I think I should swear off women for a while

[sir_captain]

I really seem to know how to pick them. I finally managed to mostly extricate myself from a long term relationship with a girl I love to death, but who has way too much emotional baggage for us to have a real future together.

So in the last two days, the ex calls me to tell me that though she's sleeping with some new guy, she wants me back and she's had urges to hurt herself; that was a fun conversation.

Next, I finally work up the courage to ask out my lab partner at school--a really great girl I have totally fallen for and who I basically spend all my time with, both at school and in virtually all of our free time--and it turns out that she has a secret boyfriend that she never bothered to mention to either me or anyone else. And no, she's not making it up.

Oy.

Ok, rant over.

[lizziegrace]

1. I can't imagine why

;)

I think I'd be running, not walking away for a while.

:hug:

[sir_captain]

3. Heh...thanks for the hug

I guess it'll all work itself out eventually, but I'm certainly not feeling overly charitable at the moment.

[lizziegrace]

6. I know...

sounds like you need some time and distance.

[sir_captain]

24. Yeah

I agree except for the whole lonely part. It's nice waking up next to someone you really care about.

[MissMillie]

2. sounds like you pick them as well as I do

I hope your record improves before you get to be my age.

[sir_captain]

5. I hear you

I'm in a profession that makes dating difficult, but I guess I'm probably feeling particularly pessimistic at the moment.

Hope things improve for you too...

[WindRavenX]

4. shit dude

:hug:

[sir_captain]

7. Aw thanks

:hug:

I am currently channeling my anger at Gerry Davis for calling Willie Bloomquist safe at 2nd and costing us the game just now. ;-)

[WindRavenX]

9. dude

That was easily the worst call I've seen in *years*

[sir_captain]

10. He must have been out by 5 feet

I guess it's not his fault that Mariano threw a terrible pitch the next inning, but I am going to choose to entirely blame the ump anyway.

[kedrys]

8. I've been a weirdo magnet myself

and for some reason, it's *never* obvious at first blush. I know where you're at. :pals:

[wildhorses]

11. i feel your pain ---

i am a shit magnet

and yes, it does draw flies, toox(

[sir_captain]

12. I don't think this girl is an awful person or anything

though it's pretty weird that she didn't say anything. I guess I'll have to give her the benefit of the doubt.

It sure doesn't make it suck any less for me, though.

Anyway, thanks for the support.

[wildhorses]

13. you have your whole life ahead of you

IT will happen for you...

its in your cards;)

[rockymountaindem]

14. I hate it when you only find out they have a boyfriend *after* you ask them out

That's happened to me, gee... quite frequently actually :mad:

[xchrom]

15. i know where you're at.

it's one of the major reasons i don't do really involved relationships.

part time and casual do the trick for me.

[sir_captain]

23. I'm glad that works for you...

I don't think the casual thing is really what I want. I have a really stressful lifestyle, and I need someone I have enough of a connection with to help make my life more manageable, you know?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. i took a dating break and got some therapy.

picked MUCH better people after the break/therapy combo.

most people i know who dated assholes and took a break and got some therapy also benefitted from this combo.

[sir_captain]

17. I've got an appontment this afternoon

one of the biggest benefits of medical school are the completely free hour long sessions with psychologists pretty much anytime we want. There are no records, no insurance assholes to deal with, no bills, no nothing--it's great. I go pretty much once a week just to talk.

Edit: thanks for the advice, also--I think it's definitely spot on.

[raccoon]

18. I suggest you put your ex on call block. Why is she telling YOU

this? She needs to tell it to her therapist or her bartender.

"I finally managed to mostly extricate myself from a long term relationship with a girl I love to death, but who has way too much emotional baggage for us to have a real future together. "

I wonder if you get involved with women too quickly? I know I've gotten involved with men too quickly--and lived to regret it. :-(

[sir_captain]

21. Eh, if anything, I don't get involved with them quickly enough

Maybe we need to find some sort of middle ground. ;-)

[Rambis]

19. Advice

A friend of mine called the police when his X girlfriend was threatening to kill herself. She got professional help and it stopped her manipulation of him. She would call at all hours and he would run over there etc etc. The main thing is she hopefully gets professional help from somebody who knows how this dynamic works and it not emotionally involved.

[sir_captain]

22. Yeah, I hear that

I actually have managed to get her an appointment with a psychologist (she refused to see a psychiatrist, but i've been trying for so long to get her to go see anyone that i'll take what i can get.) So assuming she shows up for her appointment (and i think she will) she will soon be getting some professional care.

Luckily i can't run over there cause we're currently living on opposite sides of the country. I don't talk to her much at all, actually. This was a bit of an aberration. I've made it completely clear to her that I am not her lapdog and am not going to let her manipulate me and that the only circumstance where I would ever consider having her in my life at all would be if she got serious professional help for her problems first, and without me involved in it at all.

Of course, it's all easier said than done.

[Rambis]

25. Good luck

It sounds like you are doing the right thing.
Cheers!

[lizerdbits]

20. I'm a magnet for emotionally unstable losers

I don't know what I do. I do know that I'm happier with a cat.