Do-it-yourself remedy thread

[DS1]

If you're at work and are having severe neck pains, placing a small bottle against the area and leaning back into it hard will alleviate a lot of the pain. A small bottle of Frank's Red Hot, jar of Ponds Cream, or even whiteboard detergent will do. Failing that, leaving early and getting trashed on Vodka will also suffice.

[fizzgig]

1. i like the second option better

of course, it's usually work that is giving me the pain

[NightWatcher]

2. for upset stomach mix baking soda and water

My friend's think it's gross but its science.

If you have indigestion (aka stomach acid HCl) and add baking soda (NaOH) you get salt (NaCl) and water (H2O). It's simple chemistry. My grandma taught me this 20 years ago. It still beats Alka-Seltzer.

[DS1]

3. It's not going to make my mouth look like a science-class volcano is it?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

7. No. Keep your mouth shut

and all the foam shoots out of your nose. It's awesome!!!

[DS1]

8. I refuse to give myself an Angry Dragon

:D

[NightWatcher]

9. you just burp viciously for a few minutes

and then feel 100% better

[SacredCow]

4. I use that too....

but baking soda is actually Sodium Bicarbonate- not Sodium Hydroxide....

Baking soda + hydrochloric acid = carbon dioxide gas + sodium chloride + water

NaHCO3 + HCl = CO2 + NaCl + H2O


You really wouldn't want to consume sodium hydroxide....
:scared:

[NightWatcher]

11. eh, I never was good at chemistry, else I'd be making $ today

instead of working hard.

[LynneSin]

10. Upset stomach I have a better, sure-to-do-the trick recipe

It's the bartender's cure:

Club Soda, Angostura Bitters and a bit of lemon and/or lime juice.

It's a yummy drink sure to settle the stomach

[asthmaticeog]

5. A surgeon was finishing up an operation

and was about to close, the patient nexpectedly awakens, sits up and demands to know what is going on.

"I'm about to close you up," the surgeon says.

The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my OWN damn incision!"

The surgeon hands him the thread and says, "Suture self."

[DS1]

6. Ya know, I now read all internet jokes as if they were spoken by Neil Hamburger

It takes a bit longer, but it helps

[asthmaticeog]

12. Funny, I've been doing the same thing, only with Eugene Mirman.

His rendition of the Brazilian joke is astounding.