Can you sleep while "touching", or with "body contact"?

[Lil Missy]

When I met my SO a couple years ago, I had a VERY difficult time sleeping at night with someone laying next to me. Making skin contact made my skin sweat and seriously distracted my peace and slumber.

I don't know how or when things changed. Now, we are practically flopped all over each other at night, or laying on top of each other. I am neither aware of it nor does it phase me in the least, (And I could sleep though a bomb)

The only reason I ever wake at night now is when she asks me to roll over cuz I'm snoring in her ear. Oops!

So, do you prefer your own space in bed, or are you a snuggler? I personally prefer snuggling now.

[Deja Q]

1. I'll let you know.

:D

[cwydro]

6. ...

EXCELLENT answer!:rofl:

[Deja Q]

19. The only one I could give.

:D

[billyskank]

7. Me too.

:shrug:

[aljones]

2. the very same thing happened to me....

[AllegroRondo]

3. I have a hard time with it

if something or someone touches me, I wake up instantly.

[musiclawyer]

4. If you love someone, you want them touching you

...even when you sleep. Even if it's just a finger tip or toe.

[Lil Missy]

5. It wasn't that easy for me, and it had nothing to do with love.

It just distracted the hell out of me in the beginning.

[Radio_Lady]

37. Three husbands later, my answer is a resounding "no."

Only in America do married or living-with couples expect to share the same bed and bedroom for the rest of their lives.

I gave up the sleeping and touching at night part of togetherness -- and finally had to accept the fact that we needed separate bedrooms and bathrooms -- when I realized the following had come true:

He sleeps with the electric blanket turned up to high, even on summer nights, and he wears mostly flannel nightclothes, in all seasons. I eschew a blanket, electric or otherwise, and prefer only a light sheet and a cotton shortie nightgown. I keep a window open a few inches, even in winter. The heating and airconditioning in our home is set for 68 daytime, 65 at night. He's sitting here in a sweatshirt and long pants; I have on a sleeveless blouse, lightweight skirt, and sandals. When he's comfortable, I'm probably sweaty and hot, and vice versa. In other words, we are thermically incompatible.

Originally, we slept together on the main floor of the house while the five children we brought to our marriage lived upstairs in three bedrooms. Regrettably, my husband began to snore around age 50, and despite an operation designed to remove the uvula (the little piece of flesh that hangs in the throat), his sleep studies show he woke up about 150 times a night and stopped breathing frequently. Boy, that's scary! But a variety of air pressure machines and sleep-enhancing drugs he tried -- did not help much. He still snores at age 72. Oh, and I forgot to tell you about restless leg syndrome part. That's a real problem -- he does this rhythmic kicking about 12 - 15 seconds apart -- and other rocking and scratching motions on his arms and legs. I am a very light sleeper. I wake up at a pin drop and have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Since retirement, he goes to bed routinely around 1 AM or 2 AM and sleeps until perhaps 8 AM (requiring much less sleep than I do). I like to get into bed around 10 PM and love to wake up around 6 AM when the world is still asleep. I watch most dawns through my east facing window. We are metabolically incompatible, unless I take a mid-afternoon nap. Then I'm OK until about midnight or 1 AM.

He has no problem watching horrible, scary, monster-laiden characters in movies, as well as eating in bed (WHICH I DO NOT PERMIT), prowling the kitchen to check the fridge or the den to type something into his day planner, or taking a shower or two in the middle of the night. I go into my own room, dim the lights, put on soft music, watch some silly TV show, or do some yoga or tai chi all while listening to Chinese music in the semi-dark. I'm deep asleep most night in about 10 - 15 minutes.

We love each other very much and now travel together quite a bit -- requesting two double beds or a suite with a pull out bed if we can get it. When all else fails, I can sleep on a couch. However, we frequently try to sleep in a king-sized bed for a few nights. For him, that means trying to control all of the above the best he can; for me, I'm armed with earphones and quiet music on an Mp3 player, ear plugs if I need them, eye shades, lovely sleep-inducing lavender spray and other real drugs if necessary. I have to get my rest.

Do we love each other without being "in touch" every minute of every day or night? Next February 4, we celebrate 35 years of marriage. You be the judge...

Good night and good luck.

[LibDemAlways]

59. You are fortunate that your husband took

measures to try and control his snoring. Mine simply refuses and he's so loud you can hear him at the other end of the house.

Recently we spent a night at a hotel along with our 14-year-old daughter. It was a nightmare. The snoring was so loud neither my daughter nor I could get to sleep, and she was literally crying from exhaustion. Looks like in the future we'll have to get two rooms.

I agree that sleep compatability is an issue separate and apart from marital compatability. We're going on 34 years this July.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Not snuggled up, no

I like touching feet or something, but anything that restricts movement — nuh-uh. Can't do it.

I can start out snuggly. Just can't go to sleep that way.

[Cannikin]

9. Spooning. Definately.

[Lil Missy]

16. Awww, that's adorable.

[BarenakedLady]

10. I need my space

So much so that I sleep in the basement...

On second thought, they may be indicative of something much more.

:P

[SPKrazy]

23. yeah it is

you are really a snuggler just waiting for someone to snuggle...:P

[LaraMN]

11. I like to snuggle before I actually go to sleep, but I don't like to be touched

once I'm trying to sleep. And I stretch out. Alot. So the ability to practice avoidance of my body parts is requisite.

[grasswire]

12. yes, and it's a good thing

..........otherwise, a particular adorable chubby orange tabby cat would be hitting the wall every time he crawled up to lay across my chest/back/legs/pillow/shoulder -- a dozen or so times per night.

[rug]

13. I find it hard to sleep unless there are at least three others.

[hippywife]

14. Yep.

The way it usually goes around here is me on my right side (so I don't snore,)the husband snuggle against my back, and the big gray cat nestled against my belly. One big ol Hippywife sandwich. And I really do love waking up in the middle of the night and feeling all the snuggling going on. That's the only time when I can feel that everything is right in the world, well in that one little spot of it.

[MnFats]

15. there's a lot to be said for 'spooning' especially around here in winter...

...it helps keep both warm. nice to trade off every once in a while and sometimes.....ah, don't want to getit locked

[terrya]

17. Yes.

My boyfriend and I sleep close together. I like the feel of him next to me. :-)

[Celeborn Skywalker]

18. I prefer it.

As long as she's not one of those who kicks violently in her sleep, lol.

[Lil Missy]

22. Mine smacks me once in a while when having bad dreams.

Scares the crap outta me every time!

[SPKrazy]

20. i'm a snuggler

with no one to snuggle :(

[TommyO]

45. Spoonee here, but my spooner went off the deep end

and we broke up several years ago. Still looking for the perfect, or at least right for each other, spooner.

[Orsino]

21. To varying degrees.

Everything from spoonage to sprawling yards apart--it's all good. I just have trouble sleeping when she's not there.

[Omphaloskepsis]

24. I can spoon with the best of them.

Waking at opposite ends of the bed actually bothers me. I can snuggle and sleep for 8 hours in the same position.

[Evoman]

25. I find it hard to get to sleep, even when I'm comfortable.

I don't like being touched when I'm trying to get to sleep. I hate even sharing blankets, so my gf makes the bed and then gives me my own blanket and I sleep on top of the sheets. AND I HATE BEING TUCKED IN. I only fall asleep sleeping on my stomach, with half uncovering me (most times I like a blanket on my shoulders and torso, but leave my legs completely uncovered.

I'm a freak. My gf falls asleep after 4 minutes every night, snuggled or unsnuggled. So after she falls asleep, I disengage and spend the next half hour trying to get comfortable.

on edit: I'm also always warm or hot...if my gf slept on me or snuggled me, I would overheat. And I NEVER use more than 1 blanket.

[TOhioLiberal]

26. I like snuggling...

...not that I have much of a chance to do that. :(

[femmocrat]

27. The corgis tend to take over most of the space! LOL

One lays across my chest and the other across my feet until I kick them out of the bed .... Maybe I should just give them the bed and I'll take the crate.

[MonkeyFunk]

28. NO

and it's a source of contention. He likes snuggling, and I absolutely cannot stand to be touching somebody when I'm asleep.

[Taverner]

29. love it

but then again, married 8 ys

[SarahB]

30. I go back and forth.

Sometimes I'm a cuddler. Sometimes I just need my space (especially in warm weather). My husband tends to be hot and sweaty and needs more space when he sleeps. He cuddles when it counts though. :)

[Shell Beau]

31. I prefer to be untouched while sleeping. But if I have an awful dream, I find

myself clinging to my husband. He always knows when I have a bad dream because he wakes up with me wrapped around him!

[ContraBass Black]

32. I sleep much better with all four limbs entangled with those of a fondly familiar lady.

An empty bed is no fun.

[Broken_Hero]

33. Yes, I have trouble with contact

with my wife while sleeping, and it irritates her to no end. She likes to hold me, and half the time(not realizing it) I'm throwing her arm off my quite a number of times on any given night....

[Nicole]

34. I don't like it.

I will snuggle for hours before sleep but once I fall asleep I prefer to be untouched.

[SPKrazy]

39. oh good...

it is better like that...

:hug:

:D

[Zookeeper]

35. Yes, I like some contact while I sleep....

spooning or touching legs or feet rather than a full embrace (unless it's really cold). Snuggling is wonderful but I move around too much to actually sleep that way.

[SPKrazy]

40. I've always been a foot to foot person myself

:shrug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

36. We almost always cuddle before sleeping....

But we both need our own, untouched spaces to sleep in....

So we have a big enough bed to do that in...

[Ariana Celeste]

38. for the most part, i need my space

ive only been with one person i could stand skin contact with at night. that was years ago

[fizzgig]

41. i love snuggling

love it, love it, love it

i always sleep better if i'm cuddled up to someone.

unless it's summer. then, no snuggles.

last summer i made my bf sleep in his room most of the summer cuz it was just too damn hot to have the two of us in my little bed

[Scooter24]

42. depends...

usually my boyfriend and I sleep on our own sides of the bed. But, many times we'll cuddle while watching TV or to just talk. I can fall asleep in his arms if I'm very tired or exhausted from..well um yeah.. It's just easier if I had my own space to stretch out.

[lildreamer316]

43. Yes...and no.

Husband and I love to spoon; but he becomes a FURNACE after about 35 min. The sleeping against each other puts us both into a deep sleep; but eventually I wake up because I am too hot.

I dunno what we are going to do about it; right now it involves spooning and then moving away; repeat.

[ganeshji]

44. No

The cat sleeps on my hip most of the night but that's my limit. It wakes me up when someone touches me.

[Lil Missy]

50. My cat sleeps on me too. So I'm a snuggle sandwich some nights

[Guava Jelly]

46. I need my space

At least if i want to actually sleep.
If I want to do other things well :evilgrin: thats different

[Lil Missy]

49. Well yeah, that's different ;)

And then there is the "afterglow" snuggle. :D

[Guava Jelly]

51. there is that

I could use a little afterglow lately

[Rhythm]

47. Been a 'snuggler' since adulthood...

...and it makes no difference to me who's spooned up against whom.
Oktoberain and i switch all the time, mostly for her comfort.
Frankly, i could sleep standing on my head.

[hippiechick]

48. Only with my dogs ...

HippieDog Hank and Ray Charles la Beagle both sleep on the bed with me, and Ray usually has to snuggle up as close to me as he can - so I have a snout or an ear on my arm all night, and Hank does the typical Cattle Dog thing of stretching out along the backs of my legs like a big ole doorstop. At least he keeps me from rolling out of bed! :rofl:

I can't recall the last time I've spent an entire night with a male of the human species but in prior years, I've not been able to fall asleep with someone in the same room, let alone actually in physical contact.


:shrug:

[Clark2008]

52. I was a snuggler until I got about four months along in this

pregnancy. Now I cuddle with pillows for back and belly support.

I miss my husband. LOL.

[Skittles]

53. I really hate sleeping with someone

I much, much prefer sleeping alone

[YellowRubberDuckie]

54. We need a bigger bed.

IF we could put two queen beds in our room, we'd be happy. He hogs the covers and snores. I like to spread out. We only have a queen bed right now and it kinda sucks. I cannot have him touching me at all, unless I've had a nightmare...then I've got to snuggle into him and make him put his arms around me before I can go back to sleep.
Duckie

[Lil Missy]

56. A queen would be spacious for us! We have a double.

And I'm the one who hogs all the covers and snores. If I am really exhausted or I've had a couple drinks late at night my snoring is much worse. I've offered to move to the couch on those nights if she would wake me up and tell me, but she'd prefer to snuggle. Still makes me feel bad.

[bearfan454]

55. My own space for sure nt

[av8rdave]

57. It's the strangest thing....

I sleep alone a LOT because of my job (14 - 18 nights/month in a hotel), but when home, we never sleep without touching.

[Lil Missy]

58. That makes perfect sense to me.

You don't have a choice when you are on the road. But I'll bet you probably prefer the nights at home.

[bigwillq]

60. A little bit of both

I need my space when I frist start to fall asleep but if I happen to wake up during the night, I kind of need to be cuddled in order to go back to sleep.

[gbate]

61. My husband knows not to touch me when I'm falling asleep.