Patiod
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Thu Aug-02-07 11:12 AM
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Actual quotes that are funny, even out of context |
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My neighbor knocked on our door recently to say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your cat is in my car." (she had crawled in through the sunroof) I laugh every time I think of that.
Got any of your own?
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mzteris
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Thu Aug-02-07 11:20 AM
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1. "Don't kick the fish, son"... n/t |
Elidor
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:00 PM
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2. A couple of aquaintances had been up for over 24 hours after a family emergency |
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A hospital doctor gave them some sleeping pills so they could get some rest. One of them says to her husband, after he's just fallen asleep, "Wake up, Ron, I have a sleeping pill for you."
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Crazy Dave
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:22 PM
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My wife has woke me up from a sound sleep numerous times to ask me, "Are you awake?" or "Did you hear that noise?"
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Hugin
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:03 PM
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3. "Lead floats on gold..." |
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Is my current mondo.
It came up once when were were discussing management... :)
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MonkeyFunk
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:10 PM
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at a poker club, I had to say
"Dealer - could you please ask the gentleman in seat 2 to stop licking the chips?"
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Hugin
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:11 PM
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5. "Money is non-refundable." |
Patiod
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Thu Aug-02-07 07:05 PM
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FloridaJudy
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Thu Aug-02-07 12:47 PM
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7. "Waiter, there's a tooth in my snails!" |
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("Oiga, camerero! Hay un diente in mis caracoles.")
It really did happen to me in a small restaurant in Northern Spain: it appeared to be a human molar with a silver filling. To this day, I have no idea how the tooth got in the plate of caracoles alioli. The restaurant comped me on the dinner.
"'Excuse me - I'm looking for a depressed Buddhist', I said to the librarian". I'd been browsing the shelves of my local library. When I opened a copy of "The Zen Path Through Depression", a fifty dollar WalMart gift certificate from "Mom - To Marlene" dropped out. I do tend to be honest, but mostly I couldn't resist using that line!
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Patiod
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Thu Aug-02-07 07:05 PM
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8. and you knew how to complain about en espanol! |
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I would have just screamed
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Connonym
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Fri Aug-03-07 04:33 AM
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15. I found a human tooth in my cheese a couple weeks ago, eww eh? |
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bought a chunk of aged cheddar at a local cheese shop and, god I still shudder to think of it, found a human baby tooth inside it.
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MrScorpio
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Thu Aug-02-07 07:11 PM
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10. I was walking on an Amsterdam's Red Light District street, turning the corner... |
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When I heard a woman say in an unmistakable American accent, "Oh you love it when I stick my finger in your ass."
I took too long to turn back to see who said it, and since the street was crowded it could have been anyone.
Damn, I miss Amsterdam
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mokawanis
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Thu Aug-02-07 07:44 PM
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From an English newspaper:
Warm and dry, but cooler, with rain.
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MonkeyFunk
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Fri Aug-03-07 03:28 AM
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the newspaper reported that "hail the size of hailstones pelted the area last night."
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Skittles
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Fri Aug-03-07 03:42 AM
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13. IM received from overseas at work |
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05:41PM Marco: HI Susan, did you have any problem which you called T&A ?
I sooooooo wanted to reply No Marco, I have no problem with my T&A
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cynatnite
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Fri Aug-03-07 04:03 AM
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14. My daughter commented on a car that left it's blinker on after switching lanes... |
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She smarted off with, "Better shut that off before your blinker fluid runs out"
Her guy friend said, "I didn't know they needed blinker fluid."
He really believed it and to this day we die laughing every time we talk about it.
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piesRsquare
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Fri Aug-03-07 05:17 AM
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16. Friend (on phone): "Hello [computer store]?" |
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Edited on Fri Aug-03-07 05:18 AM by piesRsquare
"I was at your store earlier today; I just got home and realized I forgot my memory..."
:rofl:
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DU
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Tue May 07th 2024, 11:38 AM
Response to Original message |