You know what? I WANT to retire. You can take your "Second Career" ....

[Tyler Durden]

...and stick it up your "orifice of choice."

I caught about 5 minutes of the Diane Rheim show on NPR while driving to pick up some fast food garbage to stuff in my face for a so-called "lunch," when I heard some asshole talking about SECOND CAREERS AFTER THE 50'S. How we all want to stay "productive" and are searching for ways to inspire ourselves after the 50's.

BULL FUCKING SHIT.


I have been working FULL TIME since 1970. For the math challenged, that will work out to 43 years when I hit Social Security first shot.

I'm TIRED.

I'm TIRED of getting up at 5 am and working 10 hour days because some idiot thinks it's "productive."
I'm TIRED of getting chewed up the the grind every 5-10 years and having my seniority trashed so I keep being stuck at 2 lousy weeks VACA.
I'm TIRED of busting my hump and wracking my brains being creative and productive for some bunch of assholes so I can BEG for a lousy raise I DESERVE and getting shut down by some 6 figure fuck who wouldn't know how to work like I do if he HAD to.
I'm TIRED of being so exhausted that I can't get the exercise I need to keep from falling apart.
I'm just plain TIRED.

I look FORWARD to NOT working for a living (IF remotely possible). I'll help in the garden, volunteer for "Habitat," get more politically active....

FUCK work. RETIRE? Sign me up.

[HughBeaumont]

1. My dad does nothing but watch golf all day.

When you're in a Steel Mill for 37 years of your life, often working 12-16 hour days and on weekends, you tend not to want to do much once you escape.

Money be damned, I AM NOT working past the age of 60 for all of the reasons you listed. Humans aren't meant to wake up at the asscrack of dawn and spend 12 to 14 hours a day away from their families, wearing uncomfortable clothes you otherwise wouldn't even think TWICE of buying (unless you were a Young Republican) to make money in a prison-grey cubicle with zero scenery besides your radiated blue desktop. Your golden years should be YOURS, not some goddamned retail company's. Corporate America is NOT entitled to cradle-to-grave wage-slavery.

And at least 98% of us don't have "Google jobs", where there's pool tables, pinball machines and health clubs. We get 2 weeks of vacation if we're lucky and health care only after we pass a 6-month probationary period. We deal with nasally-voiced bosses with bad hygiene that make Bill Lumbergh look like a saint in comparison. We deal with mental abuse, guilt, depression; the constant fear and the voice in the back of your head that states "Is this going to be my last day here? Am I doing something wrong?".

Corporate America no longer works for the average stay-in-one-place Joe, and even less so now. It's beginning to look as if an MBA will no longer help a worker advance to any higher level of salary, but merely a requirement to their employability. An MBA. Just to remain employable. How did that happen? What's the point of HIGHER education if there's so little ROI from it?

As the years go by and more and more ladder-climber extroverted sociopath Repukes control the upper echelons of management, the chances of advancement simply to get ahead in life, God Forbid, just dwindle.

This is why I don't believe in "If you work hard and you're really determined, you'll go FAR in life" anymore. NO. That is bullshit. That is a cliche. My dad worked hard for 40 years. All he got out of it was two kidney operations, three layoffs, a defibrilator, shaky hands, tons of meds and a soon-to-be-cut-in-half pension.

At least he was "lucky" enough that his "layoff" meant he would return to the same job when business picked up, whereas our layoff means "get the fuck out" with security escorting you from the building with everyone staring as if you embezzled money from the company or something.

I believe hard work is about a 5% determinant of a person's success in life; with personality, connections, luck and family fortune having far more to do with it.

I envy ANYONE who is able to retire. I would travel my ass off. Hike. Drive. Write books. Compose. Do what you WANT to do. Do what you would have done, had you not had the cubicle ball-and-chain forced upon you.

[Tyler Durden]

4. God bless him, and LOVE your sig line.

[HughBeaumont]

11. That's from "Matinee".

VERY underrated movie about early 60s novelty horror movies in Cold-War era Florida.

It's one of the last lines of the movie.

[truedelphi]

9. He's right - that is a great sig line.

Everything else you wrote is pretty great too.

[idgiehkt]

17. What a great post!

:applause:

[hfojvt]

25. it's sad that he only watches golf though

I still keep busy in my retirement, even if it is only reading, writing and researching on the internets. Of course, I am only 45 and also only partly retired (working part time just like most retired morons do) It drives me nuts when retired people say they are bored at home or complain that they just cannot live on $15,000 a year.

[Dulcinea]

35. Hear, hear!

And heaven forbid you should 1. be female, 2. decide to have kids, & 3. want to go part-time.

I job-share with another woman where I work. I work 24 hr/week so I have more time with my kids & maybe a little more time for myself! Anyway, my annual reviews have gone steadily DOWNWARD every year since I began this arrangement, with me being put on "probation" a few months ago due to an "unsatisfactory" job performance, even though the quality of my work hasn't changed. Apparently I'm not a "leader" or a "role model." What bullshit! They're trying to push me out because my family is more important to me than stock prices or kissing the asses of the fat cats! Hell, I wish they'd lay me off & give me a severance. Then I'd pursue what I really want to do--freelance writing.

:rant:

[raccoon]

2. You won't get any argument from me. I'd love to be retired.

I'd travel and do volunteer work.

I think it was Barbara Vine (Ruth Rendell) who said in a novel that if work was such a great thing, the rich would have kept it for themselves.

Along with the work itself, dealing with office politics, psycho bosses, and co-workers....I wouldn't miss it at all.

[Tyler Durden]

3. I think the wierdest thing was listening to this guy talk up essentially working until you die.

Whatever happened to Grampa watching the grandkids once in a while, taking them to the zoo? I remember the day my Grandfather retired like it was yesterday: I was there watching, and after the applause he leaned down to me and said "Boy, are we going to have some fun NOW!"

I should add into my desired retirement activities Museum or Zoo Docent.

[Tulum_Moon]

7. Retired people make me mad

When they take up a job "just to keep themselves busy". What they are doing is taking a job a young person could be hired at. I know a retired person who took a job watering office plants in the afternoon. That would be a perfect job for a teenager or someone who really needed some money.:mad:

[Tyler Durden]

21. I've got PLENTY to "keep me busy" outside of work RIGHT NOW.

If I want to water plants, I've got a garden; inside and outside.

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. Tyler...

I feel what you are saying...

I "retired" 6 years ago, in my 40's, on Social Security Disabilty, after getting so damn sick that I thought I was days away from a dirt nap.

This was after busting my balls for ungrateful bosses who went home with their families every evening while I worked all night to clean up their messes.

Yep...I got my "atta boy's". I got my bonuses. I got my "philboy, what would we do without you's".

Know what else I got? I got chronic illness. For an employer. For a fucking employer. Because, I have worked like an idiot since age 14, because that is "the Italian way", where a man's worth is measured by his work ethic. That's fine, until you work so hard that you get sick...and guess what? no one is there to save you, you are on your own. Those people that you killed yourself for? They can't help you...they are too busy blowing their higher up's so perhaps they won't lose their job in the next round of layoffs.

So, it has taken me 6 years to get over guilt from not working. To get over guilt from "friends" saying...."don't you feel guilty for taking money from Social Security"?

And here's what I tell them..."First, I am drawing money from a system that I paid into. Secondly, this week I had the time to brighten the lives of several elderly people. I had the time to solve some problems for my elderly mother. I had the time to play with my dogs. I had the time to help my nephew with his resume'. I had the time to take care of my health so hopefully I can help others for a few more years. You know what you had the time for? You had the time to make your idiot boss shine by being his slave".

Sorry for the rant...but I know first hand what happens to you when you give too much of yourself to a job. And remember, no one will save you but yourself.

[Tyler Durden]

15. They would do it to all of us if they could.

Believe me, I know too. I hope your illness does not give you more grief than you can handle.

[raccoon]

26. Yall google "fire" "Imperial" "Hamlet, NC" if you believe horrific

work "accidents" don't happen in the US any more.

And if you're from NC, take heart, it's not just NC; could've happened in any of the other 49.

[SPKrazy]

24. My God that is great advice!

it is no shit that we are slaves to corporate masters. Many of us feeling like nothing more than an ATM at times to those who depend on us.

Just a great post Philboy! :yourock:

[LeftyFingerPop]

34. Coming from you my friend...

your words truly mean a lot to me. Thank you. And I know we joke around in here like there is no tomorrow, but you are one straight shooting goodfella.

[slj0101]

6. Some people get stir crazy.

My SO's uncle was some sort of higher-up with IBM, within months of retirement, he took a job doing airport security. He just had a lot of time on its hands. He certainly didn't need the money.

Me- I'd find a few ways to keep busy without working. :)

[MissMillie]

8. it took me 42 years to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up

the answer is "retired"

[truedelphi]

10. Heh Heh

Same Here.

[wildhorses]

12. my j-o-b looks like this --- does yours?

:banghead:


:yourock:

[Tyler Durden]

14. Wouldn't you just LOVE to not have to say every day at 5PM:

What a LOUSY day. I need a drink.

[HughBeaumont]

32. This is what I envision doing on MY very last day of work:

Going to our nearest good beach, with a chair, an ear-to-ear grin and an mp3 player, stick on "What a Wonderful World" on repeat and look at the water. Then I'd go home and pack for a six-month vacation and go to every place I couldn't go to while being enslaved in a cubi-cell.

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. You and me both...

Just a bit more than 8 years and counting....

I know that working with a bunch of douchebags is why I need 11 hours of sleep Friday and Saturday nights.

:banghead:

[Crazy Dave]

16. I'm with you dude

If I do anything after 50 it will be handing out shopping carts at Wal-Mart. Something where there's no thinking involved. I'm taking the early retirement too when I'm 62. I'm one of those lucky bastards that will have more income when I retire than I do now.

[rhiannon55]

18. Oh my god, me too!

At 55, I have another 7 to 10 years before I can relax and just LIVE. I find myself envying people who are sick enough to go on disability, or get injured and win a lawsuit, or lose a parent and inherit enough money to live on. And how sick is that? I HATE working 40 hours every week just to keep a roof over my head. Retirement can't come soon enough!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. ---

:hug:

[Tyler Durden]

20. I wuv you too.

[cloudbase]

22. Some of the best advice I ever got

was that you've never heard of anyone on their deathbed saying they wish that they'd worked longer or harder. I'm 52 and retired on my own terms. It can be done with a bit of discipline and some luck. Now I spend my time doing what I want to do, and I've got no regrets.

[femmocrat]

23. I hear ya!

I am tempted to get one of those countdown clocks! I have about 2 1/2 more years, IF I can figure out how to retire with a healthcare plan.

Right now healthcare is all that is keeping me on the job. It's a shame, because my job could certainly go to a young person who is still idealistic and creative, and not burned out like I am.

When people ask me what I plan to do when I retire, I smile and say, "Whatever I damn well please!"

[trof]

27. Yeah, and don't fall into the "What'll I do?" trap.

I retired in 1999.
Since I had been an airline pilot, the transition wasn't as drastic as it is for 8 to 5 working stiffs.
I was used to having several days, even a couple of weeks, off at a time.

Having said that, I felt like I needed something to 'do' and wanted it to be something worthwhile.

Without going into the boring details, I volunteered to become more active in some organizations I belonged to. Environmental, local library support group, political club, stuff like that.

Before long I seemed to be going to meetings all the time.
I found out I HATE MEETINGS!
We spent an inordinate amount of time wrangling over petty details.
And the meetings were almost all in the evening.
For me, evening is HAPPY HOUR and then dinner.

So, after a few years of this, I began to cut back.
Now I've got it at a more-or-less manageable level and plan to eventually cut back even more.

When you retire, take some time to just do nothing.

[cobalt1999]

28. Nine years to go.

I'll be 55 and that's it for me. My youngest will have graduated HS, I'll have enough to buy a sailboat and I'm gone. The only thing I might do is work as a captain here and there. I have my captains license and I wouldn't mind doing a delivery here and there, but I wouldn't really consider that work.

[The2ndWheel]

29. That's a good rant

Turn the switch off more often.

[China_cat]

30. Yeah, we'd like to retire, too.

Unfortunately, unless we keep that second (and third) career, we're out on the street and don't eat. THAT'S what's meant by 'staying productive'. It's a euphemism for being able to exist.

[Tyler Durden]

31. My point also.

The Powers That Be would be just as happy if they could work you until they have to call the undertaker to make room for someone to occupy your space.

[AlCzervik]

33. My Dad is 67 and he's kind of retired, his second career is something he loves

to do, he's a flight instructor and sells the occasional aircraft which he will fly to it's new destination. He did retire about 10 years ago but he couldn't take it so he started flying again, first he did charter air service out of Providence RI and then he started volunteering for the New England organ bank, he still does that--need a kidney-he's your guy to deliver it.

He is way happier with that part of his life now, he was always his own boss but his schedule used to be ridiculous, now he does what he loves when he feels like it.