In spite of underpants' most stellar efforts at forecasting,

[Midlodemocrat]

he didn't mention that it would rain today. So, I had 16 eleven year olds halfway into a birthday party and just about to play concentration on the driveway when it started thundering and pouring.

So, we moved Twister Video indoors and had cake. It was an event from which I doubt I will recover.

I am now drinking. And, I am going to continue drinking until I am dead.

If you don't hear from me, that's where I am. Dead from too many kids screaming and being all around pains in the ass.

One of the little shits said "I don't like this party, there's too much candy". :wtf: Who says something like that?

Plus, I ran out of drinks and had to make lemonade and some of them were mad because they don't like lemonade.

Get.The.Fuck.Out.Of.My.House.You.Little.Bag.of wombat.doo.

[LostinVA]

1. Best. Post. Bitching. About. Kids. Ever.

It's a good thing Barefoot's always on sale at Giant, eh?

[Midlodemocrat]

2. The power is out on the main drag, so I was forced to pay

$11.00 for the big bottle at Lucky's.

Like I cared. Give me the fucking wine you douchebag cashier.

[LostinVA]

3. It sounds like you need the big bottle, anyway

[Midlodemocrat]

4. I bought two of them.

:hide:

Yep. I did.

:rofl:

I figured I was there, why waste gas?

[LostinVA]

7. You're not a drunk

You're just a low carbon footprint drinker.

[DS1]

9. Nah, she just sees a half-empty glass

( a lot )

[LostinVA]

11. I know she does

I've gone out to lunch with her a couple times.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Listen you masshole. This was quite possibly one of the

sorriest experiences of my life. I am going to forget all about with a glass or two of deliciously cheap chardonnay.

Those other people in my house can order pizza.

[DS1]

8. Alright, double-fisting Midlo!

:bounce:

[AllegroRondo]

16. Happiness isnt in the bottom of a bottle

its in the top of the next one!

:party:

[JackBeck]

5. You just reminded me:

Need to pick-up some vodka after work.

We had a brownout earlier at work and the AC has been down for 2 hours. I've been getting up and walking around the office just so I can feel some air moving around me. If there were kids running around right now yelling at me I would probably rip out my eardrums by this point.

:toast:

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Ooh, yeah and the power went out for a bit because of the storm.

I figure you probably heard them all screaming from there.

Why, yes, I WILL have another glass!

:toast:

[SoCalDem]

6. Oooh. I hosted a party like that once..

Only every one of the little bastards i invited showed up with a sibling or two (can you say free daycare??)..

and it sleeted and snowed.. I had coats all over the place and about 30 kids from 3-10 yrs old..running from one end of the house to the other for about FOUR HOURS..

I had planned for a nice balmy patio party for about 10 kids, and ended up with a Cuckoo's nest Rampage of sugar-rushed kid-fiends..

The birthday boy vacated the party and went to the park with his brother during the melee', and I ended up babysitting the whole neighborhood.

[Midlodemocrat]

10. I love the parents that are 'late' picking them up.

Hello? I just watched your brat for three hours and the outside party got rained out so it's now an inside party and I want them all to GO THE FUCK HOME.

:breathe:

[Connonym]

18. oh you know what's even BETTER than that?

You have a party at Chuckie Cheese and a parent picks up their kid and doesn't bother to TELL you. I was frantically looking for a "missing" kid for a good hour.

I swear to god that from now on I'll require a permission slip with emergency contact numbers.

[Connonym]

13. I'll have one of what Midlo is drinking

I would totally smack my kid up alongside the head if I found out they ever complained about candy. Oy. Ingrates. (send your extra candy here)

[Midlodemocrat]

14. Can you believe that?

My kids LOVE those kids of parties, where there is tons of candy, etc., because I don't keep a lot in the house.

I'm still going :wtf:

[LostinVA]

19. They're probably one of those annoying vegan kids

[Midlodemocrat]

20. Not this kid. She's a meat eater of the highest order.

She's also an amazing pain in the ass.

[LostinVA]

21. GIGGLE

At least the sun's out now, right?

[Midlodemocrat]

22. It's still raining here.

Not as much as before. OF.COURSE. but still raining.

I hate kids.

[greatauntoftriplets]

17. Oh, rub it in, will you???

I am at least TWO HOURS away from a drink and I need one badly! Now!!!

:cry:

[supernova]

23. Midlo, I very nearly choked

on my crackers and cheese trying to eat and read this thread!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

The too much candy kid: That child ain't right. :D

Glad you can relax now , though. :-)

[LaraMN]

24. Bwahaha! I'm sorry!

I can totally empathize. Same scenario, shorter kids.

I find that if you start loudly sobbing, rocking back and forth a little bit, and sputtering things like, "I was going to be a dancer... I was going to have such a beautiful life..." kids will miraculously become very quiet and well-behaved.

:thumbsup:

[bicentennial_baby]

26. ...

:rofl: OMG... :rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

28. I find that saying

"mommy drinks because you cry" works well also.

:rofl:

[NC_Nurse]

25. I remember those days...

don't miss'em a bit! :D

Some kids really show their ass at birthday parties. Especially the chronic whiners
"Why did you get a chocolate cake, I don't like chocolate" or
"I saw that clown at so-and-so's party already."

Life's a bitch, ain't it kid? How about I call and have your mom pick you up?

(Too bad I never had the nerve to say that.) ;)

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I'm never doing it again.

If she wants a party next year, we will take some friends to the movies. I don't care how much it costs, it's worth it.

[NC_Nurse]

29. You bet.

I started doing the bowling alley, skating, anything to avoid the little hellions all being IN MY HOUSE.
Works like a charm. We dumped them back at their houses too, so nobody could show up late to get them.

My daughter had her 21st last week. It was great hearing about her party the next day....on the phone. :)