Condom buying question.

[reyd reid reed]

ask 'em here.




It had to be done.


:hide:

[skygazer]

1. Are those ribs really "for her pleasure?"

[Deja Q]

2. No, but I bet they're tasty. Now if only they came in a larger size...

:rofl:

[reyd reid reed]

4. Depends on

the sauce.

[kay1864]

12. Well heck, that's an easy one...

[Pierre.Suave]

3. uhm, ok

is it inproper to, when buying condoms, go through a checkout lane occupied by a female checkout person?

edit: I am a guy if that makes a difference.

[Deja Q]

8. Dunno. I do all the time. Just to see her reaction.

:evilgrin:

[Pierre.Suave]

11. well

sometimes there is no other option. It always makes me feel a bit weird. Especially when she tells me to have a good day after the transaction...

Honestly, if I am buying condoms, having a good day is a given, dont you think?

[Deja Q]

14. In theory...

How does she know I don't make balloon animals out of them?

[montanto]

40. i've had that happen before too. have a good evening!! yep, ok.

[reyd reid reed]

10. When purchasing condoms in a lane operated by a female clerk

disguise your purchase by adding a box of Tampons. She'll be so impressed by your willingness to make that sacrifice that she won't even notice the other one.

[kay1864]

"I've got pads! Pads! I've got PADS!"

/obscure Richard Jeni reference

[skygazer]

33. As a female checkout person

I can tell you we don't give a fuck. :P


However, every once in a while we take notice of a purchase. My favorite was the guy who bought a bottle of champagne, a dozen roses and a box of condoms. :rofl:

[Fire Walk With Me]

39. I hope he presented them in the right order!

[southpaw]

51. For her sorority initiation...

my niece had to go into a grocery store and buy the biggest cucumber in the produce section, the biggest jar of vaseline in the store and nothing else. As the cashier was ringing up the purchase, she had to ask if the store had a public restroom she could use.

One of the sisters shadowed her to make sure she bought only the two items and offered no explanation to the cashier.

[Patiod]

53. Oh, that's a good one

Not an initiation, but on Valentine's Day, the drugstore was MOBBED by people I knew (other greeks), when the pharmacist came to the front, and yelled "Is there a patiod here? Patiod?!!!" Everyone looked up to see him waving what was clearly a plastic box of birthcontrol pills. Lovely.

These days, I'd have his ass with HIPA, but that was an earlier time.

[Deja Q]

65. And where did that fella live?

:hide:

[Deep13]

41. Only if it is the register at the wrong store.

They sell them. Is it improper to have tampons rung-up by a male employee. I hope not, because as a one-time drugstore clerk I did it all the time.

[HEyHEY]

75. fuck no! You want her to know you're getting laid.

[formerrepuke]

5. Anything else for you, sir? ..."yes, um, a copy of 'Cat Fancy' and, um, some Skittles.."

[bridgit]

9. you are *so* gonna get your ass kicked yes INDEED!!

:rofl:

[rug]

6. Does the reservoir tip come in various volumes?

[kay1864]

7. Here's mine...

If you got an e-mail that basically said, give us a cashiers check by 5pm tonight or else, would you tell them to fuck off or not?











:P







And does your answer change if the email said "ps: Your condom broke two months ago"?

[Pierre.Suave]

16. hey

thats not a condom question. Although, that sales lady is FUCKING SEXY! So, maybe it is a condom question.

edit, I just saw the rest of that. Damn, good one. NO, as sexy as she is I have not yet had the opportunity to have that conversation...

[Deja Q]

13. Wow, this thread had exploded much sooner than I had anticipated...

:rofl:

[racaulk]

15. Yep, we couldn't keep this one under wraps.

:rofl:

[rug]

17. People keep coming in and out to read it.

[Deja Q]

18. "to each according to his need"

Nice sig line, out of context...

:spray:

[racaulk]

19. People get too excited and can't control themselves! Then they just go off!

:bounce:

[kath]

20. Oh, lordy.

:eyes: :eyes:

[racaulk]

21. Do condoms come in an XS size?

HypnoToad wanted me to ask.

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

24. Well, even for folks like you, barebacking is a no-no...

:spray:

[racaulk]

28. Oooooohh...BURN!!!

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

32. Well, I *did* have to make a comeback for that!

:rofl:

[racaulk]

37. Indeed. I expected no less from you!

:rofl:

[Pierre.Suave]

26. hahaha

that just made me laugh out loud, seriously. People are looking at me funny.

[FloridaJudy]

35. Yes they do.

Or at least they used to. Ramses made a condom called "Safe Play" that was targeted at younger teens - I'm not sure if they still do.

As an OB/GYN practitioner with decades of experience, it was one of the few products I simultaneously approved of, while being appalled by the need for it. Rather like cherry-flavored AZT syrup (for children with HIV): you're glad it's there, but wish it didn't have to be.

[Schema Thing]

45. Yes. The normal size is XS.

It's the condom industries version of one (ok two) size fits all.

Thank god for sheepskin!

[Deja Q]

22. Okay, here's a question: Do you know the Duggar family?

If so, ask them if they could use a few...

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. Do the ladies prefer Trojans or Spartans?

Do you like films about gladiators, Billy?

[Deja Q]

25. What about Magnums?

:hide:

[Pierre.Suave]

29. I dont know but...

I usually walk around the store with the box of Magnums proudly displayed.

[FloridaJudy]

36. BWAhaahaahaaaa! Snort

:spray: :rofl:

Personally, I prefer movies about men in Turkish prisons.

[Pierre.Suave]

27. you know what

I just now figured out this was a copycat of my own thread...

Nice one.

[kay1864]

30. omg

I knew it was a copycat, but I didn't realize you were the author of the condo post.

Forgive me, but now I'm :rofl:ing at your "hey thats not a condom question" above. :P

[Pierre.Suave]

31. yeah

I seem to be the dupe here in this thread.

[kay1864]

34. But at least you got some replies in your condo thread

I can't even get rrr to flirt back with me in this one! :cry:

[billyskank]

38. I have this horrible feeling that if women really said what they wanted from a condom

it would be padded condoms. :hide:

Not that that would be much fun for him. x(

[supernova]

58. Padded condoms?

Thank you for THAT image.

New use for bubble wrap?.


:hide:

[Deja Q]

69. Padded? How? Why? What for? I've heard of padded cells, but this is silly!

:wow:

[billyskank]

71. Oh come on, Toad, use your imagination

;)

[Deja Q]

72. Okay, what if Tampax made padded condoms?

:popcorn:

[Deep13]

42. Do they come in a steel-belted radial design?

I really do not like children.

[Deja Q]

73. Um, how much mileage do you plan to get out of one condom?!

:wow:

[Guava Jelly]

43. I have to use the extra small ones

And tie a knot in the end :mad: :silly:

[triguy46]

44. Should I buy new or pre-owned?

[billyskank]

46. Oh my god

I bet you never had the "geronimo" public service TV ads, did you?

:scared:

[triguy46]

47. Just trying to see if anyone was awake around here.

:woohoo:

[Deja Q]

Pre-owned condoms are more readily found on the ground... often in parks or forests.

When doing nature photography, I was unfortunate enough to see used wrappers and the actually used condoms on the ground.

:puke:

[guitar man]

48. do they make a size larger than Magnum??

I can get those on, but they are still a bit snug :P

[billyskank]

49. Knowing how men are, "magnum" size is probably about four inches long.

:D

[guitar man]

55. damn

I stepped right into that one...:hide:

[Deja Q]

63. Do I need to teach you how to convert centimetres into inches?

That's a wee bit over 20cm. (20.574cm)

No wonder you lot stayed with centimetres; 20 sounds rather larger than 8... Unfortunately, it really isn't... :spray:

[triguy46]

50. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL Extreme Plus Ultra Jumbo Whopper

[Deja Q]

59. Magnum XL

Have fun!

:bounce:

[guitar man]

70. that's almost big enough!!

:hide:

[Hugin]

52. They'll NEVER replace chewing gum!

Lose flavor waaay too fast.

[MiserableFailure]

54. Is it really true that regular sized condoms fit everyone?

That's what they say, but I find it hard to believe.

[Pierre.Suave]

57. I dont know

do you want to do the testing, I sure dont...

[Deja Q]

62. Well, they'd fit some guys more snugly than others... and the snug ones be smug...

and in a lot of pain, but they'd still be smug. :spray:

[AwakeAtLast]

56. What's the best flavor?

:evilgrin:

This is so gonna get locked.

:evilgrin:

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

60. Coconut, of course!

:rofl:

[av8rdave]

61. Back in the days when I had to buy them, it was an embarrassing process

I understand it's no big deal now....how unfair is that? I'm probably scarred for life!

[Deja Q]

64. At least you got a need for them that transcended making balloon doggies...

:hide:

[av8rdave]

66. Well, back in the day, a lot of times they were purchased with the hope of needing them

My ratio of purchased to actually used back then was probably a fairly large number!

[Deja Q]

67. So much for balloon doggies; how about balloon elephants? Talk about a big trunk...

:hide:

[av8rdave]

68. rofl!

[hedgehog]

74. Did you ever wonder how they came up with the standard size?

[Deja Q]

76. They polled 100 men and got their best responses?

Sorry, I meant "poled".

:hide:

[HEyHEY]

77. They asked Canuckamok's mom

[AwakeAtLast]

78. I'm sure matcom would have TONS of questions

Too bad he's on vacation! ;)

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

79. Should we keep kicking this thread until his return?

:puffpiece:

[Hugin]

80. Meh, he'd just ask if they still sell those Condom Training Suspenders...

:rofl: