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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 08:44 PM
Original message
Our cat Kobe has died...
We just moved into our new house on Wednesday and he was itching to get out so badly. I told DH not to let him go, it was too soon and the road too busy. But Kobe complained so loud, DH finally gave in.

We took the dog out for the last walk of the night and there was Kobe in the road. He was barely breathing when we picked him up and died a couple of minutes later. I would like to think he did not suffer greatly.

My concern now - what to tell little MB? She is so attached to Kobe and he let her do anything she wanted with him.
How do I tell my 8 year old daughter that Kobe has is gone?

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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 08:50 PM
Response to Original message
1. I am so sorry
I can see he was loved.
My condolences. :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. I am so glad I have until tomorrow to tell her.
Perhaps by then we can get it together.

Thanks
:cry:
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liberaldemocrat7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:23 AM
Response to Reply #6
79. I'm so sorry that Kobe died.
Rest in peace little cat.
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Radio_Lady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 12:22 AM
Response to Reply #79
123. Malta, hold your daughter in your arms and tell her the truth...
Children have to understand death. My nine year old granddaughter just went through this with the natural death of her dog.

This happened to me when I was eight years old. Except I saw the dead dog first, and it tore me up, but a child has to know.

Personally, I don't believe in heaven for both people or animals. If you do, then let your daughter share your belief if you wish.
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MonkeyFunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh I'm so sorry
you must feel just awful.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. DH is outside just bawling right now and wants to be alone.
I am just sitting here listening to him cry.:cry:
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LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Malta blue...
the grieving will come for weeks...but it will get better....it's so painful losing a pet
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:20 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. I feel so horrible right now. I gave DH a major tongue lashing
today about the move and I was just so stressed out. Now this has happened. I am not sure how he will handle this either.
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LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:23 PM
Response to Reply #11
16. Everything happens at once...
it's so bad when all the stressful events happen so close to each other.....I hate to use cliche's but time will heal...go one day at a time...normalcy WILL return....do your best and try to ride it out....
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #16
26. I know. This is tragic - today of all days.
:cry:
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:09 AM
Response to Reply #7
62. Oh dear *hugs for all of you*
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:10 AM
Response to Reply #62
63. Thank you....
I am trying to keep it together for little MB but I can't stop crying right now.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:17 AM
Response to Reply #63
64. Yeah. I have not been through it with my own kids yet. I dread the day *more hugs*
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:20 AM
Response to Reply #64
65. I can't even imagine how she will feel.
She was so attached to this cat because our old cat would not really let her play with him. Kobe let her do anything, even put doll clothes on him. She referred to him as her brother (she is an only child).

I am dreading this afternoon.

Thanks for the hugs....:hug:
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ronnykmarshall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #7
90. I'm so sorry.
:cry:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 02:05 PM
Response to Reply #90
92. Thank you ronnykmarshall
there are so many tears left to shed...:cry:

My poor Kobe was such a great cat. He so loved being outdoors. It was his nature to be outside. He could not handle being cooped up, even in a large house. :cry:

I said so many bad things to him in the last few days because he just meowed constantly to get out...I got no sleep for two nights solid. One night I even locked him in a room downstairs so that I didn't have to hear him. I wish I had never done those things or said shut up or anything like that....:cry:
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driver8 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #7
108. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
The first and only time I ever saw my father cry was when our dog got hit by a car.

Give your husband a big hug...
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #108
110. I have given him many hugs.
He is despondent and little MB is now taking it very hard. She is unconsolable.
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driver8 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:20 PM
Response to Reply #110
116. I cannot even imagine.
I have a five year old daughter and a three and a half year old son...I cannot even begin to imagine how sad they would be if something happened to our dog, Buddy.

My best to you and your family. :hug:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
3. How sad.
I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:16 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Thanks friend.
:hug:
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LeftyFingerPop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. Gee, I am so so sorry...
:hug:

If I were in this situation...I would gently tell her the truth. I do not know if you are a religious person, but I may say something like...Kobe was in a bad accident, and he passed away. He did not suffer, and he is not in any pain...he feels like he is sleeping. Then hug your daughter and give her lots of support. Our animals...they are not with us long enough...

I'm really sorry.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. Thanks Philboy. I will take your advice to heart.
Edited on Sun Jun-24-07 09:19 PM by malta blue
Poor Little MB will be so sad. :cry:
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StarryNite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:01 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm so sorry
The same thing happened many years ago to my mother's cat. My parents had just moved and the cat was carrying on relentlessly. My dad let her out and they saw her dead in the street a few days later. It's heartbreaking. :cry: :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #5
13. Damn cat complained all night - just would not quit even for 5 minutes
I know DH feels just awful right now.:cry:
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StarryNite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:58 AM
Response to Reply #13
41. Cats seem to get real attached to the home.
My sister and I tried telling my mom and dad not to let the cat outside for at least 3 days. But then we weren't the ones who had to listen to her caterwauling all night.
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Wcross Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
12. How do you tell a kid her friend has died? I am so sorry for all.
I just don't know an easy way to explain it to an eight year old. I don't envy you your task in doing it. I would just get it out there on what happened as soon as possible and let the tears fall where they may.

I am really sorry to hear about your families loss, it sounds like he was a great cat. Rest in peace Kobe, my condolences to you & little Malta blue.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
20. Thanks. Poor Kobe. Poor DH and poor little MB.
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
14. sorry, sorry ,sorry
:hug: :cry:

When my Atrau got hit my neighbor called crying....
he was the "neighborhood" cat
everyone fed him...
knew him.....

loved him....



lost
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. All the neighbors knew Kobe.
He was a friend to all who knew him.
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UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
15. Oh dear. I hate when something like this happens.
:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #15
22. Thanks. I feel so helpless to do anything for DH right now.
It is his "single guy days" cat and he is taking it pretty hard right now.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
17. Aw, jeez, I'm so sorry, malta.
It is heartbreaking to lose a beloved pet. Hugs to you, little MB, and most especially, to DH.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:53 PM
Response to Reply #17
23. DH is heartbroken right now.
He got Kobe as a stray kitten. The rest of his littermates were captured the following day and euthanized several days later. We always joked that Kobe really did have 9lives:hug: :cry: :hug:
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GenDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:31 PM
Response to Original message
18. Oh, God, my heart just aches for all of you
I've lost them to the road. It is so hard. The worst thing of all is the guilt, because I always thought that had I kept them 'inside cats' this would never have happened. Every cat I have ever had eventually will sneak out the door to get outside. They are so quick when the door opens.
I'm so sorry.
:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #18
24. This is just so horrible. We have a new house we were going
to fill with great memories and this happens the first week.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:32 PM
Response to Original message
19. for Kobe
Dear God, you have given us care over all living things; protect and bless the animals who give us companionship and delight, make us their true friends and worthy companions. Amen.


Eternal Spirit, we bring you our grief in the loss of Kobe and ask for courage to bear it. We bring you our thanks for Kobe who lived among us and gave us freely of his love. We commit our friend and companion Kobe into your loving hands. Give us eyes to see how your love embraces all creatures and every living thing speaks to us of your love. Amen.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. Little MB will really appreciate that tomorrow.
Thanks:hug:
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
27. I am so sorry.
Edited on Sun Jun-24-07 09:57 PM by Maestro
Losing a pet is just as if it were a member of the family, BECAUSE THEY ARE. Like Philboy said, I would break it to her easy and make sure she knows that Kobe did not suffer which is probably the truth.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Thanks Maestro. I feel so bad not knowing how long he was out
in the road. I think it was quick though - at least that is what I keep telling myself,
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
29. oh no
oh he looks like a GREAT cat, all cats with socks are so special.
The thing to remember when this stuff happens is that they all have to someday pass away somehow just like we do and even though he was having such a happy life his end was relatively quick (I am so sorry you had to see it..) and his life, the whole thing up to then, was so happy and great and he was lucky to live with your family. After a while I hope she'll just look back and remember great stuff like that picture, Kobe's had a great life! :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. He did have a great life....and I suppose he wanted so badly to
b e outdoors - that it was fitting. The poor thing was only 4 years old and I had just bought him a new reflective collar yesterday. I joked that I was going to get him fitted for a reflective suit because I just wasn't sure about him being out.
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:13 PM
Response to Original message
31. I am so sorry.
There really are no words of comfort I can give. I've been there and it's an inconsolable time for a while. :cry:

Kobe looks happy and loved in that picture. As short as it was, it looks like he had a great life.

Mz Pip
:dem:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:38 AM
Response to Reply #31
44. He had a great life. Thanks Mz Pip.
We are so heartbroken.:cry:
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
32. My dear malta blue....
I am sooooooo sorry, sweetie...

You have some great advice here, so all I can give you three are my hugs and my love...

:grouphug: :loveya: :grouphug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:39 AM
Response to Reply #32
45. Thanks California Peggy.
Those hugs are very needed and much appreciated.

:cry: :hug:
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dEMOK Donating Member (833 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
33. My girlfrind & I lost our good friend/cat "Squiba" recently...
Edited on Sun Jun-24-07 10:42 PM by dEMOK
What a magnificent creature he was.

Maybe this will be helpful to you & your family -- http://petloss.com


Also, I'm fairly certain that this will be of particular help to you, in talking with little MB, and having a memorial...

The Rainbow Bridge story -- An answer to: Where do our pets go when they die? ...http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

I hope this helps :hug:
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dEMOK Donating Member (833 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:45 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. I just corrected the second link...
...
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:47 AM
Response to Reply #34
50. Thanks. I will check those out and hopefully get some good
advice/answers for her.
:pals:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #34
78. I submitted Kobe's name to the list so that he will
be honored tonight at the candle ceremony.

Thank you for the information.:hug:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
35. I'm sorry
I wish I had some good advice, but I don't.

However, I do remember when I was 10 years old, I was glad whenever my parents were honest with me about things like that.

Hugs for you and your family... :hug: :hug: :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:41 AM
Response to Reply #35
46. I plan on being totally honest with her.
Mr MB cried so long and so hard last night. I feel so horrible for him.

He will bury Kobe tonight after we tell little MB.:cry:
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mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
36. Rest in Peace, Kobe...
my thoughts are with you and your family
Kobe is a beautiful tuxedo boy
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:42 AM
Response to Reply #36
47. He was a beautiful cat.
He had the longest legs I have ever seen on a cat....I used to sing the "Supermodel" song to him...:cry:
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 10:48 PM
Response to Original message
37. I'm sorry for your loss.
It's so hard to lose a pet, especially for kids. :pals:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:45 AM
Response to Reply #37
49. I feel so sad that she has had so many changes in
Edited on Mon Jun-25-07 06:46 AM by malta blue
her life in the past weeks. A new house, camp starts today, and this. All I can do is hold her close and let her grieve. My poor little girl.

:cry:

on edit: I can't spell right now.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-24-07 11:35 PM
Response to Original message
38. Oh, I'm so sorry...
It's so much harder when you have to break the news to your kids. :-(

All you can do is tell her the truth, and hold her close. :hug::hug::hug:

That picture is so sweet... :cry:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:48 AM
Response to Reply #38
51. Thanks GoG
I plan on framing that picture for her, and printing out the prayer that xchrom posted above. Hopefully she will find some comfort in those words.:hug:
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Bluestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:43 AM
Response to Original message
39. Oh, I am so sad for you and your family
Kobe looks like my dear departed kitty cat, Linus. I loved that cat more than anything so I can feel your grief.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:52 AM
Response to Reply #39
52. Thanks Bluestar.
DH is still distraught. I don't know what I can do to help him right now.:cry:
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KT2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:43 AM
Response to Original message
40. I am so sorry
What a wonderful cat.
I think you just tell your daughter what happened and just remember that you can't make it better for her. She just has to go through the loss and the pain and then she will be alright. She will remember him forever.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:54 AM
Response to Reply #40
53. Thanks KT2000. Little MB will deal with this in her own
special way.:cry:
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boilerbabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 02:44 AM
Response to Original message
42. Oh you poor baby!!
I am sorry to hear of your kittie's demise...been there, too. Except I didn't have to explain it to a daughter. I wish I could have all the kitties I started out with back in 1978..I would have like 30 and they would take over my house and i would let them, too.

Just let her know he got hit by a car or whatever. I don't let my current kitties out for that reason. I learned my lesson. I had to try to bury my kitty "Udo" after he got "hit and runned."

I remember moving when I was in CA years ago, and my favorite kitty went out the door never to be seen again, and I looked and looked, but never found her. (I kept going to the "pound" and bringing home dogs, cats, you name it!! I can't go to a pound because I will wind up being a "pet hoarder"!!

I have been through all sorts of pet dilemnae (sp?)...and I am sure my kittens hate being stuck indoors, but they can wreck the furniture at will and bug the daylights out of me for "wet food". I don't know if it's a trade-off or not, but it's a lot less stressful, they will hopefully outlive me and I will leave everything to them in my will!!

It took me a long time to be able to accept the death or disappearance of any of my pets, but after a while, I found that life is harsh, and the best I could do is try to alleviate that.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:56 AM
Response to Reply #42
54. The saddest part is that the person did not stop.
He was still breathing when we found him, but I don't know how long he had been there. And it was right in front of the house. Why couldn't they just stop and peek at his tags. The address was right there.:cry:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:38 AM
Response to Original message
43. A shameless kick for Kobe :(
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MissHoneychurch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:43 AM
Response to Original message
48. I am so sorry malta blue
it is so horrible to have a furbaby die. My first cat died on the road side as well. I was the one who found him. I was 12 years old. It was horrible. At least he didn't had any outside wounds. I still don't know if he got hit by a car or if he got poisoned.

Is there a chance to let her say goodbye to him? Stroke his fur one last time? That might help. My mom and dad helped me by making a nice evening for me. A funny movie to take my mind of the dead cat.

:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:57 AM
Response to Reply #48
55. We will bury him tonight with her.
Mr MB broke out a 1983 Mondavi reserve wine, and we drank most of it. We saved the last bits to pour over Kobe's grave tonight.

We will let little MB give him one last pet. I wish there was something more I could do, but I just have to be honest with her.
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MissHoneychurch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:59 AM
Response to Reply #55
56. Honesty is the best thing
as hard it is :hug:

MAybe after a period of time you can go to a shelter with her and let her pick out a new kitty?
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 07:05 AM
Response to Reply #56
57. I am leaning towards doing that around Christmas time or
something like that. I don't think Mr MB can handle it much sooner than that. We still have the dog, but the dog is really my pet and doesn't pay much attention to anyone other than me. I think I will work to train the dog to respond to her as well. Perhaps that will help ease the pain.
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MissHoneychurch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 07:08 AM
Response to Reply #57
58. Another idea
print the picture of your daughter with Kobe you posted here. Give it to her. It is such a beautiful picture of the two.

Christmas time is a good time.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 07:11 AM
Response to Reply #58
59. I am already planning on doing that and framing it along
with the comforting words that xchrom posted above.

I hope she will find some comfort in that. I keep looking at that picture and it is breaking my heart.:cry:
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:00 AM
Response to Original message
60. I'm so sorry.
I wish there was something to say that could comfort you, your dh and your little girl. It's so hard losing a precious pet.

Kobe was a handsome boy. Please tell your family how sorry we all are for your loss.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:02 AM
Response to Reply #60
61. Thanks...I am trying to keep it together right now
but the tears just keep pouring down my face here in the *)&# cube maze. :cry:
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:32 AM
Response to Reply #61
66. Oh malta
:hug:

I so wish there was a way to ease your pain.

If I may make a suggestion for your daughter. Let her be part of the funeral if she chooses. When we lost our grandkitty almost two years ago, we spoke with our then 6 yr old granddaughter and she wanted to take part in the funeral. She wrote her own story/poem and read it and chose the toys to bury with her kitty..which ended up being all of them. Later my daughter purchased a kitty stepping stone for Sammy's grave and that gave our granddaughter a place to care for and a place to grieve. Even now, two years later, she has another cat but she still tends Sammy's grave site making sure the flowers are growing and the weeds pulled.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #66
68. I am giving her the beautiful prayer that xchrom posted above
and she will make the choice as to whether she wants to participate. I am so thankful that she was not home last night when it all happened because the drama and hysteria was running high. She was at her dad's house. I called him hysterical asking for the phone number to an animal hospital (we had just moved into the house and I didn't even know where my laptop was). he was incredibly (and surprisingly) supportive, even offered to come pick us up and take us to the vet but it was too late. He offered to tell little MB this morning but we decided it was not the greatest way to send her off to her first day at camp.

We drank a special wine last night and toasted Kobe. We reserved a little to pour on his grave tonight when we bury him. I will help little MB plant some flowers by the grave and get her a marker, although Mr MB does not particularly want a marker - but I think she will lose track of it without one.

Thank you for sharing your story. It is inspiring to see that your granddaughter has taken this so well.

:hug:
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #68
72. I'm glad she wasn't home too.
That would have been very traumatic for her. At least for our granddaughter, she knew her kitty was having complications after having surgery.

At first I wasn't too crazy about having a marker either, but then my daughter talked to me about the 4 other kitties that were buried over the years in the 10x50 flower bed area and we've lost track of exact locations for two.

Please tell little MB that OVCO and granddaughterOVCO send hugs.

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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #72
74. I suppose there is no easy solution to this.
Kobe slept with her every night - her bed will feel empty tonight.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #74
76. I wish there was an easy way
but as you said there really isn't. No matter what, she's going to hurt and be terribly sad. I think each child, just like adults, will handle grieving in different ways.

My daughter thought that getting my granddaughter a new kitten would help ease the pain. She got a 6 week old kitten within weeks after Sammy's death. While it did help keep my granddaughter occupied and give her something to hug and love, she'd still cry and talk about missing her Sammy.

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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #76
77. I plan on getting a new kitten but I have to wait until
Mr MB is ready too. It was his cat after all, and I know that when my dog passes I will be inconsolable and will reject any thought of a new dog for quite some time.

Thank you so much for your help with this. :hug:
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
67. Oh no!
I'm so so sorry.

:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #67
69. Thanks BNL
This is so shocking to me - I don't know when it will wear off.:cry:
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Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
70. That is terrible
I am sorry. Hugs to your whole family.

:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #70
71. Thank you.
I am worried about Mr. MB. He just called saying he is not doing so well and he has to deal with his boss right now. :cry:
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
73. I am so sorry, Malta Blue.
Losing any member of the family is so hard.

You have some great advice in these posts.
Telling her the truth, as gently as possible,
is the way to go.

I have lost many cats in 50 years of
having them. They are great companions
and each one leaves a pawprint on our hearts.

My condolences to you and your family
at this difficult time.

The pain will subside but we never forget them.

:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #73
75. Thank you Kajsa
My pain is minimal compared to Mr. MB and little MB (after we tell her tonight). I know that the truth is the only way to go, it will just hurt her little soul so much - and it will devastate me to see her in pain.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
80. OMG, Malta!
:hug: I am so sorry. :hug: On top of everything else, this happened. :pals: My heart goes out to you and to your daughter. :cry:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:55 AM
Response to Reply #80
81. Thank you so much NWC1981.
It seems inconceivable that anything else could go wrong, but I suppose I was wrong.

:cry:

Thanks for your good wishes and keep Little MB and Mr MB in your thoughts today. They need all the support they can get.:hug: :pals: :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 12:13 PM
Response to Original message
82. Another kick for Kobe....DUers - please send me some
good vibes. I have to tell little MB in about 2 hours....
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #82
95. I am off to meet with little MB now....
we will have a candlelight vigil for Kobe this evening at dusk.
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Spacemom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:02 PM
Response to Original message
83. I'm so, so sorry MB
We too are great pet lovers, and have had many pets through the years, but I hate telling my children when we lose one.

All you can do is love your children, and hope they understand.

:hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #83
84. Thanks Spacemom
My little one will hopefully recover from the shock quickly.

Mr. MB is distraught, he wants to be alone now. I am letting him have his space now. I just want him to hold up for the burial until we can all do it together.
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:20 PM
Response to Original message
85. I'm so sorry Malta Blue. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet.
My eyes are welling up reading your posts. Let us know how everything goes. RIP Kobe.

I think the one of the hardest things about losing a pet is that many people just don't understand. Even some people who have pets see them as more of an accessory or something, definitely not a dear family member. So it's really hard at work because there are so many people who don't understand why you can't keep it together. Even though if it was a human family member you lost, they would be *totally* supportive. It's weird. I know I was devastated when my little guy Beans died a few years ago, and will be even more of a wreck when I lose Frankie. He's my heart and soul.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #85
87. It is almost surreal to have it happen at this time.
This time was supposed to be a special and joyous time for us, our first weekend in the new house. Now we have this happen. Kobe was a young cat in the prime of his life, a life that he may not have had if not for Mr. MB. Mr MB always said that Kobe was a special cat since he was rescued the day before all his littermates were euthanized.

Work has been a challenge, thankfully most people that I am friends with now are aware of what has happened and are blocking off people from bothering me.

I feel such a deep sense of loss over Kobe and he was relatively new to me. My dog is 14 years old, and has been through everything with me. I got her a few months after I graduated college and she has been there through a marriage, a baby, a divorce, another marriage, everything. Other than my immediate human family, the dog is the only thing that has been constant. I dread the day when I have to say goodbye to her.
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judaspriestess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
86. what a gorgeous baby he was
I am so sorry for your loss.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #86
88. Thank you so much.
My poor DH is so sad. My poor little girl will experience the first real loss of her life. I hurt so badly for both of them.
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racaulk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
89. So sorry to hear this, malta blue.
Our pets are our children, aren't they? I can only imagine your grief at just having lost one. Kobe was a beautiful cat, I'm sure he will be missed by all of your family. I just hope your daughter isn't upset too greatly at the loss.

I really don't know what to say, so I'll just offer you a virtual one of these... :hug:

All the best to you and your family. My heart is with you.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #89
91. They truly are our children.
Thanks for the hugs. I need them desperately right now. My little one will find out very soon and I want so badly to take the pain from her.:hug:
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
93. Sorry to hear of your loss
We lost our dog, Ozzie, in mid-April and it still stings when I wake and don't see him or when we come home from work and he's not there.

We buried him as a family and planted a tree above his grave-site so he'll always be out in the shade.

Good luck to you and your loved ones in working through your grief. :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #93
94. Thanks Debi.
I want to set up a memorial for Kobe. I am not sure how Mr. MB wants to bury him yet. He has had to be with his boss all day and I am sure he is desperate to get out of there. He has not been able to communicate too much today.

I want us to bury Kobe all together today, but perhaps Mr MB wants to do it alone since it was his cat. He wanted to mourn alone last night....

Thank you and I am sorry to hear of your loss as well.:hug:
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AndreaCG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 03:09 PM
Response to Original message
96. How sad
My condolences to your family.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #96
100. Thank you.
Mr. MB is digging his grave.
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 04:29 PM
Response to Original message
97. I am so sorry, MB
Kitties should never die...esp. 'seedo kitties.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 05:23 PM
Response to Reply #97
101. Poor Kobe is buried now.
We are united in our grief.
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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 04:32 PM
Response to Original message
98. Safe passage, Kobe.
Might you be free from suffering now. Peace and comfort to you and yours, malta blue. :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #98
102. Thanks CMW - we are comforting little MB
Mr MB is handling it well right now.
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Rising Phoenix Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
99. I'm sorry about your kitty....
how did she take it?
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #99
103. Little MB handled it like a champion....
We said the prayers that xchrom posted above and we read the rainbow bridge.

Thanks Rising Phoenix....:hug:
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
104. I'm so sorry for your loss, MB
I know all too well how it feels to lose a beloved fur kid-I lost quite a few when I was little MB's age as well. :hug: to you both.

:loveya:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:07 PM
Response to Reply #104
105. Thank you Lorien.
Little MB has handled it well so far. She will miss him in bed tonight...
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
106. I am so sorry about your Kobe.
:hug::hug::hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #106
111. Thank you.
He is resting peacefully and we are all trying the best we can. Little MB has become unconsolable now. She can't sleep because he is not there.:cry:
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
107. I am so sorry for your loss.
:cry: :pals: :hug: :grouphug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #107
112. Little MB is so sad right now. She and DH are curled up
in bed together because neither one can sleep.:cry:
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #112
115. It is so hard to lose a pet at any age, but when you are a kid
and you lost a pet, it is often your first experience with something dying.

While difficult, you did the right thing in not sheltering your child from the tragic loss of Kobe.

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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
109. Sad
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

:cry: :cry: :cry: :hug: :hug:
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #109
113. We read this as we filled in his grave.
I thought it would bring little MB some comfort but she is so upset right now. Nothing is the same without her Kobe.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
114. *** A poem for Kobe from Little MB, age 8 ***
Oh Kobe we love you
As we always have
Because you are the best
We will not become mad.

We are your best friends
We still want you here
Although you are gone
You I can still hear.

Oh wonderful Kobe
We miss you dear
Oh Kobe we want you
Right at our ear.

Sweet Kobe, good Kobe
You are close to our hearts
You are at rainbow bridge
But never to part.

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Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #114
117. awww
What touching words. :cry:

My heart goes out to you guys.

:hug:
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #114
124. .
:hug:
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qanda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
118. Oh, I'm so sorry
I hope your husband won't beat himself up too much about it. You all have a lot to deal with right now and blame and guilt won't help anything right now. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
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DainBramaged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
119. Tears
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

I always tell myself I am not going to read these threads and then I do.


I had that happen to me in the early Eighties when a favorite cat, Cudsworth the First just HAD to go out one night, and no more than I closed the front door than he was hit by a car that came too close to the end of the driveway. The boy stopped, but I knew he could not have seen my pitch black Cuds. He breathed he last breath a few seconds after I got to him, no sight in his eyes, no understanding of what happened. The next day, we decided to move. He was the fourth (and last ) of our fur babies to die on that road. We lost Willie, Gatherer of cats, Oreo his beloved Mother, and my first Roscoe there. I sit and remember them when I read threads like this and it always brings tears. And I know how badly you must feel. I understand the pain for your loss of Kobe.


I don't know what advice to offer you on how best to tell little MB, but he'll be there forever, as mine have been for me.


All my best,
Dain
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virgdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-25-07 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
120. I am so sorry to hear that you lost Kobe...
He looked just like my cat Sylvester, who is now meowing outside the door. Tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the death of my Cleo, who died of a stroke. It is so hard to lose them, they do not live nearly as long as we would like or need them to. Take the time to grieve and take as long as you need. There is no set time, each of us reacts differently. Time will heal the soul, and that is all you will need. All you need to do is to remember the good times with Kobe with love.
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dEMOK Donating Member (833 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
121. Kobe Himself Goes to Heaven...

...while the empty vessel which was his body -- remains on Earth to nourish a variety of new life.

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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
122. How terrible - I'm so sorry
How you must be grieving. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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Pushed To The Left Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-26-07 12:53 AM
Response to Original message
125. I'm sorry to hear about your loss
Sounds like he was a great cat :hug:
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