a dancer.

So, I would've probably said something like I just typed, and left off any comment abut 'handicap.' Or maybe point out that given she has a prosthesis, and is able to dance, she should get extra credit or something for making the effort.

[begin_within]

7. Emmett Smith was the winner of the third season of DWTS.

[some guy]

9. thanks

3rd season, eh? I've 'missed' a lot of those DWTS shows, I guess.

I've 'missed' a lot of all the other shows on TV too, since I don't own one.

:hi:

[wildhorses]

2. gawd-- i hope there was alcohol at this event

i would have to have a drink...and i mean a double!!

[Left Is Write]

16. I've never been to a Bunco night that didn't involve drinkies.

:D

[Flaxbee]

3. I'd probably have said something, but then again, I'm generally

told I can be extraordinarily outspoken and/or rude. The situation you were in was awkward, but was it the hostess who said it? If not, I don't think it would have been a bad thing to say something - one person expressed her opinion, and you could express yours. And really, do you care if they thought you were rude? The only person you really owe any sensitivity toward is the hostess, and I don't think you expressing a difference of opinion would be considered to be a violation of good manners, provided you didn't punctuate any comment with a "fuck you" or by flinging your drink at someone. ;-)

But there's no need to do so if you're not comfortable.

[Missy Vixen]

10. It was just weird

I remember looking around at the women gathered in that kitchen and thinking to myself that these were not people I'd probably want to spend a lot of time with. Maybe I have a built-in bias because they reminded me of why I don't go out of my way to spend time with large groups of women. It's not that I don't like them. I love my girlfriends. At the same time, the women I choose to be friends with have depth, character, and compassion. These women were all about what they looked like, that kind of fakey "friendliness" one sees when one ends up in a roomful of strangers you know you'll never see again.

I also would hope I would never say something so obviously bigoted and short-sighted. Then again, my mother was disabled and used a wheelchair for the last ten years of her life. Maybe it strikes too close to home for me.

Julie

[Hell Hath No Fury]

4. The dip shit who said...

Mills shouldn't be on the show because she isn't a real dancer has been smokin' something -- that is the entire premise of the show, to get people who are NOT dancers and have them compete against each other. And I have been surprised at just how good Mills is -- she moves well, has great energy, and really sells her performances. The fact that the audience gets to see her struggling with her disability and how she handles it is, I am sure, a reminder to us that it is often we who "handicaps" a person.

Never ever be afraid to speak out when you are confronted with someone so obviously clueless -- even if you think you will be perceived as "rude". There is a terrific movie called "Gentlemen's Agreement" with Gregory Peck about antisemitism. His fiancee attends a dinner party where the talk is about "Jews" -- it gets ugly, but she says nothing. Later she tells Gregory about how horrid what they said was and how she loathed them for it. Gregory asked her what her reaction had been -- what did she say to them in response? She confessed she had said nothing, it would have made a scene. Gregory gives a great speech on how it is important to speak out, how good people should never let that kind of talk go without it being challenged. It is a philosophy I agree with completely.

A simple, "I think it's damn gutsy of her to participate, more power to her, and I'm sure what she is doing will inspire others who are disabled" said with complete conviction would have been enough to give the Miss Things something to chew on.

I have a feeling that gal would have had stroke watching my best friend and I out on a dance floor -- he has spina bifida and "dances" in his wheelchair! :D

[Missy Vixen]

11. HHNF, I will rent "Gentleman's Agreement"

It sounds like a great movie.

>a reminder to us that it is often we who "handicaps" a person<

One thing's for sure. Seriously, I'm not a Heather Mills fan. At the same time, I admire her courage. I still have both legs. I would never have the guts to get on national TV and do what she's doing. I think her participation shows that we all should not be afraid to dance, even if we don't have a ballroom dancer's body or the correct "moves".

>he has spina bifida and "dances" in his wheelchair!<

It sounds like you and he have a blast! Who wouldn't love this? Isn't dancing all about joy? Shouldn't we all be able to do it?

Julie

[LibDemAlways]

5. I sometimes bite my tongue in a group like that, too, so

I understand the dynamics of that particular situation. I would probably have said that even though Heather isn't my favorite person, I can't fault her appearing on the show. She's giving it her all, demonstrating that someone in her circumstance needn't accept physical limitations, and is donating any winnings to charity - so why would anyone want to criticize her?

[Digit]

6. My mother had a leg removed due to vascular disease

My mother ended up getting around pretty damn well at her advanced age with her prosthesis.

Having been around someone with a prosthesis, I was amazed and delighted that others could see the possibilities. She is not my favorite in the competition, as Apollo and his partner have captured my heart, but I give her huge points for effort and inspiring others who are disabled.

I would have spoken my mind as she (Heather) is to be admired for participating in the competition.
She had done an outstanding job so far, despite her falling at the end of the last competition.

[Suich]

8. I might have said, jokingly, that I thought it was for amateurs,

and then said, "But what do I know?"

More than likely I would have reacted exactly like you did and not said anything. When you look at the big picture, it's just a TV show. Whatever her problem is, I don't think you would have accomplished anything by saying something. You done good!

What's a Bunco group? I haven't heard of that before.

:hi:

[Missy Vixen]

13. Bunco is a dice game

>What's a Bunco group?<

It's a group of women who get together to play a very simple dice game (it takes five minutes to learn it,) talk with each other and generally socialize. http://www.buncorules.com

I've known many other people who played Bunco, but this is the first time I've actually been invited to participate.

Julie

[bicentennial_baby]

12. My dad's disabled...I would have said something.

But, that's b/c it's something I've had to do many times in my life...If I didn't have that experience, I probably would have felt really uncomfortable speaking up. :pals:

[undeterred]

14. Wow, I would have burst a vein.

First of all, what others have said about the show is correct. Its for celebrity non-dancers. And Heather Mills isn't just an ex-wife of Paul McCartney, she is a celebrity- for being an activist fundraiser in her own right. She is an amazing and very cool person apart from her marriage to Paul McCartney, apart from her handicap, and apart from Dancing with the Stars.

I've watched it about half the time. And like many Americans who adore Paul McCartney, I admit to having a bit of a bias against her at the beginning of the show because of the divorce and the gold-digger remarks. But now I could care less. I think she's the most amazing person I've ever seen in my life. She is better, way better, than a lot of the other non-professional women (as a dancer). She tries to do things that are much harder than the other dancers, and she does them well! She's not the least bit ashamed or embarrassed or held back by her handicap- she's very open and honest about it and talks about the prosthetic legs and jokes about it. She might even win, and if she does, it will be totally because she deserves to, and not because anyone feels sorry for her.

After watching her a few times I'm wondering why on earth Paul McCartney let her get away. She is an amazing woman.

These people you were with need to get a clue.

[Left Is Write]

15. Ummm....isn't the point of the show the fact that the stars "aren't really dancers"?