Bathroom Humor: My Take on the Senator Craig Thingy

[The Donkey]

Okay, here's the thing I don't get so much. . . .

Let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that the whole thing was just a big, fabulous misunderstanding. There are still important logistical questions that NEED to be answered:

I suppose I can see maybe tapping your foot while making a big dookie. Maybe you're trying to jar something loose. Maybe you're just thinking of a song to pass the time away, as being in an airport toilet isn't the most fun place in the world.

But needing to put your feet so far apart that they invade the stall next to you? Now I'm kind of a thin guy, so maybe it's just the way my pants are made, but it would be physically impossible to keep my legs in my pants when they're down around my ankles and still have the ability to get a foot into each of the surrounding stalls. It can't be done people!

Speaking of which, even if you had to "de-pant" one leg to get the job done, I think that the least of your worries should be that you might be gay. I'm thinking that a change of diet might be first on your priority list. If you're producing logs so massive that you have to nearly perform a split to crank that baby out, then maybe a few apples and prune juice might save you from beckoning the jaws of life every time you have to evacuate the poo-pipe.

Or, you could just be a closeted gay hypocrite.

Either way, apples are still a tasty snack.

[HERVEPA]

1. Speaking of Constipation

FIVE CONSTIPATED MEN: *

Chorus
There were five, five constipated men in the Bible, in the Bible.
There were five, five constipated men In the holy books of Moses.

Oh, the first, first constipated man Was Cain, he was not able.
Oh, the first, first constipated man Was Cain, he was not able.
*
Oh, the next, next constipated man Was Moses, he took the tablets.
Oh, the next, next constipated man Was Moses, he took the tablets.
*
Oh, the third, third constipated man Was Solomon, he sat for forty
years.
Oh, the third, third constipated man Was Solomon, he sat for forty
years.
*
Oh, the fourth, fourth constipated man Was Balam, he couldn't move
his ass.
Oh, the fourth, fourth constipated man Was Balam, he couldn't move
his ass.
*
Oh, the last, last constipated man
Was Sampson, he brought the house down...