WCGreen
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Fri May-11-07 11:42 PM
Original message |
Okay I need some help.... |
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I am writing my last short story for my Fiction Class and I am stuck...
Here's the scenario so far...
Once well to do man let the booze get hold of him and he has fallen out of the society radar...
He wakes up, after a particularly long blackout, next to a wonderfully delicious woman who claims she knows him but our hero has no idea how he got to the hotel let alone the name of the woman...
She knows but won't tell him who she is...
The idea behind the story is an obsession...
I started with the alcoholic but am now lured into the woman being obsessed with dirty sex so she trolls around looking for guys she can fuck with out consequence...
Which way would you go...
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VelmaD
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Fri May-11-07 11:46 PM
Response to Original message |
1. stick with the alcoholic... |
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the woman obsessed with dirty sex is tired and done to death and cliche and, let's face it, hard to write without some people seeing it as misogynistic.
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WCGreen
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Sat May-12-07 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #1 |
3. She is now toying with him.... |
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She is taunting him to drink but now he isn't so sure...
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CaliforniaPeggy
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Fri May-11-07 11:59 PM
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2. I'm with Velma on this one... |
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If you change your focus now, it's too big a change...
It would look like exactly what it is.....
A change because you couldn't make up your mind...
The focus would then be on her instead of on him...
My take on it!
YMMV....
:hi:
Sounds like a hell of a story!
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Redstone
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Sat May-12-07 12:46 AM
Response to Original message |
4. I'd have to see the full text to be able to offer an opinion...sorry, but any good editor will |
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refuse to edit an outline.
Redstone
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Robeson
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Sat May-12-07 12:49 AM
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...Make him more refined. Think modern day Nick Charles.
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TrogL
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Sat May-12-07 12:54 AM
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Everybody blames the alkie.
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supernova
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Sat May-12-07 12:59 AM
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7. You have to put her in the shower |
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and him rifling through her purse,... belongings, etc, to get some idea of how they might have met before.
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WCGreen
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Sat May-12-07 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
11. I tried that but she pulls him in for more sex and he, of course, |
supernova
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Sat May-12-07 01:24 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
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porn and not a story.... :P
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WCGreen
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Sat May-12-07 06:51 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
16. Not explicit sex..... |
JVS
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Sat May-12-07 01:01 AM
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8. Make it about the woman, but the obsession can be getting off on not letting the guy know who she is |
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and how the ongoing process of enjoying his confusion over the course of the morning slowly erodes the mystery she holds and thus her enjoyment of the experience. He naturally finds the experience annoying Finally when it seems like he knows enough about her to have a bit of an image of who she is, she's no longer intersted in her game. Thus the better they know each other the worse they like each other.
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WCGreen
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Sat May-12-07 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
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It seems to be naturally flowing that way....
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NMDemDist2
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Sat May-12-07 01:02 AM
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9. she's the daughter of the girl he dumped at the coming out ball |
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her mother then got into a disastrous marriage and ended up killing herself
the daughter is out for twisted revenge since she blames the guy cuz her mother never shut up about 'the one that got away and broke my heart'
how's that?
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wildhorses
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Sat May-12-07 01:24 AM
Response to Original message |
12. happiness is a warm gun |
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bang bang shoot shoot
double homicide as they go down in a blaze of glory
:headbang:
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rug
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Sat May-12-07 03:44 AM
Response to Original message |
14. She's his daughter from a one night stand years ago. |
enigmatic
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Sat May-12-07 03:48 AM
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The woman is a one night stand from the hero's darkest alcolic daze, and our hero is the first one that got her drunk. And now that she's finally sober again, she wants revenge on the person that led her to the bottom of the bottle..
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WCGreen
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Sat May-12-07 10:29 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
In_The_Wind
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Sat May-12-07 07:23 AM
Response to Original message |
17. Stick with fleshing out the guy's story. |
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He doesn't know who she is or even how to find her ... but ... he is overwrought by the burning desire to reconnect with her. His knows no boundaries, he can't focus on anything but his need to be with her again. He should have many dangerous encounters on his quest.
You have the beginnings of a best seller! Go get 'em Chris!
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2008
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Sat May-12-07 08:06 AM
Response to Original message |
18. lead the reader on a leash with these 4 steps... |
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1) let the reader think it's a story about the fading alcoholic, as you've already done with the beginning of the story
2) take the reader out of the hotel by following the delicious mystery woman as she trolls for easy sex
3) have one of her male targets be a close friend, relative or associate of the alcoholic, and use that to surprise the reader by returning the story to his (the alcoholic's) point of view
4) leave the woman out of the rest of the story, from the point where she meets the first man's friend, making her just an interesting distraction in this story about the fading alcoholic
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DU
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Sun May 05th 2024, 08:26 PM
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