Am teaching Home Ec in high school tomorrow--Got any tips?

[Whoa_Nelly]

Am substitute teaching right now.

Oh, joy!

[The Straight Story]

1. Teach them how to properly order from a drive through or pizza parlor

:)

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. And how to act if they are on the other side of that microphone

or counter.

Can't tell you how many times a teen has screwed up my drive-thru order....

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Teach 'em how not to chew gum in public and avoid looking like a cheap whore.

[sasquatch]

3. How about looking like an expensive whore?

:D

[The Straight Story]

7. You mean, politicians?

:)

[sasquatch]

31. Or at the very least New Car salesman

[Whoa_Nelly]

10. But, what if there are boys in the class?

Should I teach them about heavy eyeliner and sequined low-cut scoop tops, too?

[ruiner4u]

4. teach em how to make fried chicken coated with corn flakes

edited for spelling since apparently I am the only person to have ever made a typo.

[Whoa_Nelly]

11. What's friend chicken?

And should I teach them the Funky Chicken, too?

[ruiner4u]

13. refer to the now edited version.

[Whoa_Nelly]

16. I kinda like Friend Chicken!

Sounds like something that would fun to share! ;)

[ruiner4u]

17. well

give me 20 bux, 10 beers, and a few hours in the kitchen Im sure I could whip something up...:)


Or in my drunkenness I could make some really bad chicken.. and possibly burn down your kitchen... :)

[Ptah]

5. The two essentials for food preperation are Time and Temperature.

:hi:

[Whoa_Nelly]

12. I agree

Perhpas a Polynesian themed meal would be fun!

[unsavedtrash]

6. how about household cleaning tips/tricks.

I would have saved so much money on apartment security deposits in my late teens/early 20's if I had known some of these things.

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. Kids want to know how to clean?

Wow! Now there's a concept!

[mitchum]

8. You most likely won't have to do anything...

the teacher will have left some worksheets, some students will sleep, others will ask for a pass to somewhere, you will read a lot. And there will be a coffeemaker close at hand.
I always took Home Ec gigs :)

[Whoa_Nelly]

9. Cool!

And here I was all nervous. Suzy homemaker I ain't! But, maybe they will like that I'm also an Interior Designer.

[mzteris]

18. our highschool home ec teacher

had a reputation for vodka in her coffee - which she drank ALL DAY.

I never took the class, though. My mom was home ec enough for me.

Too bad I evidently didn't learn a damn thing. I'm a terrible housekeeper.

I told my husbands "if I'd've wanted to be a HOUSEwife, I'd've married a HOUSE!"

[struggle4progress]

19. Growing America's #1 cash crop in your basement: the miracle of hydroponics

[Whoa_Nelly]

24. Now there's a great idea!

And making the world safe for Democracy!

[JVS]

20. Casserole day!

[Whoa_Nelly]

25. Shall we cook tuna today, ladies??

[Shine]

21. No tips to offer, but good luck to you!!

:yourock: Good for you! :thumbsup:

[Whoa_Nelly]

26. Thanks, Shine!

:loveya: :hi:

[ruiner4u]

22. Introduce them to the hedgehog.

Or the mother of all meat loaves


1/2 lb sliced mushroom
butter <LOTS of it>
salt and pepper
grated nutmeg
1/2 lb chicken liver, sliced and crushed
1 lb each ground beef, pork, AND turkey
1 lb pork sausage
1 large grated onion
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 heaping tsp allspice
touch 'o thyme
2 eggs
1/2 lb bacon slices
and bay leaves for the top


Mix and treat like a wimpy meatloaf, except criss cross the bacon on top.. Bake at 450 for 15 min, then reduce to 350 for 1.5 hours...

Serve...

check cholesterol level a week later and take appropriate medication

[WCGreen]

23. Burn the toast...

Leave the iron on...

Wear fuzzie slippers...

Drink coffee mixed with Bourbon

And have a Winston 100 hangin' from the side of your mouth...

Ad say, This is reality...

Class dismissed...

[Whoa_Nelly]

27. Thanks for helping me put the finishing touches on my wardrobe for tomorrow!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. Watch out for the boys...

They'll try to take the toasters apart.

Won't the regular teacher leave a lesson plan?

[WinkyDink]

29. Don't go!!

[Orsino]

30. Budgeting. Teach 'em budgeting.

If they can begin to understand how a household budget must be broken down, that is an important step toward living free of the credit-card companies.

[LaraMN]

32. Bring bubble bath for gals and make the guys do all the cooking.

Set the standard early!

:bounce:

[displacedtexan]

33. Tape an episode of Alton Brown and show it in class.

Then have the little darlings write about it.

[Connonym]

34. My tip is get to school early so that the valium has time to kick in

you don't want to drive right after taking it :-P I cannot even imagine ever having the cojones to sub. No frakkin' way. You must be made of tougher stuff than me!

[jmowreader]

35. Teach something modern. Something relevant.

The Internet!

KATE
The internet is really really great

TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn

KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
I browse all day and night

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light

TREKKIE
For porn!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,

KATE
What are you doing!?

TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!

TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster

KATE
You are ruining my song

TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?

TREKKIE
Me no talkie

KATE
Good
I’m glad we have this new technology

TREKKIE
For porn

KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity

TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry

KATE
Right from you own desktop

TREKKIE
For ---

KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop

TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!

KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Noooo

TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!

KATE
Trekkie

TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert

TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster

KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet

TREKKIE
Ohhhh?

KATE
What?!

TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
Sorry kate

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

PRINCETON
I masturbate!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
Gross!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!

KATE
I hate porn

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click

KATE
I hate you men!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I’m leaving!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn

KATE
I hate the internet!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!