Lydia Leftcoast
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Sat Aug-04-07 10:46 PM
Original message |
Movie cliches: I just spotted one while channel surfing this evening |
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1. If the hero is trying to rescue someone trapped in a burning building/car/airplane, said building/car/airplane will explode in a fireball about 1 second after the hero has gotten the victim free and clear, and the explosion will knock both of them to the ground.
Here are some more:
2. If the villain is being chased by the good guy, he will try to escape up a ladder or to a roof from which there is no escape.
3. If you accidentally ask two people to the same dance, the way to handle it is to try to run back and forth between them.
4. Once you've figured out the dastardly plot to take over the world, you confide in your oldest and dearest friend, who turns out to be one of the masterminds of said dastardly plot.
5. Couples who hate each other at first sight will end up married or at least engaged by the end of the movie.
Your turn.
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ZombieNixon
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Sat Aug-04-07 10:51 PM
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Sat Aug-04-07 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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Edited on Sat Aug-04-07 11:05 PM by Lydia Leftcoast
:rofl:
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The Velveteen Ocelot
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Sat Aug-04-07 10:54 PM
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2. The evil mastermind always explains his nefarious plot to the good guy, |
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whom he has trapped or tied up and is holding at gun- or sword-point. That's stupid. If I'm the evil mastermind and I have managed to capture my nemesis, I don't explain a damn thing. I just kill him.
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PeaceNikki
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Sat Aug-04-07 11:02 PM
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6. This one has always bothered me. |
Lydia Leftcoast
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Sun Aug-05-07 01:54 AM
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12. Siskel and Ebert called this the "talking killer" cliche |
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The bad guy always talks just long enough for the cops or reinforcements or Barkie the Wonder Dog to arrive.
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sarge43
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Sun Aug-05-07 05:49 AM
Response to Reply #2 |
14. "You got me monologuing." |
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The Incredibles did a nice slam of that one.
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NewJeffCT
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Sun Aug-05-07 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
30. However, "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die" is one of the great movie villain lines |
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Yes, I know the evil mastermind monologuing is a cliche - but, that one was great.
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fudge stripe cookays
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Sun Aug-05-07 07:23 PM
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31. Is your name Scott Evil? |
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That killed me in Austin Powers where Dr. Evil was describing the plot, and Scott was saying, "Just let me shoot him! Boom! In the head! Just let me shoot him in the head!"
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BlueJazz
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Sat Aug-04-07 10:56 PM
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3. No matter what the size of the City or the amount of traffic vehicles..., |
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....the characters in the movie will always find a parking spot directly in front of the destination building.
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The Velveteen Ocelot
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Sat Aug-04-07 10:58 PM
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4. And they always have their car keys at hand when they jump in their cars. |
TommyO
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Sun Aug-05-07 07:26 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
16. Unless they're being pursued by a killer |
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then they'll fumble endlessly, dropping their keys outside of the car, and then again while trying to start it. Of course, no matter how hard they try, the car won't start!
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cynatnite
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Sat Aug-04-07 11:01 PM
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5. Just when the good guy is about to die... |
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he finally figures out at the last possible second how to beat the bad guy.
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NV Whino
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Sun Aug-05-07 12:08 AM
Response to Original message |
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you gotta put "spoilers" in your title. You've just ruined every movie I ever wanted to watch.
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Bakunin
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Sun Aug-05-07 01:22 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
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always confused by the most simple household tasks. All police detectives get yelled at by their boss just before being given a young quirky new partner as punishment. It only takes one punch to knock out a lower rung bad guy, but hundreds of punches and a couple of chairs for the head baddie.
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FloridaJudy
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Sun Aug-05-07 01:33 AM
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1) The harsh Master Sergeant invariably has a heart of gold.
2) The African-American soldier makes jokes about not needing night camouflage.
3) The young soldier who passes around a picture of his sweetheart, and rhapsodizes about how they're going to be married as soon as he gets back always dies.
4) The soldier with the "ethnic" name makes a speech about how his parents left the Old Country to find freedom in America.
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krispos42
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Sun Aug-05-07 01:41 AM
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11. The good guys always have JUST enough ammo to kill the lower-rung baddies |
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but, dammit, they always run out just as they meet the head baddie.
Revolvers tend to shoot a dozen or so rounds, too.
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Sun Aug-05-07 01:58 AM
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13. I remembered another one: |
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Women are incapable of running away from danger unless Our Hero is dragging them along by the hand.
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The Velveteen Ocelot
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Sun Aug-05-07 10:15 AM
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20. Also, the hero's girlfriend always trips and falls |
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as they are running away from the bad guys.
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sarge43
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Sun Aug-05-07 02:04 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
26. Well yeah, try running in high heels. |
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Dancing maybe, high heels and it's butt to dirt.
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Lydia Leftcoast
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Sun Aug-05-07 04:42 PM
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27. Yeah, well, why is the heroine in high heels in the jungle anyway, huh? |
sarge43
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Sun Aug-05-07 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #27 |
28. For the same reason her hair stays perfectly groomed and |
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her makeup never smudges or runs. Our heroine usually isn't getting the big bucks for her legendary acting abilities.
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fudge stripe cookays
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Sun Aug-05-07 07:25 PM
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32. "These were Italian." |
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"Now they're sensible."
Romancing the Stone, one of my favorite movies of all time.
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sarge43
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Sun Aug-05-07 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
34. That was a good moment and a great line. n/t |
treestar
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Sun Aug-05-07 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #13 |
25. Women are also incapable of doing anything but stand there yelling |
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when two men are fighting. They can do little or nothing to help their hero - call for help, find some way to help the hero herself, no all she can do is stand there on the sidelines screaming.
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sarge43
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Sun Aug-05-07 05:56 AM
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15. In action flicks Our Hero must have a wise older mentor |
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A role Morgan Freeman has pretty much cornered.
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trof
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Sun Aug-05-07 09:04 AM
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17. Heroes exiting cabs always have right change plus tip. |
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They never wait for change.
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begin_within
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Sun Aug-05-07 09:50 AM
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18. There's a whole web site about this stuff... |
FloridaJudy
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Sun Aug-05-07 10:08 AM
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19. When the Bad Guy and the Hero are duking it out |
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The Heroine stands around looking petrified and wringing her hands - all the while I'm screaming "Grab a heavy object and knock the SOB out, you dim twit!"
This one isn't as common these days, thank the gods.
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Frank Cannon
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Sun Aug-05-07 10:52 AM
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21. My favorite: Grabbed-by-the-Lapels Quadriplegia |
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Enraged Ape told me about this, and by God, I think it's in every cop TV show/movie ever made. They STILL do this, and it's about the hoariest cliché there is.
Grabbed-by-the-Lapels Quadriplegia happens when, after a brief scuffle, the hero grabs the bad guy by the lapels and pushes him up against the wall. Mysteriously, the bad guy suddenly loses all use of his arms and legs. He's completely paralyzed. He cannot kick or punch or grab or gouge or fight back in any way. He can only hang there against the wall like a wet dishrag.
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begin_within
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Sun Aug-05-07 10:57 AM
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22. The middle-aged black lady on the park bench, who imparts a pearl of wisdom to the hero, |
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and inadvertently supplies a key piece of information that enables him to continue his quest - and he thanks her with extreme gratitude but she just shrugs it off and goes back to her book or whatever.
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skygazer
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Sun Aug-05-07 11:10 AM
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23. Horses in westerns whinny a lot |
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Which horses under saddle don't do.
The stagecoach horses are always galloping (even when not being chased by bandits or Indians), the worst possible gait for a team of horses and something no experienced driver would ever do.
Bad guys are always lousy shots.
Somebody is always going to fall to their dramatic death through a window or off a roof or balcony.
There's a guy in every military company who's petrified of his own shadow but somehow he survives the action.
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treestar
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Sun Aug-05-07 11:15 AM
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24. One who is hanging out the window or over a cliff will always be |
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saved, but only at the very last minute. LOL, I love this stuff, and did a whole series on the Soap Opera Planet: http://p214.ezboard.com/fnewscastlenewsonlinefrm9
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AWESOM-O
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Sun Aug-05-07 06:54 PM
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29. No matter how long, loud, and destructive the climactic battle is, |
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the cops will only arrive just after it's over, and usually you'll start hearing the sirens right after the final tense standoff.
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Aristus
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Sun Aug-05-07 08:24 PM
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33. I sent this one in to Roger Ebert: The Lady MacBeth Shower Of Penitence. |
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To wit: If a film's character, almost always female, commits a crime, however morally excuseable or necessary to the plot, she is always discovered later taking a shower and fruitlessly try to scrub away the guilt.
Also: The Lady MacBeth Shower Of Penitence Nudity Exemption: A female character in a movie almost always takes a shower in order to secure an "R" rating for nudity. One exception, The L McB SOP, where her naughty bits are tastefully covered by her hair, arms, elbows, the shower curtain, etc.
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Lionel Mandrake
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Sun Aug-05-07 08:47 PM
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35. When a woman in an old movie sees something horrible, she SCREAMS. |
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Here are some more cliches: 1. When the camera pans across a shelf of bottles, glasses, etc., you know what will happen later on in the movie. 2. The martial arts expert tells the bad guys he doesn't want any trouble, and they think he is scared of them. Guess what happens next. 3. If there's a fruit stand by the side of the road, you know there will be a chase, and .... 4. An old cop asks the good cop, "Who else have you told about this?"
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Danger Mouse
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Sun Aug-05-07 09:56 PM
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36. A cop who is only days from retirement... |
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is always marked for death. Good guys never miss. Bad guys always miss. How the hell does that work? Even the biggest super elite hand-picked special forces wearing body armor can be defeated with hardly any effort by some punk who had a couple months of police/martial arts training. it goes on and on...
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