Have you ever committed a fart by?

[44wax]

When I worked in Juvenile Hall the kids would walk by the station and fart on their way to the water fountain. I told them never do a fart by on an old man with AK 47 stomach gas.

[Blue-Jay]

1. At my office

We call it crop-dusting.

[44wax]

2. My best work was on two old nazi wind bags fanning themselves as I walked

out of a drug store. They were sitting near the automatic door. They made the mistake of giving me the "fuck you spic" look that is common in Lodi California.

[pfitz59]

3. "Stuck in Lodi again....."

Did you ever hear about the "professional farter" who was arrested at a trial in Sonora? (Think it was Sonora?) He was hired by the defense attorney and instructed to sit next to the jury box. He'd fart on demand whenever the prosecuter was trying to make a particularly damming point. Distracted the hell outta the jury. Was spotted as a ringer, but not before a mistrial was declared.

[alfredo]

5. Had a friend who was a professional farter

We sent him to a rival bike shop on a warm Saturday afternoon. He cleared the showroom.

[Booberdawg]

4. My brothers have a sign

that says "What if the whole world farted all at once?"

They also do beer farts. Deadly!;(

[sasquatch]

6. To get back at my cat I did

One of my cats when he was a kitten he would fart on people he liked and that was about everyone in the house. I mean these kitten farts would peal paint off the walls they were that bad and I grew up on a farm with livestock to tell you about smells. One time he was asleep on the bed and I had one worked up and let it go right on his head. It was a good one to because He had to leave the room and go sleep somewhere else. After we got him fixed he stopped farting like that:)

[Township75]

7. My personal favorites...

are on a crowded bus or elevator, when no one can leave. Public transportation offers you to save one kind of gas and use another :)

Also during class, when students won't say anything, or don't want to get up and walk out of the room. Unfortunately, one time I was on the receiving end of this. I sat behind my roommate for a 2 hour exam and I about gagged for 2 hours. He later told me he got a case of the shits from nowhere during the exam.

Oh well, it was a taste of my own medicine.

[MiltonLeBerle]

8. Have you ever thought about this...?

whenever you smell a fart, like say on an elevator or a train, etc...
it means that there are molecules going into your nose, that just came out of someone else's ass.

Have a nice day!

[VOX]

11. You have a very *dark* side, MLB...Thank you for sharing!

And yes, I too have thought about it.

:toast:

[Le Taz Hot]

9. No, but . . .

my little, itty bitty Ghost kitty, about 5 pounds soaking wet, is DEADLY!

[skip fox]

10. The one-cheek sneak?

That's for sitting down in public transit.

:toast:

[L.A.dweller]

12. I squeeze my

ass cheeks to make sure that stuff doesn't come out.

I hate to smell anyone elses so I am understanding to those who may be around me.